~JADE~

The whip whistled through the air as it came down on me, cutting through my skin effortlessly with a bitter sting that only became harsher with each lash. I had to stop counting somewhere along the way, unable to focus on anything else aside from the fiery-hot pain that seared through my body with every merciless stroke of the whip. 

My vision blurred with welled-up tears; despite the tears raining down my cheeks, more water welled in my eyes, and it wouldn't stop pouring. All my attempts to simply dissociate from this very moment seemed futile. All I could think and feel was pain in my back, my arm, and every part of my skin that the whip lashed. Despite my tears, the only satisfaction I didn't give Hunter or the audience gathered around was my cries. 

I bit back every moan, swallowing around every choked sound of anguish that threatened to spill out of me. My body flamed in agony, and each blow from the whip propelled my frame forward. The stench of blood filled the air, and the open wounds on my skin only hurt more as my sweat seeped through the fresh cuts. Still, I clamped my lips shut, refusing to let out the cries of horror that rumbled through my chest. My knees quaked as the whip landed on my left shoulder, and my body jerked forward, a subconscious attempt to escape the onslaught of pain. 

The tears in my eyes created a thick fog over my vision, and I wished so badly that the fog would take over my mind so that it could numb my body from this pain. Another failed attempt to pull my mind away from this moment. Try hard as I may; it just wouldn't happen, and I cursed the stars because such pain as this wasn't new to me.

Aunt Diwa might not have hit me with whips, but that doesn't mean she never hit me with any available object. Inflicting pain on me was her way of reminding me who owned my body. In the early years, when she started hitting me, I would cry, become hysterical, and plead for her to stop, but over time, I became used to the pain. My body always welcomed the stinging bite that came from her cutting me up with silver blades. It became easier to dissociate and numb my mind to the pain. 

Closing my eyes and ignoring the pain came so easily to me, and I would let go. Each time she hit me, cut me, or hurt me, I would feel myself leave my body as I let go and watched from the outside, and doing that meant I could daydream about a better place. Closing my eyes and numbing out the pain meant I could envision myself with a better future-a future that didn't include Aunt Diwa. It was a future where I had succeeded and escaped her abuse, and that made welcoming the pain easier. Because welcoming the pain she inflicted meant I could dream of a day where I would find love, and sometimes I craved the pain. Perhaps other times I acted out or rebelled just so she could hurt me, because only then was I able to dream of a life without pain; only then could I dream of a life where I was treated better and someone else cherished me. By some miracle I ended up having that life for two years only to have it ripped away from me overnight. 

And right now, in this moment, it was impossible to numb the pain because there was nothing to daydream about, no future where I could wish for a better life because this was my better life. Being back in this pack was my better place; being mated to Hunter and experiencing his love for two years was the better life I had always wished for, but now that better life has served me unimaginable pain, one I couldn't pull myself from because there is no hope, and nothing good succeeds this. 

'Let me.' Levana requested, pushing through my mental walls.

'You should protect the baby; this will pass soon.' I replied, shaking my head at her request. 

'The baby is fine; you're not doing fine. I won't be able to do much for the baby if you end up collapsing from the pain. Let me take over; I can handle the pain better, and when this is over, you can take back control.' she suggested again. 

'Being on the surface will also help me heal your wounds faster; the faster the fresh wounds on your body close up, the lesser the risk of getting infected.' Levana added, and I gave up the argument as I let her take over. A sigh of relief pushed past my lips as Levana moved to the surface, and the pain radiating through my body almost became a distant memory. 

With my wolf on the surface, the remaining part of the ordeal went by quickly. One of the guards dragged Levana upright, and she winced. If the elder noticed that my wolf was now present from the change in my eye colour, he didn't say a word. The elder addressed the crowd; for the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on whatever he was saying. 

I watched from the back seat of my mind as the elder walked down the platform's steps, moving with fluid ease to the fireplace made out of a stack of river rocks. He picked up a branding rod with a flat surface made of silver, pulling it out from the fire. The flat front of the branding rod glowed with a red, fiery heat as he held it up. 

Fear racked through my entire body as the elder began moving, and he continued up the steps leading to the platform, stopping beside me. 

"This is a lesson and a warning to anyone who ever harbours the thought of tainting their mate bond; know that you will meet the same fate as Jade Dimaano." He muttered before turning to face me. 

My mind rioted violently as the hot rod stood inches away from my face. The instinct to fight against this slammed into me, and I almost fought Levana for control. 'Don't panic. I've got this; just pretend like this isn't happening. I'll take the pain; I can handle it.' Levana reassured me, pushing back against my fight for control, and I eased back. 

The elder waved the rod around in our faces as he continued to address the crowd for another minute, and I tuned most of it out as I tried to fight back the fear that enveloped my entire soul. The heat from the fiery rod inches away from my face nicked at my cheeks, an obvious testament to what was about to happen. 

