Neither of us said anything else in the quiet room.

When the phone beeps came through, I finally realized that the undertaker had hung up on me.

I smiled self-deprecatingly.

God must be pulling a really nasty joke on me.

He would not even let me die a peaceful death.

Since my plan to take my own life had been delayed, I used some gauze to wrap up my wounds so that I would not die too quickly.

Then, I opened WhatsApp in the hopes that I could get someone to collect my body.

But even when I scrolled through my contacts, I found that I had fewer than a hundred contacts, and half of them were just acquaintances I made so that we could bulk buy stuff at a lower price.

I went to Instagram and saw Lydia Marsh, my sister.

Then, I clicked on her Instagram profile.

I saw the pictures she uploaded there.

She got those when our family celebrated her birthday with her.

Everyone was smiling happily.

I did not dare like the post, because that would make me look like a neglected child who was peeking at love and happiness that did not belong to me.

Honestly, I chose to die today because it was my birthday today as well.

I was born only a few hours apart from Lydia.

Since we were children, my family only ever seemed to remember her birthday, but never mine.

But that was no longer important.

I was finally fulfilling their wish.

They just needed to collect my body.

I would never show my face in front of them anymore.

I went back to WhatsApp and tapped on our family group chat.

I tentatively keyed in a few words.

Maria: Um… If anyone sees this message, please come to 304, Unit 1, Garden Road to help pick up my body.

I stared at the screen as I thought, “Perhaps they would think I’m pitiful and would help pick up my body.”

But after waiting for a long time, all I got was my parents exiting the group chat.

I was then forced to become the admin of the group.

I refused to give up and asked one more time.

Maria: I’m begging you, please. If anyone sees this message, please answer.

Perhaps they got fed up with me, but someone finally replied. It was my younger brother, Jake Marsh.

Jake: Could you stop?

Lydia chimed in as well.

Lydia: Maria, I’m sorry. I know that it’s your birthday today too. Please calm down. I’ll ask Dad, Mom, and our brothers to look for you.

Blake Marsh, my second brother, replied.

Blake: Ignore her. If she wants to die, so be it.

Those words made my blood run cold. My last hope was dashed.

I wiped away my tears and exited the group chat.

Just when I wanted to turn my phone off, I received a call from Aaron Marsh, my eldest brother.

I answered it in a daze and was immediately greeted with Aaron’s enraged voice.

“Could you stop? Hurry up and delete the messages in the group chat. Don’t you know it’s Lydia’s birthday today? Why are you saying you want to take your own life at this point in time? Whose day are you trying to ruin now?!”

He poured out a torrent of verbal abuse at me, and my heart hurt so much that I could not breathe.

But I forced myself to be calm and said, “Okay, I’ll do it now.”

I went to the group chat and started deleting all of the messages I sent.

Halfway through, I received a notification.

Blake, Aaron, and Jake had left the group chat.

Lydia was the only one left.

As if she was boasting, she took pictures of her birthday presents.

Lydia: Do you want them, Maria? Since I already have so many presents, why don’t I give them to you? You won’t scoff at them, right? All that I have is yours, anyway. We’re a family, after all.

As I looked through the photos, I knew that she was doing this on purpose.

In the past, I would definitely argue about it with her.

Then, she would tell on me to our mother.

But I no longer cared.

I deleted the group chat and slumped down on the floor.

Since I had lost too much blood, my reflection in the mirror looked eerily pale.

I curled up in a dark corner and hugged myself tightly.

At the very end of my end, I came to one realization: I did not have a home.

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I was also a part of the family, but at some point in time, I was considered an outsider.

When we were children, Lydia accidentally fell into a pool and hurt herself, but Garcia Marsh, my mother, blamed me for it.

She asked me why I did not save Lydia and thought that I was a conniving person. She accused me of being jealous of Lydia and wanting to hurt her.

Hence, to protect Lydia, the entire family decided to send me to a boarding school, and I could only return home once a year.

They did it in the name of discipline.

I was trapped in the boarding school for eight years, but Lydia stayed with the family.

Every time Lydia celebrated her birthday, the family organized a fireworks show that spelled her name in the air.

And on my own birthday, I would stand on the roof of the tallest building in the school and stare at the beautiful fireworks before looking down.

Sometimes, I wondered whether they would remember me after I died.

But whenever I had the urge to do it, I would remember my mother and brothers.

I would then think that they would perhaps come to pick me up the next day because they had misunderstood me.

As long as I explained myself, they would come to love me again.

After all, I was also part of the family.

I had imagined meeting them again countless times, but even until the boarding school shut down, they did not come to see me.

I was brought back to the family after the school shut down.

Then, I hid the injuries I sustained from school and pretended to be a sensible child to get into the good graces of the family, only for them to think that I had some sort of ulterior motives.

Once, Lydia was hospitalized due to food poisoning, but they thought that I was competing for the family’s love with Lydia and made her eat unhygienic food.

Enraged, Aaron locked me up in the basement.

No matter how I cried and explained myself, no one listened to me.

They waited in the hospital for Lydia to be discharged, and only after they brought her back did they remember that I was locked in the basement.

