With Julian out of the house, I started to let loose in the apartment.

I turned the stereo up to full volume and opened a bottle of red wine I had been hiding for a long time.

Before, I never dared to be myself, always catering to Julian's preference for quiet.

But now, in the little time I had left, I was going to enjoy my own life.

Before heading to the hospice, I decided to organize this home I had lived in for ten years one last time.

Julian's chess manuals and trophies took up most of the space.

In the corner of the desk lay the half-written diary where I used to record our sweet moments together.

Thinking about why it was abandoned, I gave a bitter smile.

At the time, Julian was climbing the world rankings, training more than fifteen hours a day, leaving no time for me.

Since I had nothing better to do, I started keeping a diary to preserve our memories, writing down every anniversary, every small gesture of affection.

When I showed it to him, full of anticipation, secretly hoping he'd be touched by my efforts to commemorate our relationship.

He just flipped through a few pages and pushed it away coldly.

"Ava, I don't understand why you need to document every trivial moment."

"This kind of sentimental ritual is just a waste of time that could be spent on something productive., like helping me organize my match recordings."

I wanted to argue, to ask him why he would belittle me like that.

But seeing the disdain in his eyes, I couldn't speak.

After holding it in for a long time, a surge of jealousy I didn't know I had rose up in me, and I asked, "Would you say the same thing if Chloe had written it?"

His voice grew even colder, like an arctic wind.

"A game of intellect like chess is elegant and complex."

"She wouldn't waste her time on something so childish."

Yes, only I was so pathetic and childish. Thinking a love diary could move him.

After that, I never picked up the pen again.

So now, when my memory was failing me, I realized I had nothing left to help me remember more of the love we once shared.

Besides that, there was a lot more I needed to deal with.

The house was filled with traces of my life built around Julian.

His tournament schedule was stuck to the refrigerator.

His favorite Blue Mountain coffee beans sat on the coffee table.

The bookshelf was neatly lined with all the chess magazines I had subscribed to for him.

On the wall hung our only photo together, taken at an awards ceremony.

In that photo, Julian was looking at the camera, and I was looking at him.

Just like every single day for the past ten years.

I started throwing these things away, one by one.

The coffee beans went into the trash, the magazines into the recycling bin.

I even tore that photo in half.

I kept Julian's part and threw my own away.

The closet in the bedroom needed to be reorganized.

Most of my clothes were bought to suit Julian's occasions.

An elegant little black dress, suitable for award ceremonies.

A conservative suit, suitable for family gatherings.

And the simple jeans I wore at home, always ready to be at his beck and call.

Every piece of clothing told the story of how my life revolved around his.

Chloe was completely different from me.

She could discuss chess games with Julian, analyze strategies.

She sat in the VIP section at every important match.

The cameras always captured their intimate interactions.

In moments like that, I even had to admit they were a perfect match.

Intellectually matched, kindred spirits.

That seemed more like a real partnership.

After packing everything up, I dragged my suitcase to the door.

I took one last look back, then headed for the hospital.

As the car drove out of the complex, my phone started vibrating.

It was Julian's agent, a man named Leo.

[Ava, did you follow up on the Sports Illustrated interview for tomorrow?]

A message from Julian followed.

[Why is your phone off? My agent can't reach you.]

I didn't know how to tell him that by the time he returned, I would no longer be in this world.

My finger hovered over the text box for a long time before I replied.

[Did you forget? I'm at a health retreat.]

[The signal is bad.]

I thought he wouldn't press further. He was never interested in my whereabouts.

But to my surprise, Julian pressed.

[Which retreat? Where is it?]

He was finally willing to give me a little attention away from the chessboard.

But the car had already stopped at the hospital entrance. I didn't reply.

The hospice care wing here was in a separate building behind the main hospital.

Away from the chaos of the emergency room, it was as quiet as another world.

A nurse helped me with the admission process.

Her voice was gentle, as if she were afraid of disturbing something.

"Ms. Ava, your room is on the third floor. It has a nice view of the garden."

"Do you need me to notify any family?"

I shook my head. "There's no family to notify."

She nodded without asking any more questions.

The nurses here were very professional, accustomed to all kinds of goodbyes.

The room was cozier than I had imagined.

Pale blue wallpaper, soft lighting.

Outside the window, there was indeed a small garden, where a few cherry blossom trees were shedding their petals.

I had just changed into a hospital gown when my phone rang again.

A voicemail from Julian.

"Ava, I just passed by that coffee shop we used to go to."

His voice sounded relaxed, completely unaware of anything unusual.

"They have a new barista. Chloe says the new lattes are much better."

"She suggested we go try them when I get back."

But I still keenly heard Chloe's bright laughter in the background.

Even our shared memories now had a third person in them.

I turned off the voicemail and put the phone aside.

The night deepened, and the room was silent.

Only the distant hum of machinery could be heard.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I thought of the countless nights like this over the past ten years.

Julian in the study, researching chess games, while I lay in bed alone, waiting for him.

Sometimes he wouldn't come to bed until dawn.

I had long since grown used to being alone.

I don't know how much time passed. I was drifting off to sleep when Julian's call came.

The insistent ringing sounded especially harsh in the darkness.

I answered and heard his commanding tone.

"Ava, I need you to do me a favor."

"Chloe is going to be home late because of her pre-match preparations."

"I need you to go to her apartment right now and feed her cat."

I was stunned for a few seconds.

"Julian, I told you I'm not in New York."

"Then go back," his voice grew cold. "This is an emergency. I can't have Chloe's performance affected by this."

I thought of my severe allergy to cat fur.

Every time I was exposed, it triggered asthma and hives.

In my current physical condition, it could be fatal.

"Julian, you know I'm allergic to cats…"

"An allergy?" he cut me off impatiently. "Ava, don't make a big deal out of nothing."

"It's just feeding a cat. Can't you wear a mask?"

"This is to support my chess partner. Are you not even willing to do that much?"

My voice grew weaker. "I really can't…"

"Can't what? Are you that busy?" Julian's voice suddenly rose.

"Ava, for the last ten years, isn't the only thing you've cared about getting me to marry you?"

"And now that I ask you to do something productive, you make excuses?"

"How selfish can you be?"

I heard Chloe's voice in the background. "Julian, don't be like that with Ava…"

I leaned back against the hospital bed, listening to his accusations.

Tears of frustration streamed down my face.

For ten years, it was true that I had no life of my own, no career, no friends.

He was the entire center of my world.

But now, in one of the few moments I truly needed to think of myself, he finally said what was on his mind.

In his eyes, I was just a selfish, dramatic woman.

A burden who did nothing but chase a ring.

I wiped away a tear and let out a short, bitter laugh.

"You're right, Julian."

"I'm very busy."

"I'm busy dying."