~JADE~

Did I make the right choice when I answered that Hunter wasn't the father of the child I was carrying? It may not have been the right thing to do given the kind of mess I was in already, but their shocked expressions were more than enough satisfaction for me at that moment. 

Hunter and Alpha Orion were the ones who looked the most shocked by my response. I guess Hunter probably expected me to insist the child was his and use that as an excuse to hold onto him and beg for mercy, but I was done with begging him to see me and to hear me after I accepted his rejection. He didn't even believe me these past few days when I had been trying to tell him that I was carrying his child, and suddenly he was shocked that I was not clinging onto him.

What was there to cling onto in the first place? 

The shocked expression on their faces didn't last long and quickly turned into disgust as soon as the meaning of my words had settled in. Hunter had snarled to show his disgust, and his parents shook their heads. Although I could've sworn Alpha Orion was the only one who wasn't relatively disgusted with my revelation, I couldn't tell why. 

Everything after that revelation moved in a blur; the elders didn't waste another breath as they announced my verdict, and it was impossible to miss the malice in their voice when they declared me guilty of infidelity and treachery. According to them, the fact that I was pregnant with the child of another man was more or less a plot against my mate and his position as Head Alpha.

Hunter's mother had hissed and said I may as well have driven a sword through his heart and killed him. Although I would never harm him in that way, I wanted him to endure the same pain I did when he rejected me and each time he went to bed with someone else. Yet aside from the brief moment of shock that flickered across his face and the abrupt flinch, his face remained impassive and his eyes cold as the elders passed their verdict. 

"It is no news that we do not tolerate any act of perfidy, unchastity, or treachery in this pack. Our fathers before us and those before them condemned such, as did those who committed these taboos." The elder who had led my trail declared as he mounted the platform that I was made to kneel on.

Pack members gathered before the platform. I guess words do travel fast in the pack because it was only a few minutes ago when the guards led me out of the council hall to the back of the building where the platform stood. 

"Pack traditions are made to be honoured, and pack laws are implemented for a reason. One of which is so we can lead a virtuous life; another is so we can command respect amongst others; and the most important is so that we can always have the goddess on our side and her blessings upon us as we honour her name through her just actions. We cannot accomplish any of these things if we tolerate abomination and those who commit vile acts." 

The elder moved up and down the platform as he addressed the growing crowd. He paused for a moment, his eyes scanning the faces of his audience, and then he climbed up the steps, coming to a stop beside me. "Before you, is Jade Dimaano! As you all know, she's beta-mated to your Alpha Heir, Hunter Hendrix. Your luna-to-be has been tried and found guilty of infidelity." The elder voices, pausing for a moment to allow the words to sink in with the crowd, I couldn't tell if their shocked gasps were genuine or if they were only appalled by the sight of me and my misdeeds. 

Once the murmur within the pack members died down, the elder continued. "She has also been charged with perfidy, for she carries the bastard child of another wolf. A Luna who bears the child of another wolf who isn't her Alpha is no different from a greedy man who seeks to kill the Alpha of his pack and unseats him." 

The murmurs grew louder as he continued to decree my crimes and how heinous my actions were. The voices of the pack members rose above his own, and some of their words were no longer a whisper as they hurled insults and demeaning words at me. 

Despite my attempt to pretend like their opinions didn't matter or that I wasn't affected, I couldn't because their words jabbed at me like a pack of needles, pricking my skin harshly in a vicious attempt to draw blood.

"Such action is punishable by death." The elder in charge continued. "However, Alpha Orion, in his good nature, pleaded that we spare her life. Jade Dimaano will not be getting a death sentence, but this doesn't mean she won't be punished for her crimes." My gaze shifted to Alpha Orion, who stood at the left side of the platform with his Luna and Hunter.

Various questions fleeted through my thoughts at the revelation that he had pleaded on my behalf. Why would he do that? If I am being condemned for something as serious as treason, an accusation that my actions were a threat to his son's life, why would he ask that I be shown mercy? 

His gaze met mine, but his eyes betrayed nothing, and no matter how hard I stared at him, I couldn't decipher his reasons for begging the elders on my behalf. Unlike his son, did he believe me? But if he did, why isn't he trying to talk some sense into his son, or at least why hadn't he tried to prevent this trial from happening? 

The voice of the elder grabbed my attention once more, dragging my gaze from Alpha Orion back to the elder as he came to stand in front of me. "For her crimes, Jade would be flogged with seventy-four lashes for the sin of infidelity, after which she would be branded as an unworthy mate." The elder turned to me with a sneer on his face, and his lips curled in a grimace. "And you will bear the mark of your sins for the rest of your life, for any wolf who stumbles upon you will see and know how greatly you wronged your mate and defiled the sacred ties of your mate bond. Your sins will follow you wherever you go." 

The elder turned his back to me as he addressed the crowd. "This is a lesson to you all, whether you are mated or unmated, a reminder to you that the mate bond is sacred, a gift from the moon goddess, one that should never be taken for granted or defiled. Anyone who defiles the sacred gift of the goddess will be punished and degraded as deserved. Jade Dimaano will perform the Dance of shame around the pack after her lashings, and then she will be forever banished from these pack lands." 