By then, I had not eaten for three days and was almost dead.

After I was brought back from school, I became weaker.

Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night because my stomach hurt too much.

I tried going to my mother for help, but they only said that I was being stubborn and refused to change their ways.

So, I left the house, and even to this point of time, I still remembered what they said to me.

“Could you stop? Are you trying to put on a pitiful act again?”

“Sorry, but no one’s going to believe you.”

“If you want to die that badly, do it far away. None of us wants to collect your body!”

So, this time, I was really going to die and would stop being an eyesore to them. That was good too.

It was not as if I needed them as family.

I stared at the blood flowing out of my wrists and felt that it was going too slowly.

I climbed to the roof and stood at the edge.

As I stared at the tall buildings, I remembered how I was bullied by my classmates while I was in boarding school.

Whenever I had the urge to die, I would come to the roof of the school, but I never had the courage to jump.

I had been afraid of dying.

As long as a person could live, why would they want to die?

But I no longer had any need to fear.

My days were numbered, anyway, so I might as well just die.

It was just a pity that no one would come and collect my corpse.

I just wondered whether a person who was not given a proper burial would be able to rest in peace.

I sucked in a deep breath and shut my eyes.

Just when I was about to climb over, my phone rang from my handbag.

I opened my eyes and answered it.

“Hello?”

On the other end of the phone, the undertaker sighed in relief when he heard my voice.

“Where are you? I’m lost.”

I said nothing.

The wind at the balcony blew loudly.

My silence seemed to have clued the undertaker in on something because his voice quivered when he spoke again. “Hey, listen. I was in a hurry just now, so I didn’t grab anything to help give you a proper burial. I can’t come to collect your body.”

The wind was really strong, and no one was in sight.

But for some reason, when someone spoke to me in such a quiet environment, I felt a sense of security.

Because it had been a long time since anyone spoke to me this way.

But I did not want to trouble him any further.

I said, “You don’t have to come collect my body anymore.”

CHAPTER-NAME:

All I needed to do was jump down from here. The police would find my body tomorrow.

The only pity would be that my body would be mangled.

But that was still better than me having to suffer through life.

Still, the undertaker panicked after hearing what I said, and his voice quivered even more, “Maria, old people say that if you’re not given a proper burial, you won’t be able to rest in peace, remember? Do you really want to suffer even after death?”

Being unable to rest in peace was not as scary as living, honestly.

“Are you listening?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and sat on the parapet. Cheekily, I decided to scare him a little. “You’re delaying my plans to die.”

The undertaker was silent for a moment.

Then, I heard him running even more hurriedly before I heard a loud shout.

“I never owe anyone anything! Since I took your money, I’m going to be responsible for giving you a proper burial! I don’t want to owe a ghost a favor!”

Just as I was wondering why he sounded like he was so close by, I turned around and saw a man in an ironed white shirt standing at the door to the roof. His hair was a mess, and his face was covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

He had his hands placed on his hips as he stared at me. Then, he reached out to me.

“Please, come back. No matter what you want to do, I’ll do it with you.”

I sat on the parapet quietly.

His voice was still coming through my phone, as if it served as a reminder to me that there was still someone in the world who cared about me.

“Maria, you’re not as horrible as you think you are.” I thought, and for some reason I could not quite understand myself, I reached out.

In the next second, the undertaker grabbed me and pulled me down. Both of us fell on the roof.

My head rammed against his chest, and I heard him grunt.

Feeling apologetic, I wanted to say something, but he laughed.

“Thank goodness…”

He arrived on time.

Both of us lay on the roof while exhausted.

Liam Xavier, the undertaker, brushed against the blood on my wrists, and he stilled.

But he was not disgusted by it. He just helped me bandage it.

“I’ll bring you to the hospital.”

I told him there was no need for that. I had no more money left.

My family had already frozen my bank account, and I spent the rest of my money to hire him.

Liam patted my head and said gently, “You don’t need to spend a single cent.”

He was worried that I was still suicidal, so while on our way down, he held my hand tightly.

I asked, “Does this mean you’ll collect my body?”

Liam froze but did not turn his head around.

Still, I heard him say, “I will, but I won’t collect the body of a living person, so please… do your best to live on.”

In the end, I still went to the hospital with Liam.

There was no other reason for it, really. It was simply because he was the only one who reached out to me when everyone else wanted me dead.

He did not want me to die.

I was actually quite a subtle person. I would remember all those who treated me kindly forever.

And since Liam was so kind, I did not quite want to die anymore.

When we arrived at the hospital, it was much quieter and not as crowded as it usually was during the day.

Liam asked me to sit down and wait for him, so I did.

After some time, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“Maria?”

At some point in time, Aaron had shown up behind me. He walked over with a stern face and in his long, white coat.

“It really is you. Did you delete the group chat? Do you have any idea how worried Lydia is? She heard about what you were planning to do and won’t even celebrate her birthday anymore. She just wants to find you.

“But to think you were hiding here… Is it because you think threatening suicide doesn’t work anymore?

“Or are you trying to cause trouble during your own sister’s birthday so that we will give you our attention?”

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