RACHEL

He dragged me into the living room and shoved me forward. I stumbled, my foot slipping as I nearly hit the floor.

"What the hell was that at the reunion? Have you lost all respect for me?" he barked, closing the gap between us.

I stood my ground, hands planted on my hips. I had nothing left to give Jeremy or this marriage.

The only thing remaining was my brazenness, and I wouldn't tone it down to make him feel like a man. Never.

"What do you think it was, Jeremy? I wouldn't have done that if you had an iota of respect for me... your wife," I fired back with an unwavering gaze.

He was taken aback, but it took only a second before his expression returned to scorn.

"What did I do, Rachel? What was so bad about having fun?" he flared, throwing his hands in the air. "Marrying you shouldn't stop me from enjoying my life."

I burst into laughter at his statement. Tears streamed down my face as I laughed-sharp, broken laughter that hurt my chest. Despite everything, he didn't find anything wrong with what he did.

This motherfucker was still justifying his actions.

"Just having fun?" I scoffed. "Doing things that make you happy? Does that include disrespecting our vows? Our love? Our marriage?" My voice croaked. I struggled to push back the tears pooling in my eyes and surging within me.

Before today, I would cry, kneel, and beg him to stop tainting our marital vows-but not anymore. I'm exhausted. I just want to breathe without thinking of a husband whose eyes chase everything in a skirt.

He gave a light laugh, closed the distance between us, and gripped my shoulders firmly. "Things aren't as serious as they seem, Rachel. You're the one making everything look like a problem when it isn't," he deadpanned. "It's not disrespectful if I'm having fun outside. I didn't bring them into our home," he added with sheer nonchalance.

A scoff escaped my lips. My husband wasn't as smart as I thought he was. Maybe I was the one who placed too many expectations on him. I just couldn't believe the things he was saying.

"You are unbelievable, Jeremy," I spat, my voice shaking. I moved out of his grip and shook my head. "You are unbelievable, and you sound so dumb."

His brows creased. "Did you just call me dumb? Huh, Rachel?" he sputtered, appalled.

Instead of responding, I hissed and walked away. It was no use speaking with him when he was drunk. I bet he wouldn't even remember this whole issue by morning.

⸻

The next morning, I woke up before anyone else even though I didn't sleep early. I knew I had promised myself not to cry over him anymore, but I just couldn't stop the tears from falling. They kept coming even as I tried to hold them back.

My head was filled with thoughts of him. Before marriage, he was all over me. He promised to be faithful, to give me the kind of marriage I had always prayed for. So how did everything get to this stage? A stage where he had no respect for me and what we shared?

I went straight to the kitchen and made breakfast, hoping we could fix whatever was left of us and put the past behind us.

Two hours later, I heard the sound of his approaching footsteps, and I walked out of the kitchen.

"Good morning, hubby," I muttered with a smile.

He was fully dressed in a black suit, a gray-blue tie, and carrying a black bag. I couldn't help falling for him all over again when I set my eyes on him.

But he didn't respond. Instead, he sauntered to the shelf, picked up his car keys, and headed toward the door.

My brows knitted in surprise and confusion.

"Are you leaving for work already? Without breakfast?" I asked, following him.

"I didn't think you'd bother cooking for a 'dumb' husband," he replied.

Oh, fuck. He still remembered what happened last night. I thought he was drunk and would have forgotten most of our argument.

"You know I didn't mean that, Jeremy," I said, still walking behind him. Just as he reached for the door handle, I grabbed his arm and looked up at him pleadingly. "If I truly meant what I said, I wouldn't wake up early just to make your favorite meal," I added, my lips curling into a playful smile.

He sighed and looked at me for the first time since coming downstairs. "You take simple things too seriously, Rachel. That's one flaw you have, and you need to work on it," he began.

"Even if I mess around with other women, it doesn't mean I love them. I do not, Rachel. My heart is with you. I've got eyes for you alone, honey." He held my hands and locked his gaze with mine.