I sucked in a sharp breath at his declaration, "If you go against this verdict and ever set foot on this pack land, you will be treated as a lowly rogue and killed upon sight." 

My gaze danced around and settled on Hunter; something had shifted in his eyes between the time of my trial and now. A lone tear slid down my face as I held his gaze in a silent question. 'Is this what you wanted?' I asked mentally, even though I knew he couldn't hear me now that our link had been severed. 'I hope you are happy.' I added, wincing in pain and folding forward as the first lash of the whip hit my back.

~JADE~

The whip whistled through the air as it came down on me, cutting through my skin effortlessly with a bitter sting that only became harsher with each lash. I had to stop counting somewhere along the way, unable to focus on anything else aside from the fiery-hot pain that seared through my body with every merciless stroke of the whip. 

My vision blurred with welled-up tears; despite the tears raining down my cheeks, more water welled in my eyes, and it wouldn't stop pouring. All my attempts to simply dissociate from this very moment seemed futile. All I could think and feel was pain in my back, my arm, and every part of my skin that the whip lashed. Despite my tears, the only satisfaction I didn't give Hunter or the audience gathered around was my cries. 

I bit back every moan, swallowing around every choked sound of anguish that threatened to spill out of me. My body flamed in agony, and each blow from the whip propelled my frame forward. The stench of blood filled the air, and the open wounds on my skin only hurt more as my sweat seeped through the fresh cuts. Still, I clamped my lips shut, refusing to let out the cries of horror that rumbled through my chest. My knees quaked as the whip landed on my left shoulder, and my body jerked forward, a subconscious attempt to escape the onslaught of pain. 

The tears in my eyes created a thick fog over my vision, and I wished so badly that the fog would take over my mind so that it could numb my body from this pain. Another failed attempt to pull my mind away from this moment. Try hard as I may; it just wouldn't happen, and I cursed the stars because such pain as this wasn't new to me.

Aunt Diwa might not have hit me with whips, but that doesn't mean she never hit me with any available object. Inflicting pain on me was her way of reminding me who owned my body. In the early years, when she started hitting me, I would cry, become hysterical, and plead for her to stop, but over time, I became used to the pain. My body always welcomed the stinging bite that came from her cutting me up with silver blades. It became easier to dissociate and numb my mind to the pain. 

Closing my eyes and ignoring the pain came so easily to me, and I would let go. Each time she hit me, cut me, or hurt me, I would feel myself leave my body as I let go and watched from the outside, and doing that meant I could daydream about a better place. Closing my eyes and numbing out the pain meant I could envision myself with a better future-a future that didn't include Aunt Diwa. It was a future where I had succeeded and escaped her abuse, and that made welcoming the pain easier. Because welcoming the pain she inflicted meant I could dream of a day where I would find love, and sometimes I craved the pain. Perhaps other times I acted out or rebelled just so she could hurt me, because only then was I able to dream of a life without pain; only then could I dream of a life where I was treated better and someone else cherished me. By some miracle I ended up having that life for two years only to have it ripped away from me overnight. 

And right now, in this moment, it was impossible to numb the pain because there was nothing to daydream about, no future where I could wish for a better life because this was my better life. Being back in this pack was my better place; being mated to Hunter and experiencing his love for two years was the better life I had always wished for, but now that better life has served me unimaginable pain, one I couldn't pull myself from because there is no hope, and nothing good succeeds this. 

'Let me.' Levana requested, pushing through my mental walls.

'You should protect the baby; this will pass soon.' I replied, shaking my head at her request. 

'The baby is fine; you're not doing fine. I won't be able to do much for the baby if you end up collapsing from the pain. Let me take over; I can handle the pain better, and when this is over, you can take back control.' she suggested again. 

'Being on the surface will also help me heal your wounds faster; the faster the fresh wounds on your body close up, the lesser the risk of getting infected.' Levana added, and I gave up the argument as I let her take over. A sigh of relief pushed past my lips as Levana moved to the surface, and the pain radiating through my body almost became a distant memory. 

With my wolf on the surface, the remaining part of the ordeal went by quickly. One of the guards dragged Levana upright, and she winced. If the elder noticed that my wolf was now present from the change in my eye colour, he didn't say a word. The elder addressed the crowd; for the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on whatever he was saying. 

I watched from the back seat of my mind as the elder walked down the platform's steps, moving with fluid ease to the fireplace made out of a stack of river rocks. He picked up a branding rod with a flat surface made of silver, pulling it out from the fire. The flat front of the branding rod glowed with a red, fiery heat as he held it up. 

Fear racked through my entire body as the elder began moving, and he continued up the steps leading to the platform, stopping beside me. 

"This is a lesson and a warning to anyone who ever harbours the thought of tainting their mate bond; know that you will meet the same fate as Jade Dimaano." He muttered before turning to face me. 

My mind rioted violently as the hot rod stood inches away from my face. The instinct to fight against this slammed into me, and I almost fought Levana for control. 'Don't panic. I've got this; just pretend like this isn't happening. I'll take the pain; I can handle it.' Levana reassured me, pushing back against my fight for control, and I eased back. 

