~JADE~

I don't even think I remember when the trial started.

No.

I shook my head mentally; this wasn't a trial because there wasn't even anything to try here. This was some twisted judgement-day shit going on. This ceased to be a trial from the moment my own mate didn't even believe me or try to fight for me.

After accepting Hunter's rejection, I walked out of that tiny office space with my heart in the pit of my stomach.

Could it have been naivety because he was the first man I ever loved that I didn't see things I probably should've noticed? Looking back at everything that has happened throughout the two years of our relationship, I guess I was just too naive to see things for what they really were.

Hunter was always territorial and possessive, and one time when I complained about it to my mother because he was being too restrictive, she told me that was normal for Alpha wolves and their mates. She said wolves were territorial, so it made sense.

I used to get all happy when Hunter would become jealous and throw a fuss if he saw me even smile at another man because I assumed it meant he loved me so much and didn't want anybody else to get too near. Having someone dote on me like that made me feel special. He was always breathing down my neck and always wanted to know where I was, who I was meeting, and how many hours I'd stay out. even had a phone tracking app installed on my phone because he wanted to know where I was at all times.

And I was so stupid to think it was because he loved me. I always giggled when he would call whenever I was in town and ask why I was taking so long. I always blushed like a fool because, oh goddess, my mate loved me so much he didn't want me out of his sight. My mate was so possessive, attentive, and territorial that it always made me melt. However, I had been so foolish to see that it wasn't the case.

No, the hard truth that I failed to see then was that my mate didn't trust me; he didn't trust me to stay faithful and loyal to him. So every time I was out of sight, in his head, I could be with another man, and he needed to make sure that I wasn't. I would always tease him about being insecure, but that was only because I loved how flustered he got when I did and his little show of annoyance whenever he tried to rebuff my claim. Then he would go all Alpha mode on me, trying to prove that he wasn't insecure, and then proceed to proclaim how much he loved me. It was entertaining to watch his pale complexion turn a paler shade of pink, and as he babbled on about how much he loved me, I would take advantage of the chance to bring his face down to my level by kissing him on his ginger hair.

Those moments were one of my many happy memories with him, but all those habits of his that I fancied and nurtured weren't because he loved me so damn much he was scared to lose me; no, it was because he never trusted me. And, dear goddess, that stung like a bitch.

It stung so fucking hard, I could feel it twisting my liver, and it felt like someone had a chainsaw to my spine.

"Jade." The sound of my name being called echoed in the far distance, and for a moment I didn't really pay attention. "JADE!" The growl ricocheted off the walls of the hall and slammed straight into my ribcage, successfully pulling me out of my head.

"Yes?" I asked, snapping my head up with slightly wide eyes to look around the room while I tried to hide how unexpectedly shocked I had gotten because of the sudden growl.

"You were asked a question." One of the elders present for my case responded in a pinched voice.

"My apologies if you could please repeat the question again." I prompted, without feeling the need to explain that I was lost in thought and just couldn't be bothered to listen to them while they contemplated my fate.

"We asked if you had a way to prove your innocence." An elder repeated the question for me.

"My innocence?" I asked, blinking rapidly, because I needed to be sure I heard that right.

"Yes. You claim you are innocent, and if you believe you are right against the better judgment of your sister and mate, then can you prove your innocence?" The head elder explained.

Try hard as I may, I wanted to keep my emotions in check, but I couldn't help the mocking snigger that erupted out of me as I took in his words.

Is this a joke?

Are they being serious right now? Asking me to prove my innocence? Isn't that what they should've tried to do for the past few days? Shouldn't they have tried to search for Darren and have him standing here today?

"Did the elder say something funny? Or do you think we're all here for your amusement?" One of the elders barked at me, and I shook my head as I brought my hands to cover my mouth, a failed attempt to stop the sounds coming out of me.

"I'm sorry." I spluttered another round of mocking giggles. "I really am sorry; that was just... I couldn't stop myself." I struggled in between laughs as I replied.