There it was-his usual manipulation. For a moment, I thought he wouldn't do something like that, but I was wrong. After every argument about his cheating, he resorted to manipulating me-just like he was doing now.

The anger I had suppressed before morning reignited, and I almost erupted like a bomb. Hissing, I jerked my hand away from his and stepped back.

"You don't need to eat the breakfast I made, Jeremy, and you also don't need to justify your multiple sex escapades. Just leave," I said, my voice turning cold on the last word.

"You-" he started.

"You heard me, Jeremy," I cut him off. "Leave," I snarled.

He didn't say another word. Instead, he opened the door and left the house.

Placing my hands on my hips, I leaned my head back and blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes. When would Jeremy change? When would he stop causing me heartache? When would all this trouble end?

When I heard his car drive off, I went back to the dining table, ate breakfast, and then got ready for work. We worked at the same company-our company-but we rarely went together. He wouldn't even allow it.

I had just finished dressing when my phone rang. Glancing at the screen, I saw it was my best friend, Lena.

My lips curved into a smile as I answered the call.

"Hey, darling," I said.

"Hey, my beautiful married friend," she teased from the other end. I could swear she rolled her eyes when she said "married." Lena hated that I was married-or rather, she hated the person I was married to. She had told me my situation gave her more reason never to settle for any man.

"How are you, darling?" she added.

"I'm fine," I breathed out.

"Are you sure, Rachel? You don't sound fine to me," she said, her tone laced with worry.

I should have known my fake excitement wouldn't fool Lena. She always knew when something was wrong.

"Talk to me, baby girl. Or do you want me to come over?" she blurted. "I'm not busy right now. I can be on my way if you want."

"Hell no, Lena. It isn't that serious," I said, shaking my head as if she could see me.

"That means it's serious," she asserted. "Now start talking. What's wrong? Is it your husband again?"

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "Hmm... There's... another woman," I revealed.

An awkward silence followed.

That was unusual. The Lena I knew would have shouted and rained curses on Jeremy and the woman.

My mouth parted to ask what was wrong, but before I could speak, she exhaled heavily.

"What would it take for you to leave these shackles in the name of marriage, Rachel?" she asked, her voice low and sharp. "You can't keep living like this, Rachel. What if he gets infected out there and passes it to you?" Her tone carried concern and frustration. "It could be deadly. You could die, love."

Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose before opening them again. "I know, Lena."

"Then leave," she snapped. "If you know, then walk away. Or does your life mean nothing to you? Will you leave only when he completely ruins you?"

Lena's words were unusually intense today. In the past, she would curse him and then make me laugh, but today was different. Something about it made my heart ache and drop. It made tears well up in my eyes.

"He was my first, Lena. My first in everything. My virginity... he was the one I lost it to," my voice croaked.

"Does it matter? No. Being your first doesn't mean he should be your last. This guy isn't worth it, girl. Leave," she muttered.

I shut my eyes and exhaled deeply. Everything Lena said was right. Jeremy wasn't worth it, yet I couldn't leave because I felt no one else would want me since I had already lost my virginity to him. That was the mindset I grew up with in an extremely religious family.

"Are you listening to me?"

Her voice cut through my thoughts.

Opening my eyes, I nodded. "Y-yes, Lena. I'm listening. I just... I just..." I trailed off, searching for words. "You know what? I'll think about everything you said. I know you're just trying to look out for me, and I truly appreciate it. Thank you so much, my girl," I said with a small smile.

She chuckled. "Don't thank me yet, idiot. I want to see your actions, not just your words."

"You just watch, girl. I'll show you how serious I am," I said, and we both laughed.

"I need to go now. I don't want to be late for work," I added, picking up my bag and heading toward the door.

"You talk as if anyone is going to punish you for being late," she teased. "It's your husband's company, for God's sake."

"I know, Lena. But policy is policy. The company's rules apply to everyone, no matter who you are," I explained.

