"Sorry," I said, even though I didn't want to be tricked into borrowing from loan sharks.

Or being beaten to a pulp.

Or being forced to slap myself.

Or being tied to a wall like a dog, forced to stay on all fours if I wanted to eat.

However, it was either that, or they would dig Grandpa out of his grave and desecrate his body.

Stella paused in turn, studying before smiling in approval, "Uriah's right. You just need to suffer a little and you've changed."

Uriah Sullivan had been living with the Sullivans before they found me, while I had been living with his grandfather.

And I was slow on the uptake, as it didn't cross my mind why Stella would mention Uriah at that time.

Stella beckoned at me, being nice for once like she was giving treats to a dog just because I lived up to her expectations.

"Come," she told me, as I had been sitting as far away as I could and averted my eyes, staring at the car mat beneath my feet.

My eyes narrowed, repulsed by the way she ordered me around like I was a dog, and didn't move.

And when I didn't move, her tone became stern. "I said, come."

I didn't answer, but straightened my back as if to salvage that fragile dignity of mine—which I was supposed to have given up on, when I begged the loan sharks for mercy.

And since I wasn't answering, the car was silent.

Whether she was not used to the silence or because she got impatient, Stella reached out with her hand.

My back stiffened even before she could grab my arm, but I was sitting by the car door and couldn't dodge.

And the instant she touched me, my nostrils picked up the scent of her faint perfume.

It was the same perfume she always used—a gift from Uriah.

I remembered that I had a fight with Uriah because I thought he was out of line, and my parents froze my card in response.

That was why when I visited Grandpa, all I had was little cash.

His kidney failure was getting worse, but he couldn't afford the hospital so he never went.

When I took him to the hospital, I didn't have money for the bills.

Neither of my parents answered my calls, but somehow, the other rich brats who were always at odds with me showed up and laughed at me.

"The great Mr. Sullivan needs cash? Well, we're not that cold—you just have to lick our shoes and you will get your money, how about that?"

I didn't hesitate to do it, arching my back as I licked their shoes.

Grandpa was the one who raised me. If I had one shot at saving him, I would seize it.

The room was quiet aside from the sounds of my clothes brushing against the floor, and they had recorded me as I did.

They were all guffawing as they left, not before throwing a couple of hundred-dollar bills on the floor.

"Why don't you look in the mirror next time before you hover around Ms. Lewis?!"

"Yeah! Your love for her is only worth this much!"

Therefore, I was left with no other recourse than to borrow from loan sharks, but it was already too late for Grandpa.

After arranging his funeral, the loan sharks were already hounding me to pay them back.

I called Stella for help, only for her to snap at them impatiently, before snapping at me too and telling me to apologize.

And with that, she hung up.

The memories could stop my heart, and I got goosebumps on my arm where Stella touched me.

It felt as if a serpent coiled around me—a cold creepiness that swelled in my heart, leaving me so sick and nauseated I could throw up right then.

I knocked Stella's hand away as hard as I could and arched my back, holding myself against the front seat with one hand while I clasped the other over my mouth and retched violently.

Although I hadn't eaten for days and there was nothing I could vomit, the pungent acid scent sent Stella scrambling for a tissue to stuff her nostrils, while snapping at me in disgust, "What are you doing?!"

But I kept retching as I couldn't hear a thing, and only stopped when I no longer felt sick.

Stella said nothing and kept glaring coolly at me, and I knew well enough to tell that she was on the verge of an outburst.

While I usually would play dumb and ignore that, I didn't do so this time—just as I knew fully well I had no right to fight back, just as I was too enfeebled.

Keeping my head down as my fingers dug into the front seat, I said, "I'm sorry… I can walk on my own—I'm really sorry I got your car dirty. I'll wash it when I get home."

Stella paused and studied me suspiciously for a moment, and suddenly reached out toward my head.

I watched as her hand got closer, my whole body stiffening.

I knew I shouldn't avoid her touch because I had always yearned for her to respond to my affection.

However, she was very assertive and thought little of me, and would verbally destroy me if I even upset her a little—so that I felt embarrassed and hurt.

I stiffened in my seat, telling myself repeatedly not to hide or upset her.

However, when her cool fingers reached me again, I felt the same creepy serpentine sensation once more, and couldn't help turning my face away from her touch.