"You want me to prove my innocence?" The scowl on their faces deepened at my question. I sighed, shaking my head. "How? How do you expect me to prove anything at all when I told you some minutes or perhaps hours ago that I do not remember anything that happened after drinking the water my dearest sister offered me? How do I prove something I don't know?"

My gaze travelled among the elders, and if the judgement in their eyes wasn't clear enough, the annoyance on their faces was more than enough evidence of how irritated they were with my presence.

"Are you suggesting that I drugged you?" Arya yelled, springing to her feet. The elders had given her permission to sit down while she was giving her testimony of what happened and what she saw, and the entire ordeal was done with snot and tears all over her face.

Hunter had also given his own statement, and weirdly enough, Arya was the one who raced to our home to call Hunter after she saw me sleeping in bed with her boyfriend. According to my dear ol' sister, she had been too shocked, hurt and scared that her boyfriend would hit her or try to hurt her if she confronted us alone, so she ran to my mate instead.

"Did you?" The bitter smile on my face stretched thin as my gaze bounced back to Arya, who wore a scowl on her face and I wondered if looks could kill.

"You..." Arya began, already sniffing. "How could you?" And then the waterworks followed. "You betrayed my trust, and now you accuse me of doing something so vile." She hiccuped, sobbing hysterically as she blabbed incoherent words that made no sense.

My mom reached out from her seat, patting Arya's back, while the majority of the people at the table turned to her with a look of pity on their faces. Even Hunter couldn't keep the passive expression on his face as he turned briefly in her direction but immediately looked away.

Nice. Once again, I am the bad guy.

How nice.

I sighed, raising my head up to stare at the ceiling while I fought back the stinging tears in my eyes.

"It is a customary rite for anyone being tried to be given a chance to prove their innocence; are you saying you can't prove yours and there is no point extending this rite to you?" The head elder asked, and I dropped my head with a heavy sigh.

"Like I said, I don't know or remember what happened; how do you suppose I prove my innocence? Why is her boyfriend not here if you really wanted to give me a chance?" I asked while pointing at Arya. "Shouldn't he be questioned as well?"

"The delta fled the pack, and all attempts to find him have been futile; however, he isn't the accused, you are. And if you cannot prove your innocence, we are within our rights to proceed with the trial as we deem fit and make a decision based on all the evidence brought here against you today." The head elder responded, and I gave a curt nod.

A few days ago, I was still foolish enough to hope that this trial would prove my innocence, but I had resigned myself to my fate the minute I accepted Hunter's rejection and walked out of that tiny room. I was never a part of this pack, and even if my innocence is proven, they will never see me as one of theirs. I was an outsider when I came back two years ago, and I am still an outsider. Being with Hunter for the past two years gave me a false sense of security, and I was so deluded to think I belonged here.

I watched with a shattering heart as the elders huddled together and whispered amongst themselves. The head elder whispered something to the elder next to him, who in turn whispered in the ears of the next elder, and it continued like that until it got to Alpha Orion, who shifted his attention to Hunter for a few minutes, and it became quite clear that they were having a conversation through the mind link.

My gaze trailed back to the people I thought were my family. Arya was still sniffling and crying, and my parents were fussing over her, patting her back as they tried to console her. She said I was the self-absorbed one who always took everything from her, but for as long as I can remember, it has always been this way.

My parents only agreed that Aunt Diwa take me with her because they believed she would teach me discipline. To my parents, I was the troublesome child, the one who never listened, and that was how I got myself into the mess of becoming Aunt Diwa's ward. It wasn't because I was eager to visit the Philippines, nor was it because I manipulated Aunt Diwa to take me; it was because my parents didn't want me here. They didn't want to deal with my troubles and would rather have their perfect daughter, Arya, who always obeyed and never questioned them.

"It has come to our knowledge that you are pregnant with your mate's pup. Is this true?" My gaze returned to the elders for a moment.

"Jade, are you pregnant and are we to believe that the pup you are carrying belongs to your mate?" The elder repeated his question, and my gaze shifted to Hunter.