"Alright... I'll let you go now. Talk to you later," she said, blew me a kiss, and hung up.

I shook my head and got into the car as soon as the call ended. Lena is troublesome, and she's also the only reason I haven't completely fallen apart.

RACHEL

It took Jeremy days to warm up to me again-days where he barely ate and said nothing to me. He left the house every morning before I woke up and returned very late at night.

At work, he ignored me and only spoke to me about business. At some point, I got exhausted and became eager to settle the rift between us.

But things were different this morning; he didn't leave the house before I woke up. Instead, he came to wake me and asked me to prepare breakfast for him. For the first time in days, it felt like I could breathe again.

I was excited. After days of silent treatment, I thought I would die. I thought I wouldn't survive it.

Instantly, I got up and went into the kitchen to make pancakes, scrambled eggs, and tea.

My hands trembled slightly as I set the table. While I was setting the table, he came over and took a seat. I joined him afterward, and we ate in silence. I sneaked peeks at him with each bite. It had been four years, yet my heart still wouldn't stop beating fast around him.

"Let's talk about us, Rachel." The silence at the table broke. I froze before slowly turning to face him. He took several sips of tea and put the mug down. "We can't keep fighting over the same topic every time. I'm exhausted already."

My chest tightened as his words sank in. An ominous feeling settled in my chest. He was either about to ask for a divorce or promise to change for good-but I knew the latter wasn't an option. Change wasn't a part of Jeremy.

I didn't say a word. I silently finished my meal, cleared the table, and returned to my seat.

"What is it you want to talk about, Jeremy?" I asked, intertwining my hands to stop them from shaking.

"Uhm... a lot has been going on in our marriage," he began.

I nodded in agreement, pursing my lips. "A lot... yeah," I muttered.

"You aren't allowing me to explore, Rachel. This marriage feels tight and uncomfortable," he said, looking serious and defensive. "I feel suffocated. Restricted. Locked," he added, emphasizing each word. "This isn't what marriage should feel like. I should be free, not bound. I should be comfortable, not choked."

My lashes fluttered, and I scoffed in disbelief. Lowering my head, I forced a smile to keep my emotions from overwhelming me. I didn't trust my voice enough to speak.

Raising my head, I replied, "So, are you saying I've been suffocating you?" I tried to keep my voice from shaking.

"No, Rachel. That's not the point. I'm just saying you are too strict with some rules, and it's really causing problems between us," he defended, and I let out a few short bursts of sad laughter.

I hated that he was beating around the bush when he could just be direct with me. The anxiety and nervousness building inside me could make me pass out if he didn't say what he wanted soon.

"I think I know where this is going, Jeremy," I said, nibbling on my lower lip and digging my nails into my lap to stop myself from breaking down. "You don't need to keep going back and forth. You're a man. Talk to me. What do you want? What's the solution to all the problems you think we have?" My breath caught in my throat.

"Let's have an open marriage, Rachel," he said plainly, his eyes devoid of emotion. He was just there-neutral and expressionless, as if he hadn't just dropped a bomb.

I didn't react for a few seconds because I was still trying to make sure I hadn't misheard him.

"Did I hear that correctly?" My face tightened.

"You heard correctly, Rachel," he confirmed. "Listen to me... this decision is for the best. You will stop worrying about my affairs, and I will stop worrying about hurting you. It works for both of us," he added.

I snorted. This had to be the funniest joke of the century. A multitude of emotions swirled in my stomach. I didn't know how to react. Should I shout? Cry? Or even slap him for the disrespect?

The most annoying part was Jeremy's nonchalance. He didn't seem to realize how ridiculous his suggestion was.

"Are you listening to me?" His voice drifted into my ears, breaking my train of thought.

When I looked at him, uncontrollable laughter rose from my chest, and I burst out laughing without restraint. He was damn serious. He had to be. Open marriage? What the hell was that?