Stella's hand was left frozen mid-air, and when she looked at me again, I felt her indignation and impatience.

However, that was when I felt nauseated once more, and I shook my head repeatedly.

Suddenly, Stella's face was gone, and I was looking at my grandfather lying on his sick bed.

Because of these people, I had lost the only person who had been good to me.

As I blinked, tears gushed down my cheeks.

Seeing that, Stella—who clearly had some choice words for me—ultimately said nothing, and turned to tell the chauffeur to drive faster in it.

As I wiped my tears with my sleeves, I curled into a ball, staying silent and did my best to appear invisible.

My vision was a blur as I stared blankly outside, when it occurred to me.

If only Stella were willing to help, Grandpa would have been saved.

I wouldn't have to borrow from loan sharks either, let alone end up in this sorry state.

But in the end, pondering about what ifs was pointless.

-

When the MPV stopped, I bumped my forehead on the front seat from inertia.

"Are you okay?" Stella asked.

Her asking me that was like seeing a blue moon.

Still, I shook my head in silence, clutching my forehead.

For her part, she didn't press the issue and alighted right away, ignoring me and entered the Sullivan residence.

I went upstairs and quickly took a bath, changing out of my filthy trousers.

There were several gruesome holes on my left kneecap—the blood had dried and blackened.

It was a souvenir from the loan sharks, who had hammered several nails into my kneecap, and laughed out loud as I rolled around the ground, screaming and writhing in pain.

After that, they starved me and said I only got to eat if I pulled those nails out with my own bare hands.

It had been nothing less than an absolute nightmare.

Nonetheless, I changed into fresh clothes and cleaned up my wounds before heading downstairs.

It just happened to be dinner, and my mother looked at me in disbelief, but soon beckoned while scoffing. "So you can find your way back. And you were gone so long without even calling home…"

My grief was ready to burst right then, but someone spoke before I could, "Mom, aren't you going to have tea with Mrs. Chandler?"

It was Uriah, dressed sharply in a suit as he strode in the door.

Mom quickly turned away from me, exclaiming, "Oh, right! I almost forgot—thanks for reminding me!"

Uriah shrugged and settled on the couch, grinning at me as he said, "Oh, you're finally back, John. It's high time you learned to fend for yourself and stop upsetting our parents."

Everyone turned toward me right then, while my heart skipped a beat when I saw Uriah's mocking grin.

But I didn't snap like before, and my mother didn't refute it.

Just one glance at Uriah, and she was shaking her head disapprovingly. "You're losing weight again, Uriah. You haven't been eating well, have you?

"Your health is always more important than work, and it's not like your dad resigned yet."

Hearing that, I quietly hid my hand behind myself.

I was barely a few feet away from my mother, but she never noticed my limp or my bruised hand.

And yet, she immediately noticed that Uriah wasn't eating well.

On the other hand, Uriah smiled. "Right, I should be more disciplined since John has made enough trouble for you."

Mom glanced at me, looking like she had much to say but only sighed.

-

As my mom tried to get me to eat more at the dinner table, I tamely thanked her. However, she still sighed wryly.

But thankfully, she didn't lecture me, even giving me the debit card she and Dad had confiscated before.

"Look, John—we were so worried when you left, so we decided we won't be so strict with you. Your dad deposited more money in the card too."

My fingers clenched around the card for a moment, but I soon let go.

The card came back to me way too late.

Somehow, I could feel Uriah staring at me throughout, but when I looked up at him, he turned and smiled at Stella who sat beside him. "It's like you're only capable of getting better. I can't even be mad about losing to you at that auction."

Stella rolled her eyes, but pulled out a gift box and spoke with a milder tone than usual, "Here's your birthday present. Sorry I couldn't make it since I was on a business trip abroad."

"Oh, and I thought you're so busy you've forgotten," Uriah chuckled, and opened the box to reveal a dark-green wristwatch.

I paused, as I had seen it on a list of auctioned items.

Back then, I had taken a liking to it right away, but I didn't have an invitation to said auction event.

Stella had noticed me staring, and told me coolly then, "Don't cause trouble, and I'll buy it for your birthday."

But now, she was giving it to Uriah—even if she said nothing, I knew that it was my punishment.

Nonetheless, I excused myself politely from my table after eating my fill and left the table, only for Stella to confront me upstairs.