Our eyes met, and I stared pointedly at him as I flipped the question over and over again in my mind. Is it true? Is it his pup? Am I really pregnant?

"No," I replied without breaking eye contact with Hunter. "I lied." I declared in one breath, and for some reason, Hunter flinched.

If this is his only chance to ever father a pup, then I will gladly deprive him of the opportunity and joys of being a father.

~JADE~

Did I make the right choice when I answered that Hunter wasn't the father of the child I was carrying? It may not have been the right thing to do given the kind of mess I was in already, but their shocked expressions were more than enough satisfaction for me at that moment. 

Hunter and Alpha Orion were the ones who looked the most shocked by my response. I guess Hunter probably expected me to insist the child was his and use that as an excuse to hold onto him and beg for mercy, but I was done with begging him to see me and to hear me after I accepted his rejection. He didn't even believe me these past few days when I had been trying to tell him that I was carrying his child, and suddenly he was shocked that I was not clinging onto him.

What was there to cling onto in the first place? 

The shocked expression on their faces didn't last long and quickly turned into disgust as soon as the meaning of my words had settled in. Hunter had snarled to show his disgust, and his parents shook their heads. Although I could've sworn Alpha Orion was the only one who wasn't relatively disgusted with my revelation, I couldn't tell why. 

Everything after that revelation moved in a blur; the elders didn't waste another breath as they announced my verdict, and it was impossible to miss the malice in their voice when they declared me guilty of infidelity and treachery. According to them, the fact that I was pregnant with the child of another man was more or less a plot against my mate and his position as Head Alpha.

Hunter's mother had hissed and said I may as well have driven a sword through his heart and killed him. Although I would never harm him in that way, I wanted him to endure the same pain I did when he rejected me and each time he went to bed with someone else. Yet aside from the brief moment of shock that flickered across his face and the abrupt flinch, his face remained impassive and his eyes cold as the elders passed their verdict. 

"It is no news that we do not tolerate any act of perfidy, unchastity, or treachery in this pack. Our fathers before us and those before them condemned such, as did those who committed these taboos." The elder who had led my trail declared as he mounted the platform that I was made to kneel on.

Pack members gathered before the platform. I guess words do travel fast in the pack because it was only a few minutes ago when the guards led me out of the council hall to the back of the building where the platform stood. 

"Pack traditions are made to be honoured, and pack laws are implemented for a reason. One of which is so we can lead a virtuous life; another is so we can command respect amongst others; and the most important is so that we can always have the goddess on our side and her blessings upon us as we honour her name through her just actions. We cannot accomplish any of these things if we tolerate abomination and those who commit vile acts." 

The elder moved up and down the platform as he addressed the growing crowd. He paused for a moment, his eyes scanning the faces of his audience, and then he climbed up the steps, coming to a stop beside me. "Before you, is Jade Dimaano! As you all know, she's beta-mated to your Alpha Heir, Hunter Hendrix. Your luna-to-be has been tried and found guilty of infidelity." The elder voices, pausing for a moment to allow the words to sink in with the crowd, I couldn't tell if their shocked gasps were genuine or if they were only appalled by the sight of me and my misdeeds. 

Once the murmur within the pack members died down, the elder continued. "She has also been charged with perfidy, for she carries the bastard child of another wolf. A Luna who bears the child of another wolf who isn't her Alpha is no different from a greedy man who seeks to kill the Alpha of his pack and unseats him." 

The murmurs grew louder as he continued to decree my crimes and how heinous my actions were. The voices of the pack members rose above his own, and some of their words were no longer a whisper as they hurled insults and demeaning words at me. 

Despite my attempt to pretend like their opinions didn't matter or that I wasn't affected, I couldn't because their words jabbed at me like a pack of needles, pricking my skin harshly in a vicious attempt to draw blood.

"Such action is punishable by death." The elder in charge continued. "However, Alpha Orion, in his good nature, pleaded that we spare her life. Jade Dimaano will not be getting a death sentence, but this doesn't mean she won't be punished for her crimes." My gaze shifted to Alpha Orion, who stood at the left side of the platform with his Luna and Hunter.

