~JADE~

The dance of shame was just as they called it. I'm not sure what I expected, given the name, but this truly was the dance of shame.

They didn't give me the liberty of a minute of rest, nor was I accorded the courtesy to get cleaned or even have my wounds treated. The open cuts on my back from the whip that hadn't healed yet trickled blood down my back, and the wound stung continuously as my sweat dripped into it.

They could've at least given me a few minutes with the pack doctor; a few healing herbs to cover my wounds would've helped, but none of that happened. I was dragged away from the platform where I was publicly flogged, branded, and jostled through the streets of the pack, half-naked. A few of the mated she-wolves in the pack rallied behind me, clapping as they sang the words of my shameful deeds and dishonour. The elders followed behind; Hunter, his family, and my family were in the crowd behind me. I could still faintly smell Hunter and the familiar scent of my family. 

Two guards flanked both my left and right sides-the same guards who brought me to the council hall for my trial-and kept their distance to avoid being struck by the rotten food and eggs thrown at me by the pack's unmated wolves. 

The guards led me through the few streets in the pack land. Almost every house had its doors open, and the pack members at home stepped out to witness the public humiliation of their defected Luna-to-be. Some of the she-wolves who were already mated joined the crowd behind me; others came out of their houses with rotten food, trash, and eggs, tossing them at me as they hurled insults and demeaning words at me all at the same time. 

Humiliation sank into my soul with every insult. I tried to fight off the tears, but no matter how much I deluded myself with the thought that I was strong enough to take it, in all honesty, I wasn't. Being able to face Hunter during the trial was one thing, and I was able to do that because I hated giving him the satisfaction of seeing me crumble. 

Even through the public whipping, I still held my head high and refused to crumble in his presence. I already gave him that satisfaction one too many times in the closed space of what was once our home, and I wouldn't give him such joy again. But hearing these vile words hurled at me, the spit and the rotten food being thrown at me like-once upon a time, these same people hadn't smiled at me, laughed with me, and even invited me into their homes because they wanted to be on the good side of their soon-to-be Luna. Those same people are the ones treating me like the dirtiest scum of the earth, and my mate, who should've been my shield, was more or less my number one public enemy. Even my family, who should've wrapped their arms around me and promised me that it would all be alright, are now ashamed to even be seen walking close to me. 

The guards poked me with a staff in their hand when they noticed I had stopped dancing, and my body moved again, with shame and crippling pain in my gut. My tears wouldn't 't stop even though I willed it, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief when I finally made it to the outskirts of the pack, just a few paces away from the pack border. 

"Jade Dimaano," The voice of the elder leading my doom, cut through the woeful singing of the women. Slowly, the sounds of their voices and clapping hands quieted. "Do you have anything to say for yourself or your family before Alpha Orion severs your pack bond?" He asked, sounding almost robotic and somewhat bored out of his mind. 

I craned my neck and let my gaze flicker through the crowd until it settled on my parents. Even if I did have something to say, my throat closed up, and my mouth failed to move as my parents did everything possible to avoid my eyes while they hung their heads low in shame. 

Arya was no longer standing beside them like I thought she was, and as I wondered where she had gone, my eyes landed on her. She stood close to Hunter, her body conveniently pressed into his side. She had her palm over her mouth while her body trembled slightly. I couldn't tell if she was crying because her eyes were dry as the desert, but anyone who looked at her would probably conclude that she was crying due to the little tremors in her body. But that was beside the point; it didn't matter if she was crying or not. One thing I noticed, which I painfully wished I hadn't, was that Hunter wasn't making any moves to remove her from his side or put any distance between their proximity. 

Was this it? 

I wasn't even gone yet and had already been replaced, just like that.

~JADE~

Levana whined softly as my thoughts reached her: 'We don't need them. We'll be fine.' My wolf grumbled, attempting to reassure me.

