"I apologize."

I lowered my gaze, my voice soft.

Benicio frowned, "It's not me you should apologize to. You owe Adalynn an apology."

"Okay."

Perhaps I replied too quickly, too resolutely. He seemed caught off guard.

His frown deepened, and his intense eyes stayed on me, as if he had more to say but couldn't quite express it. In the end, he just let out a simple "hmm."

I didn't meet his gaze as I turned and headed towards Adalynn's classroom.

Adalynn, Benicio, and I were in different classes. Usually, during breaks, lunch, or on our way home, Adalynn would find Benicio and me, and the three of us would walk together. I had always thought of us as good friends.

But now, I realized I was like an awkward third wheel, always in the middle, hindering their time together. Maybe they'd been silently annoyed at my obliviousness all along.

Now that I understood, I wasn't going to intrude anymore.

For the next few days, I avoided having lunch with them in the café. After school, I found excuses to stay behind, steering clear of walking home with them. When they planned a weekend trip to the library, even though Adalynn invited me, I declined.

Maybe my abrupt withdrawal was too obvious.

Benicio finally noticed.

When Adalynn stopped by after school to get us, and I mentioned I hadn't finished my assignments, Benicio approached me at my desk.

"Which assignment are you behind on?"

His question was sharp, unsettling me.

I felt a bit guilty, "A lot."

"How much is a lot? You've been working for days and still aren't finished?"

"I'm slow; I can't write quickly."

"If you're struggling, why didn't you ask me for help?"

Benicio's persistent questioning stirred emotions I had been trying to bury, leaving me unable to hide them.

Just as I was about to lose my composure, Adalynn walked in and interrupted, "Benicio, why are you giving Lilian a hard time?"

Adalynn took my hand, "Forget about the assignments today; it's Benicio's birthday. Aren't you coming?"

At the mention of his birthday, I froze.

Benicio's cool gaze was still on me, as if disappointed I had forgotten such an important day.

In the end, Adalynn led me away to join them.

Benicio Montgomery was a trust-fund kid, so of course, his birthday bash was extravagant.

When the three of us arrived at the party, Benicio and Adalynn Watson quickly became the center of attention, swarmed by guests. Meanwhile, I was swept away by the crowd, unnoticed and unmissed. For the first time, I felt the glaring divide between our worlds.

I had known Benicio since middle school but only met Adalynn in high school. Her warm personality made us fast friends, and she often sought me out. Over time, her familiarity extended to Benicio as well. It was only then we realized that Adalynn lived in the same neighborhood as Benicio. They were neighbors. Even though they met later than I had with Benicio, it seemed fate had its way of bringing them together.

Looking through the throng, I watched Benicio and Adalynn being nudged closer by the crowd. As everyone teased them about being a perfect couple, Adalynn blushed while Benicio smirked. At that moment, I regretted tagging along; it felt like I was setting myself up for heartache. Without having brought a present, I slipped out of the ballroom.

Once home, I turned in early. But in the dead of night, I was awoken by a knock. Thinking it was my mom, I groggily opened the door, only to find Benicio standing there.

He looked serious. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

I couldn't fathom the irritation in his voice. Did my presence really matter to him? Everyone was posting clips from his party in our class chat, and he didn't seem the least bit upset.

"And where's my birthday present?" he suddenly asked.

I remembered the gift I'd been working on for months and then thought of the video where Adalynn had given him a pricy scarf worth thousands. I felt a pang of embarrassment. It wasn't just that our gifts were different, but hers was lavish, while mine was a simple, amateurish scarf.

"I forgot. I didn’t have one ready," I said.

Benicio inhaled sharply. Just when he seemed about to say more, footsteps echoed in the hallway. I stepped back and shut the door.

Benicio seemed upset that I hadn't prepared a Thanksgiving gift for him and didn't speak to me for over a week. Perhaps he thought I would, as usual, swallow my pride and apologize first. But this time, I didn’t cave.

I took the initiative and asked the teacher to change my seat, moving away from the desk in front of his. Benicio's special status meant he was exempt from our monthly seat rotations, and as his close friend, I usually got to stay put too. But my sudden move left Benicio visibly annoyed. He pulled me into the stairwell, demanding an explanation.

I wanted to leave, but he pinned me against the wall. During the struggle, Adalynn appeared, coming up the stairs just in time to witness the scene. Even though nothing inappropriate was happening between Benicio and me, the look in Adalynn’s eyes made me feel like I’d been caught in some scandalous act, leaving me inexplicably guilty and embarrassed.

Later that day, Adalynn casually asked, "Do you like Benicio too?" The word "too" revealed so much.

"Lilian, you're my best friend. I hope Benicio doesn’t come between us. You understand that, right?" Despite her familiar tone, she felt like a stranger to me. Or maybe I never really knew her at all.

Just then, as footsteps approached, Adalynn deliberately missed a step and fell down the stairs right before my eyes. Luckily, Benicio appeared just in time to catch her.

She glanced at me and said, "It wasn't Lilian's fault. We had a minor disagreement, and I lost my footing." Her words seemed explanatory but felt more like a cover-up.

From several flights up, I caught Benicio’s gaze—cold and disillusioned. He didn’t believe me. My heart sank.

I turned to leave. Benicio, looking uncharacteristically grim, caught up with me quickly, blocking my path. "What’s wrong with you lately?"

"She said herself she lost her balance. What more do you want from me?" I asked.

"Apologize!" he insisted.

"..."

He gripped my wrist tightly, holding it so hard that it hurt.

"Will you apologize or not?" His eyes were piercing, as if I wouldn’t be allowed to leave if I didn't comply.

After a tense minute of silence, I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Benicio."

He frowned.

I spoke deliberately, "You are an absolute jerk."

His expression shifted to surprise. I shook off his hand and returned to the classroom. It was the boldest thing I had ever said to Benicio. It was also the last thing I said to him during our school years.

Soon after, my mom and I moved away. As I left his house, I hesitated for a long time but couldn’t bring myself to throw away that scarf. So, I sneaked back to school and stuffed it into Benicio’s desk.

I left a note with it:

"I think you're okay, so I'm giving this to you!"

I had no idea who would sit at that desk when the new term began. I didn’t know if what I left behind would be discarded as trash. I left my feelings for Benicio, along with that scarf, in the past.