The elder waved the rod around in our faces as he continued to address the crowd for another minute, and I tuned most of it out as I tried to fight back the fear that enveloped my entire soul. The heat from the fiery rod inches away from my face nicked at my cheeks, an obvious testament to what was about to happen. 

Without a sign of remorse or hesitation, the elder placed the hot silver rod directly above Hunter's mark that stood between my shoulder and my neck, and he pressed it harshly into my skin. "This is the evidence of your sins, a reminder of your actions, and you will live the rest of your days as a reject, knowing you are unwanted and unworthy of love." 

My body exploded with a throbbing ache equivalent to the feeling of a million hot nails digging into me and burning through my flesh. Levana bit my lower lip as the rod slid deeper into my skin, causing my entire body to shake. A coppery and steaky smell of meat turned over, the flames of a grill filled the air, and nausea hit me. 

"Untie her and get her ready for her dance of shame." The elder instructed with a grating voice as he pulled the rod away from my skin and stepped back. 

Levana wobbled as the guards tried to stand us upright once more. Despite her taking most of the pain, I still felt an enormous amount of it, and it was mind-breaking. The guards more or less dragged us down the platform's steps, and Levana turned to face Hunter. 

"Now you can be with your perfect Arya," Levana murmured with wobbly lips before the guards dragged us through the throng of pack members.

~JADE~

The dance of shame was just as they called it. I'm not sure what I expected, given the name, but this truly was the dance of shame.

They didn't give me the liberty of a minute of rest, nor was I accorded the courtesy to get cleaned or even have my wounds treated. The open cuts on my back from the whip that hadn't healed yet trickled blood down my back, and the wound stung continuously as my sweat dripped into it.

They could've at least given me a few minutes with the pack doctor; a few healing herbs to cover my wounds would've helped, but none of that happened. I was dragged away from the platform where I was publicly flogged, branded, and jostled through the streets of the pack, half-naked. A few of the mated she-wolves in the pack rallied behind me, clapping as they sang the words of my shameful deeds and dishonour. The elders followed behind; Hunter, his family, and my family were in the crowd behind me. I could still faintly smell Hunter and the familiar scent of my family. 

Two guards flanked both my left and right sides-the same guards who brought me to the council hall for my trial-and kept their distance to avoid being struck by the rotten food and eggs thrown at me by the pack's unmated wolves. 

The guards led me through the few streets in the pack land. Almost every house had its doors open, and the pack members at home stepped out to witness the public humiliation of their defected Luna-to-be. Some of the she-wolves who were already mated joined the crowd behind me; others came out of their houses with rotten food, trash, and eggs, tossing them at me as they hurled insults and demeaning words at me all at the same time. 

Humiliation sank into my soul with every insult. I tried to fight off the tears, but no matter how much I deluded myself with the thought that I was strong enough to take it, in all honesty, I wasn't. Being able to face Hunter during the trial was one thing, and I was able to do that because I hated giving him the satisfaction of seeing me crumble. 

Even through the public whipping, I still held my head high and refused to crumble in his presence. I already gave him that satisfaction one too many times in the closed space of what was once our home, and I wouldn't give him such joy again. But hearing these vile words hurled at me, the spit and the rotten food being thrown at me like-once upon a time, these same people hadn't smiled at me, laughed with me, and even invited me into their homes because they wanted to be on the good side of their soon-to-be Luna. Those same people are the ones treating me like the dirtiest scum of the earth, and my mate, who should've been my shield, was more or less my number one public enemy. Even my family, who should've wrapped their arms around me and promised me that it would all be alright, are now ashamed to even be seen walking close to me. 

The guards poked me with a staff in their hand when they noticed I had stopped dancing, and my body moved again, with shame and crippling pain in my gut. My tears wouldn't 't stop even though I willed it, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief when I finally made it to the outskirts of the pack, just a few paces away from the pack border. 

"Jade Dimaano," The voice of the elder leading my doom, cut through the woeful singing of the women. Slowly, the sounds of their voices and clapping hands quieted. "Do you have anything to say for yourself or your family before Alpha Orion severs your pack bond?" He asked, sounding almost robotic and somewhat bored out of his mind. 

I craned my neck and let my gaze flicker through the crowd until it settled on my parents. Even if I did have something to say, my throat closed up, and my mouth failed to move as my parents did everything possible to avoid my eyes while they hung their heads low in shame. 

Arya was no longer standing beside them like I thought she was, and as I wondered where she had gone, my eyes landed on her. She stood close to Hunter, her body conveniently pressed into his side. She had her palm over her mouth while her body trembled slightly. I couldn't tell if she was crying because her eyes were dry as the desert, but anyone who looked at her would probably conclude that she was crying due to the little tremors in her body. But that was beside the point; it didn't matter if she was crying or not. One thing I noticed, which I painfully wished I hadn't, was that Hunter wasn't making any moves to remove her from his side or put any distance between their proximity. 

Was this it? 

I wasn't even gone yet and had already been replaced, just like that.