Various questions fleeted through my thoughts at the revelation that he had pleaded on my behalf. Why would he do that? If I am being condemned for something as serious as treason, an accusation that my actions were a threat to his son's life, why would he ask that I be shown mercy? 

His gaze met mine, but his eyes betrayed nothing, and no matter how hard I stared at him, I couldn't decipher his reasons for begging the elders on my behalf. Unlike his son, did he believe me? But if he did, why isn't he trying to talk some sense into his son, or at least why hadn't he tried to prevent this trial from happening? 

The voice of the elder grabbed my attention once more, dragging my gaze from Alpha Orion back to the elder as he came to stand in front of me. "For her crimes, Jade would be flogged with seventy-four lashes for the sin of infidelity, after which she would be branded as an unworthy mate." The elder turned to me with a sneer on his face, and his lips curled in a grimace. "And you will bear the mark of your sins for the rest of your life, for any wolf who stumbles upon you will see and know how greatly you wronged your mate and defiled the sacred ties of your mate bond. Your sins will follow you wherever you go." 

The elder turned his back to me as he addressed the crowd. "This is a lesson to you all, whether you are mated or unmated, a reminder to you that the mate bond is sacred, a gift from the moon goddess, one that should never be taken for granted or defiled. Anyone who defiles the sacred gift of the goddess will be punished and degraded as deserved. Jade Dimaano will perform the Dance of shame around the pack after her lashings, and then she will be forever banished from these pack lands." 

I sucked in a sharp breath at his declaration, "If you go against this verdict and ever set foot on this pack land, you will be treated as a lowly rogue and killed upon sight." 

My gaze danced around and settled on Hunter; something had shifted in his eyes between the time of my trial and now. A lone tear slid down my face as I held his gaze in a silent question. 'Is this what you wanted?' I asked mentally, even though I knew he couldn't hear me now that our link had been severed. 'I hope you are happy.' I added, wincing in pain and folding forward as the first lash of the whip hit my back.

~JADE~

The whip whistled through the air as it came down on me, cutting through my skin effortlessly with a bitter sting that only became harsher with each lash. I had to stop counting somewhere along the way, unable to focus on anything else aside from the fiery-hot pain that seared through my body with every merciless stroke of the whip. 

My vision blurred with welled-up tears; despite the tears raining down my cheeks, more water welled in my eyes, and it wouldn't stop pouring. All my attempts to simply dissociate from this very moment seemed futile. All I could think and feel was pain in my back, my arm, and every part of my skin that the whip lashed. Despite my tears, the only satisfaction I didn't give Hunter or the audience gathered around was my cries. 

I bit back every moan, swallowing around every choked sound of anguish that threatened to spill out of me. My body flamed in agony, and each blow from the whip propelled my frame forward. The stench of blood filled the air, and the open wounds on my skin only hurt more as my sweat seeped through the fresh cuts. Still, I clamped my lips shut, refusing to let out the cries of horror that rumbled through my chest. My knees quaked as the whip landed on my left shoulder, and my body jerked forward, a subconscious attempt to escape the onslaught of pain. 

The tears in my eyes created a thick fog over my vision, and I wished so badly that the fog would take over my mind so that it could numb my body from this pain. Another failed attempt to pull my mind away from this moment. Try hard as I may; it just wouldn't happen, and I cursed the stars because such pain as this wasn't new to me.

Aunt Diwa might not have hit me with whips, but that doesn't mean she never hit me with any available object. Inflicting pain on me was her way of reminding me who owned my body. In the early years, when she started hitting me, I would cry, become hysterical, and plead for her to stop, but over time, I became used to the pain. My body always welcomed the stinging bite that came from her cutting me up with silver blades. It became easier to dissociate and numb my mind to the pain. 