Without a sign of remorse or hesitation, the elder placed the hot silver rod directly above Hunter's mark that stood between my shoulder and my neck, and he pressed it harshly into my skin. "This is the evidence of your sins, a reminder of your actions, and you will live the rest of your days as a reject, knowing you are unwanted and unworthy of love." 

My body exploded with a throbbing ache equivalent to the feeling of a million hot nails digging into me and burning through my flesh. Levana bit my lower lip as the rod slid deeper into my skin, causing my entire body to shake. A coppery and steaky smell of meat turned over, the flames of a grill filled the air, and nausea hit me. 

"Untie her and get her ready for her dance of shame." The elder instructed with a grating voice as he pulled the rod away from my skin and stepped back. 

Levana wobbled as the guards tried to stand us upright once more. Despite her taking most of the pain, I still felt an enormous amount of it, and it was mind-breaking. The guards more or less dragged us down the platform's steps, and Levana turned to face Hunter. 

"Now you can be with your perfect Arya," Levana murmured with wobbly lips before the guards dragged us through the throng of pack members.

~JADE~

The dance of shame was just as they called it. I'm not sure what I expected, given the name, but this truly was the dance of shame.

They didn't give me the liberty of a minute of rest, nor was I accorded the courtesy to get cleaned or even have my wounds treated. The open cuts on my back from the whip that hadn't healed yet trickled blood down my back, and the wound stung continuously as my sweat dripped into it.

They could've at least given me a few minutes with the pack doctor; a few healing herbs to cover my wounds would've helped, but none of that happened. I was dragged away from the platform where I was publicly flogged, branded, and jostled through the streets of the pack, half-naked. A few of the mated she-wolves in the pack rallied behind me, clapping as they sang the words of my shameful deeds and dishonour. The elders followed behind; Hunter, his family, and my family were in the crowd behind me. I could still faintly smell Hunter and the familiar scent of my family. 

Two guards flanked both my left and right sides-the same guards who brought me to the council hall for my trial-and kept their distance to avoid being struck by the rotten food and eggs thrown at me by the pack's unmated wolves. 

The guards led me through the few streets in the pack land. Almost every house had its doors open, and the pack members at home stepped out to witness the public humiliation of their defected Luna-to-be. Some of the she-wolves who were already mated joined the crowd behind me; others came out of their houses with rotten food, trash, and eggs, tossing them at me as they hurled insults and demeaning words at me all at the same time. 

Humiliation sank into my soul with every insult. I tried to fight off the tears, but no matter how much I deluded myself with the thought that I was strong enough to take it, in all honesty, I wasn't. Being able to face Hunter during the trial was one thing, and I was able to do that because I hated giving him the satisfaction of seeing me crumble. 

Even through the public whipping, I still held my head high and refused to crumble in his presence. I already gave him that satisfaction one too many times in the closed space of what was once our home, and I wouldn't give him such joy again. But hearing these vile words hurled at me, the spit and the rotten food being thrown at me like-once upon a time, these same people hadn't smiled at me, laughed with me, and even invited me into their homes because they wanted to be on the good side of their soon-to-be Luna. Those same people are the ones treating me like the dirtiest scum of the earth, and my mate, who should've been my shield, was more or less my number one public enemy. Even my family, who should've wrapped their arms around me and promised me that it would all be alright, are now ashamed to even be seen walking close to me. 

The guards poked me with a staff in their hand when they noticed I had stopped dancing, and my body moved again, with shame and crippling pain in my gut. My tears wouldn't 't stop even though I willed it, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief when I finally made it to the outskirts of the pack, just a few paces away from the pack border. 

"Jade Dimaano," The voice of the elder leading my doom, cut through the woeful singing of the women. Slowly, the sounds of their voices and clapping hands quieted. "Do you have anything to say for yourself or your family before Alpha Orion severs your pack bond?" He asked, sounding almost robotic and somewhat bored out of his mind. 

I craned my neck and let my gaze flicker through the crowd until it settled on my parents. Even if I did have something to say, my throat closed up, and my mouth failed to move as my parents did everything possible to avoid my eyes while they hung their heads low in shame. 

Arya was no longer standing beside them like I thought she was, and as I wondered where she had gone, my eyes landed on her. She stood close to Hunter, her body conveniently pressed into his side. She had her palm over her mouth while her body trembled slightly. I couldn't tell if she was crying because her eyes were dry as the desert, but anyone who looked at her would probably conclude that she was crying due to the little tremors in her body. But that was beside the point; it didn't matter if she was crying or not. One thing I noticed, which I painfully wished I hadn't, was that Hunter wasn't making any moves to remove her from his side or put any distance between their proximity. 

Was this it? 