"You're joking, right?" I muttered through my laughter, covering my mouth with my palm. "No, Jeremy. You have to be joking."

His expressionless face shifted into confusion, then a smile. "No, Rachel. I'm damn serious. An open marriage will work best for us."

I shook my head. "No. No. No," I said, my tone filled with disbelief. "You have to be joking. You can't be serious. I'm not believing this."

"You should stop this, Rachel. Your denial isn't-"

I cut him off.

"And what if I object?" My voice was firm and steady, just like my gaze.

"You have no right to. I've been thinking about this for days before bringing it up. Trust me, there's no way on earth I'm going to do anything that will hurt you," he explained.

A few short laughs escaped my lips. "You wouldn't do anything that would hurt me, huh? What do you think you're doing to me right now, Jeremy? Helping me?" I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Answer me. Are you doing me a favor right now?" I snarled, hitting the table.

He tilted his head slightly. "Well, if you ask me... I'd say yes."

My brows furrowed. "What!" My hands went cold.

Just then, his phone lit up and began to ring.

His lips spread into an excited smile when he glanced at the caller ID.

At that moment, it felt like my heart was being crushed. It was easy to guess that one of the women was calling. Tears rushed to my eyes, burning as they gathered. My blood boiled. My body shook, but I held myself back.

"Excuse me, honey. I need to pick someone up outside." He stood and headed out without waiting for my response.

Gritting my teeth, I clenched my fists and placed them on the table. I was afraid my outburst might ruin everything this morning. No wonder he came to my bedroom and acted so perfectly earlier-he was preparing me for something worse.

A moment later, footsteps echoed through the house. The door opened, revealing a familiar yet unfamiliar face, followed by my husband, who dragged in two pieces of luggage.

I sprang up from my seat the moment I recognized her. "What is she doing here? Why is she in our home?" I rushed out, leaving the dining area and dashing into the living room.

"Calm down, Rachel," Jeremy muttered. Then, holding out his hand with a smile, he said, "Meet Clara."He paused. "My girlfriend. She'll be staying with us from now on."

"What!" I blurted out. My world tilted.

RACHEL

"Calm down, Rachel," Jeremy muttered. Then he held out his hand and, with a smile, introduced, "Meet Clara. My girlfriend. She'll be staying with us henceforth."

"What!" I blurted out, my eyes darting between them. "You're joking, right?" I sneered. "Is this some sort of prank?"

Jeremy was crazy. I always knew that. But not this kind of craziness. No way. No fucking way.

"No, Rachel. She's my girlfriend. You know her already. There's no need for a deep introduction," he explained, nonchalant and expressionless. There wasn't an ounce of guilt or fear in his eyes. Damn!

"You brought this bitch into our house? The same girl you're cheating with?" My voice trailed off at the end. I was still yet to shake off the shock. My chest felt tight, like I couldn't breathe properly. There was no way my life was falling apart right before my eyes. I didn't believe there would be a day when my man would freely bring another woman into our home and introduce her to me as his girlfriend.

"Point of correction, Rachel-I didn't cheat. This is an open marriage... remember?"

"I haven't even agreed to it."

"But your agreement or disagreement means nothing. I didn't inform you about the change because I needed your opinion," he said. "I just wanted you to be informed."

My vision blurred as tears gathered in my eyes. One blink, and they would roll down uncontrollably. My breath hitched, and my chest heaved as I struggled to steady my emotions. I could pass out. I didn't want that. I didn't want to humiliate myself in front of them.

My gaze shifted to the woman beside him, and she smiled-the kind of smile that told you she felt victorious. Then I remembered her threat at the reunion. She had said I would regret touching her... and I really did.

Without saying another word, I snatched my phone from the table and stormed out of the house. My hands were trembling as I grabbed it. I didn't take my car. I just ran. I kept running as if it would erase my problems, as if it would heal my bleeding heart and strengthen my weakened legs. My lungs burned, but I didn't stop. I let the tears stream down my face as I ran. It felt like thousands of needles were piercing my heart at once. I felt horrible, miserable, and helpless.