'They're casting us out like we never mattered. They treat us like we were never a part of this pack, as if we weren't family. How can we be fine, Lev? I am pregnant; we'll be alone in the woods with no one.' I reminded her, in case she's forgotten all about the pregnancy that I lied about.

'We will find help; we will find a new pack; the goddess knows we are innocent, and she'll never leave us stranded. She'll send help,' She replied with conviction, and I shook my head.

The goddess watched me all these years while I suffered under my aunt's brute force and did nothing. Shouldn't the goddess have predicted that my mate would discard me? Yet she still went ahead and made Hunter my mate. 'I have no faith in the goddess, Levana. I doubt if she even exists because all she ever did was watch me suffer; she never came to my aid, and I don't see her coming to my aid now.'

Levana whimpered at my response: 'Don't say such things about her; doubting her is. . .'

"Jade!" The elder's snappish voice snagged my attention away from Levana, cutting off whatever my wolf had to say.

I forced my eyes away from Hunter, ignoring the scowl on his face and the slight confusion in his gaze, and I settled my attention back on the elder. "Nothing. I have nothing to say."

"Very well, then." He nodded, briefly turning away from me. "Alpha Orion, if you would please step forward to complete the last phase of her punishment," The elder beckoned Hunter's dad.

Alpha Orion stared at the elder; his gaze slowly moved towards me, and then he turned to Hunter. "Hunter," he called his son, his voice hard and his face void of emotion. "Soon, you'll become the Head Alpha of this pack; there's no better way to fully understand what it takes to lead and protect your pack than this. The weight of casting out a pack member is as heavy as the weight of welcoming a new pack member because you can only trust your judgement that you aren't welcoming an enemy."

Alpha Orion paused; his sentence hung in the air like there was more to it. I watched Hunter's jaw tick, his hands clenched into a fist beside him, and he tried not to pull his brows together as his father continued. "Take this as one of the many lessons I've taught you about the responsibilities and duties of an Alpha who commits himself to his pack. Every decision you make as an Alpha count, either good or bad, mistake or not."

"You want me to..." Hunter's sentence dangled in the air as his voice pulled tight, and the question was clear even if he didn't complete his sentence; even the look on Alpha Orion's face showed the answer was clear.

He wanted Hunter to be the one who severed my bond with the pack; he wanted my mate to pull the final trigger and cast me out of my pack, my home.

Hunter nodded, stepping forward, and I followed mindlessly as the elder dragged me over the pack border. Like a robot, I followed his instructions as he asked me to place one foot outside the marked area of the pack border, while my other foot remained inside the pack territory.

"Give me your hand," Hunter demanded in a rough voice, and I stretched out my hand. I raised my head, and my eyes met his. He tried to bury his reaction quickly, but I caught it before he could wipe it off. I saw the way his brows bunched for a fleeting second. I saw the emotion flicker through his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

Hunter grabbed my wrist, gripping it tighter than necessary, and I bit back a whine as his claws broke the flesh and pierced through my skin.

The man who had promised to be my shield, to be my everything, held my gaze as he tapped into the pack link, searching for the one thread that bound me to this pack.

The elder recited some words while Hunter held still. My mind frayed, and a sense of emptiness rushed through me as my link to the pack snapped. My lips wobbled as the sudden rush of loneliness gripped my heart in a vice; the pressure and weight of it wrapped my heart in a painful squeeze as the last piece of connection I had with my family fractured.

Hunter let go of my wrist with a rushed breath and marched back to his position beside his family without a backward glance. I felt the touch of a hand nudging me, but I could barely see where it came from as tears clouded my vision, and I staggered backwards. Levana howled out; her agony ripped through my mind as I took the final step out of the pack territory, and a weight I couldn't describe settled on my soul.

Void.

A gaping hole opened in my heart and mind as I stumbled a few steps away from the pack, and my knees wobbled.