I wasn't even gone yet and had already been replaced, just like that.

~JADE~

Levana whined softly as my thoughts reached her: 'We don't need them. We'll be fine.' My wolf grumbled, attempting to reassure me.

'They're casting us out like we never mattered. They treat us like we were never a part of this pack, as if we weren't family. How can we be fine, Lev? I am pregnant; we'll be alone in the woods with no one.' I reminded her, in case she's forgotten all about the pregnancy that I lied about.

'We will find help; we will find a new pack; the goddess knows we are innocent, and she'll never leave us stranded. She'll send help,' She replied with conviction, and I shook my head.

The goddess watched me all these years while I suffered under my aunt's brute force and did nothing. Shouldn't the goddess have predicted that my mate would discard me? Yet she still went ahead and made Hunter my mate. 'I have no faith in the goddess, Levana. I doubt if she even exists because all she ever did was watch me suffer; she never came to my aid, and I don't see her coming to my aid now.'

Levana whimpered at my response: 'Don't say such things about her; doubting her is. . .'

"Jade!" The elder's snappish voice snagged my attention away from Levana, cutting off whatever my wolf had to say.

I forced my eyes away from Hunter, ignoring the scowl on his face and the slight confusion in his gaze, and I settled my attention back on the elder. "Nothing. I have nothing to say."

"Very well, then." He nodded, briefly turning away from me. "Alpha Orion, if you would please step forward to complete the last phase of her punishment," The elder beckoned Hunter's dad.

Alpha Orion stared at the elder; his gaze slowly moved towards me, and then he turned to Hunter. "Hunter," he called his son, his voice hard and his face void of emotion. "Soon, you'll become the Head Alpha of this pack; there's no better way to fully understand what it takes to lead and protect your pack than this. The weight of casting out a pack member is as heavy as the weight of welcoming a new pack member because you can only trust your judgement that you aren't welcoming an enemy."

Alpha Orion paused; his sentence hung in the air like there was more to it. I watched Hunter's jaw tick, his hands clenched into a fist beside him, and he tried not to pull his brows together as his father continued. "Take this as one of the many lessons I've taught you about the responsibilities and duties of an Alpha who commits himself to his pack. Every decision you make as an Alpha count, either good or bad, mistake or not."

"You want me to..." Hunter's sentence dangled in the air as his voice pulled tight, and the question was clear even if he didn't complete his sentence; even the look on Alpha Orion's face showed the answer was clear.

He wanted Hunter to be the one who severed my bond with the pack; he wanted my mate to pull the final trigger and cast me out of my pack, my home.

Hunter nodded, stepping forward, and I followed mindlessly as the elder dragged me over the pack border. Like a robot, I followed his instructions as he asked me to place one foot outside the marked area of the pack border, while my other foot remained inside the pack territory.

"Give me your hand," Hunter demanded in a rough voice, and I stretched out my hand. I raised my head, and my eyes met his. He tried to bury his reaction quickly, but I caught it before he could wipe it off. I saw the way his brows bunched for a fleeting second. I saw the emotion flicker through his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

Hunter grabbed my wrist, gripping it tighter than necessary, and I bit back a whine as his claws broke the flesh and pierced through my skin.

The man who had promised to be my shield, to be my everything, held my gaze as he tapped into the pack link, searching for the one thread that bound me to this pack.

The elder recited some words while Hunter held still. My mind frayed, and a sense of emptiness rushed through me as my link to the pack snapped. My lips wobbled as the sudden rush of loneliness gripped my heart in a vice; the pressure and weight of it wrapped my heart in a painful squeeze as the last piece of connection I had with my family fractured.

Hunter let go of my wrist with a rushed breath and marched back to his position beside his family without a backward glance. I felt the touch of a hand nudging me, but I could barely see where it came from as tears clouded my vision, and I staggered backwards. Levana howled out; her agony ripped through my mind as I took the final step out of the pack territory, and a weight I couldn't describe settled on my soul.

Void.

A gaping hole opened in my heart and mind as I stumbled a few steps away from the pack, and my knees wobbled.

I barely paid attention to the last words of the elder; he talked about killing, being a rogue, and returning. I watched with an empty soul and a gaping heart as each pack member shook their head and turned, making their way back to their homes. Hunter moved; he turned away from me and stormed off with the dispersing crowd.

I should have turned around, left, and found my way out of these woods, but I couldn't, not at this moment, as I watched everyone, I once held dear to my heart turn their backs and walk away from me.

Alone.

I had never felt so alone, not even when I was far away in the Philippines with Aunt Diwa because even then, I still had a connection to the pack despite how faint it was due to the distance; it was still a constant reminder that I belonged somewhere, but now that feeling was gone only to be replaced with the intense feeling of forlornness, the glaring truth that I had lost everything.