Maybe I should have given up on him when he cheated the first time. Maybe I shouldn't have given him another chance when he asked for it the second time. Would I have been able to preserve his respect for me? Now, it felt like I had lost everything.

I was still running when my phone rang. I didn't want to pick up at first, but when I glanced at the screen, I saw it was Lena. At that moment, I knew she was the one I needed. She was the only one who could stop me from going insane.

My hands shook as I answered the call. I picked up the call and burst into tears instantly. I couldn't even form words.

She panicked on the other end. Her voice gave it away. "What is wrong, Rachel? What is wrong? Why are you crying? Is it Jeremy? Did he hit you? Did something happen?" She fired questions at me.

My sobs intensified with every question. It was as though they fueled the fire burning inside me.

"Okay... calm down, Rachel. Take a deep breath," she said softly. "Take a deep breath and tell me where you are so I can come to you. Are you at home or at work?" she asked. "Oh! I can hear cars. You know what? Turn on your location. I'm coming right now."

The call disconnected, and I did as she instructed.

Twenty minutes later, Lena arrived.

The moment I saw her, I pulled her into an embrace and broke into another round of tears. She wasn't shocked. She didn't tense up or ask questions. Instead, she gently caressed my back in slow, steady circles, and whispered, "It's fine, girl. Nothing is wrong. Everything will be fine."

After another five minutes, my sobbing subsided and eventually stopped. Still, she didn't ask any questions. She helped me into the car and drove me to her house.

"Had breakfast?" she asked as we walked into her apartment.

I nodded. Lena was fuming. Her silence revealed it-it was louder than any outburst.

"Go into the bathroom and take a bath. Take a nap after that. We'll talk when you wake up," she said simply, patting my shoulder before leaving the bedroom.

⸻

The sky had turned gray by the time I opened my eyes. I was surprised. I didn't expect to sleep that long, but somehow it happened. I had slept for hours despite the thousands of thoughts running through my head. I felt strangely numb, like my body had given up before my mind did.

That was a miracle. A rare one at that.

The door opened, and Lena walked in.

"Our sleeping beauty is finally awake," she teased with a wide smile. She walked over to the bed and ran her fingers through my hair. "Did you sleep well, love?"

I nodded. "Surprisingly... as you can see..." I gestured toward the sky with my head.

"That's great. That means the sleeping incense worked," she said, causing my brows to rise.

"What? A sleeping incense?" I asked.

"Yes. That's the only way I can get you to relax enough to sleep. Otherwise, that bastard's thoughts will deprive you of sleep after already depriving you of happiness," she spat.

Seeing her anger, I didn't dare provoke her. So I simply agreed. "Yeah... no way."

Then she went to her wardrobe, rummaged through it for a few seconds, and returned with a red dress.

"Take it. Dress up. Pick any matching heels and bag from the collection over there," she instructed. Her eyes scanned my face for a few seconds before she continued, "Hmm... you don't need any makeup or styling since you already look good. That's great." She clapped her hands together. "Just dress up and meet me in the living room. You have an hour."

None of what she said made sense to me. Dress up? For what?

From my confused expression, I guessed she could tell what I was thinking. She snapped her fingers in front of my face, making me blink.

"We're going out tonight. And you're not saying no."

My brows knitted, "Clubbing? Or where-"

Before I could confirm, she was gone. I knew what that meant-no objections. I just had to follow her lead. Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. In fact, it might be exactly what I needed tonight.

Without overthinking it, I got dressed. Lena said I didn't need makeup, right? Well, I applied some anyway... just enough to make me look bold and dangerous. I wanted to look like I could survive tonight. And I swear, that moment was oddly distracting. I loved it.

"Lena! I'm ready. let's go!" I shouted as I stepped into the living room.