I barely paid attention to the last words of the elder; he talked about killing, being a rogue, and returning. I watched with an empty soul and a gaping heart as each pack member shook their head and turned, making their way back to their homes. Hunter moved; he turned away from me and stormed off with the dispersing crowd.

I should have turned around, left, and found my way out of these woods, but I couldn't, not at this moment, as I watched everyone, I once held dear to my heart turn their backs and walk away from me.

Alone.

I had never felt so alone, not even when I was far away in the Philippines with Aunt Diwa because even then, I still had a connection to the pack despite how faint it was due to the distance; it was still a constant reminder that I belonged somewhere, but now that feeling was gone only to be replaced with the intense feeling of forlornness, the glaring truth that I had lost everything.

~JADE~

*3 months later*

Twigs snapped under my bare feet as I walked, pushing aside the oddly shaped tree branches and shrubs in my pathway. A few days after being banished, I was self-conscious about so many things; being naked and alone, I felt emptiness as I wandered the pack border for two days, looking for the perfect time to sneak back in without getting caught.

I couldn't just roam the forest wearing only my underwear, but also because it was bloodied and had already started smelling on the second day. So late at night, when I knew the guards weren't as vigilant, I snuck in and went to the tree where I usually kept a change of clothes whenever Hunter and I went on our weekly run in the woods.

Being naked wasn't a big deal among our kind, so I didn't need to keep garments in the trees for when we went for a run, but Hunter had always been so territorial and had mentioned that he didn't want anyone seeing what belonged to him.

How ironic that was, because he was the same person who took me like an animal in the presence of my sister and her boyfriend without any finesse, and then dragged me out of their apartment while I was completely naked.

But I guess his obsession with having complete control over my body helped me in a way because I was able to retrieve the nightdress I had hidden in the trees just a few days before my life, as I had known it, plummeted to hell.

Sneaking out of the pack wasn't easy. I knew I was taking a considerable risk when I decided to return for the nightdress, but I was willing to take the chance. With my bond to the pack freshly severed, I knew Alpha Orion wouldn't have sensed my presence in the pack. I was at risk of being caught if any of the pack members decided to go for a run on that side of the woods.

Somehow, by sheer luck, I made it out of the pack without getting caught out, and even though it wasn't a bag full of clothes, the nightdress had helped hide my nakedness a great deal, but I had long given up on finding slippers to wear. Over time, I've gotten used to walking barefoot and ignoring how the dried fallen tree branches, twigs, and any object pricked the soles of my feet. There are far more dangerous things to worry about when you are alone and five months pregnant in no man's land.

There was a reason we were warned as kids never to wander out of pack territory; even as adults, it is never advisable unless a pack member is going into the human town, meaning they would take the safer routes that lead out of the pack. No man's land was a neutral territory, which meant anyone who wandered out was on their own to fend off whatever threat was out there. I was alone with no pack protection, and the only thing that had got me through so far out here was Levana's quick wit and her plan that we travel closer to the territory of the werewolf packs that were out here. Being closer to a pack meant there were fewer chances of us running into rogue wolves because most rogue wolves often strayed away from pack territories.

And that has kept us safe for the past three months that I have been wandering these woods, and I'm pretty sure I'm a long way from Bloodwood Pack. I honestly doubt if I would know my way back. I have contemplated finding my way out of this forest and going into the human town, but Levana said it would be worse for us out there.

Levana said it was more dangerous for us to be out there amongst the humans; I was a lone wolf, and the further we strayed away from anything that could still link us to werewolves alike, the faster Levana would lose her grip and her connection to me, which was her human side. And if that happens, she will go feral.

No one told me that was what happened to rogue wolves, and I had always wondered why they always seemed so detached from reality and would rather hunt and kill their kin instead of looking for a pack to take them in. During my time in Manila, I never encountered rogue wolves, despite living close to a pack. Aunt Diwa never allowed me the freedom to live freely, and Levana never had the chance to connect with nature or live true to herself as a wolf. We never went on runs, and I'd missed that so much.