Closing my eyes and ignoring the pain came so easily to me, and I would let go. Each time she hit me, cut me, or hurt me, I would feel myself leave my body as I let go and watched from the outside, and doing that meant I could daydream about a better place. Closing my eyes and numbing out the pain meant I could envision myself with a better future-a future that didn't include Aunt Diwa. It was a future where I had succeeded and escaped her abuse, and that made welcoming the pain easier. Because welcoming the pain she inflicted meant I could dream of a day where I would find love, and sometimes I craved the pain. Perhaps other times I acted out or rebelled just so she could hurt me, because only then was I able to dream of a life without pain; only then could I dream of a life where I was treated better and someone else cherished me. By some miracle I ended up having that life for two years only to have it ripped away from me overnight. 

And right now, in this moment, it was impossible to numb the pain because there was nothing to daydream about, no future where I could wish for a better life because this was my better life. Being back in this pack was my better place; being mated to Hunter and experiencing his love for two years was the better life I had always wished for, but now that better life has served me unimaginable pain, one I couldn't pull myself from because there is no hope, and nothing good succeeds this. 

'Let me.' Levana requested, pushing through my mental walls.

'You should protect the baby; this will pass soon.' I replied, shaking my head at her request. 

'The baby is fine; you're not doing fine. I won't be able to do much for the baby if you end up collapsing from the pain. Let me take over; I can handle the pain better, and when this is over, you can take back control.' she suggested again. 

'Being on the surface will also help me heal your wounds faster; the faster the fresh wounds on your body close up, the lesser the risk of getting infected.' Levana added, and I gave up the argument as I let her take over. A sigh of relief pushed past my lips as Levana moved to the surface, and the pain radiating through my body almost became a distant memory. 

With my wolf on the surface, the remaining part of the ordeal went by quickly. One of the guards dragged Levana upright, and she winced. If the elder noticed that my wolf was now present from the change in my eye colour, he didn't say a word. The elder addressed the crowd; for the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on whatever he was saying. 

I watched from the back seat of my mind as the elder walked down the platform's steps, moving with fluid ease to the fireplace made out of a stack of river rocks. He picked up a branding rod with a flat surface made of silver, pulling it out from the fire. The flat front of the branding rod glowed with a red, fiery heat as he held it up. 

Fear racked through my entire body as the elder began moving, and he continued up the steps leading to the platform, stopping beside me. 

"This is a lesson and a warning to anyone who ever harbours the thought of tainting their mate bond; know that you will meet the same fate as Jade Dimaano." He muttered before turning to face me. 

My mind rioted violently as the hot rod stood inches away from my face. The instinct to fight against this slammed into me, and I almost fought Levana for control. 'Don't panic. I've got this; just pretend like this isn't happening. I'll take the pain; I can handle it.' Levana reassured me, pushing back against my fight for control, and I eased back. 

The elder waved the rod around in our faces as he continued to address the crowd for another minute, and I tuned most of it out as I tried to fight back the fear that enveloped my entire soul. The heat from the fiery rod inches away from my face nicked at my cheeks, an obvious testament to what was about to happen. 

Without a sign of remorse or hesitation, the elder placed the hot silver rod directly above Hunter's mark that stood between my shoulder and my neck, and he pressed it harshly into my skin. "This is the evidence of your sins, a reminder of your actions, and you will live the rest of your days as a reject, knowing you are unwanted and unworthy of love." 

My body exploded with a throbbing ache equivalent to the feeling of a million hot nails digging into me and burning through my flesh. Levana bit my lower lip as the rod slid deeper into my skin, causing my entire body to shake. A coppery and steaky smell of meat turned over, the flames of a grill filled the air, and nausea hit me. 

"Untie her and get her ready for her dance of shame." The elder instructed with a grating voice as he pulled the rod away from my skin and stepped back. 

Levana wobbled as the guards tried to stand us upright once more. Despite her taking most of the pain, I still felt an enormous amount of it, and it was mind-breaking. The guards more or less dragged us down the platform's steps, and Levana turned to face Hunter. 

"Now you can be with your perfect Arya," Levana murmured with wobbly lips before the guards dragged us through the throng of pack members.