The underground club Aunt Diwa had me and the other girls and boys working in belonged to an Alpha. Most of the clients were werewolves, and few humans knew about our kind. It was one of the reasons they were never gentle with me; they knew what I was, that I could heal faster than an average human. They were paying a lot to have me, so they were always rough. I never knew then that the reason Levana didn't become feral was that we still shared a pack bond with the Blackwood pack, so officially, I was still a member of the Blackwood pack, and also because the hostel Aunt Diwa had us in was close to a werewolf pack in Manila, the werewolf pack whose Alpha ran the underground nightclub.

So now that we no longer had any connection to the Blackwood pack, with my mate bond to Hunter gone and my link to the pack severed, it was just a matter of time before Levana became feral, and our only saving grace right now was that we were still somehow close to pack lands. Even though we had no connection to the packs, Levana said the presence of kindred spirits and the familiarity were enough to keep her still tethered to humanity, tethered to her human side, which was me. Hence, I had written off the idea of finding my way out of these woods and into the human town.

I thought that would be a better option than roaming the woods. I didn't have any means of identification, and I knew I had no money for accommodation. Still, perhaps I could've found a job somehow, maybe an offer to help people do their laundry, just something to keep me fed and help me get by until I could afford a small unit. But then again, Levana said we would be in danger of predatory, unmated wolves who visited the human towns, and once they saw the mark on my neck, they'd know I had no protection and would probably take advantage of me. So not only would she be at risk of going feral, but I wouldn't be safe as a lone wolf.

I thought there was nothing worse than what I had experienced while living with Aunt Diwa, but this was worse. Twice, I had gotten my hopes up; twice, I had stumbled upon members of the packs within the territory I had journeyed through; twice, I had asked for their help. I asked for a place to stay and asked them to give me a chance in their pack, and both times, I was turned away and treated worse than vermin. They had taken one look at me, seen the branded mark on my neck, and shunned me without even trying to know my story.

Levana thinks we just have to keep trying, and maybe someday, perhaps before I give birth, someone will take pity on us and take us in. I am five months along already, but I honestly do not have any hope that my fate will change for the better in the next four months. That's what dreams were made of, and I have already learned that dreams aren't for me.

'I don't think I'll find any more fruits out here, but this should be enough for the next few days,' I said, checking the berries and the mangoes I had managed to pick as I wandered about.

'If it doesn't rain tonight, I'll hunt for meat; maybe pick up some dry twigs and branches to make a fire later.' She suggested, and I nodded, squatting down to set the torn-up sack on the ground so I could adequately tie it to prevent the fruits from spilling.

'Do you still think it would rain?' I asked once I had the sack tied and secure enough that my food wouldn't be spilling out for the next few days.

Levana mentally sniffed the air before saying, 'It smells like it; there's the crispy, pungent smell in the air every time the wind picks up. It might rain early tomorrow morning if it doesn't rain soon.'

'Then it would be wise to hunt for meat when we return.' I continued towards the path that led back to the temporary den Levana had made just a few days ago after we got farther up this way.

'Jade,' Levana called in a jarring voice that had me halting my steps.

'What is it?'

I could feel the tension rolling off her in waves, streaming through me. 'Let me out.' She replied, and I did without another question, giving up my control to her as she pushed to the surface.

She sniffed the air, this time able to do it properly, and a low whine rose in her throat. 'Rogues... There are a few of them,' she whined, her distress signal spiking up as did mine.

'Shift.' Without waiting for me to repeat the words, Levana dropped the sack of fruits, shifting in the process.

'Fuck, they're coming.' Levana cursed just as their threatening howls and paws hit my ears, and Levana sprinted between the trees.

'We can't go back to the den. We need to leave this area.' She growled as the sound of the rogues got dangerously close behind us, and my wolf increased her speed.

The sack of fruit was long forgotten as Levana leapt over logs and bent tree trunks as she dashed through the forest. There goes my food for the next few days.