His Love Meter Hit Zero the Day I Almost Died

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When I was twenty, I hurt my brain saving my boyfriend, Charles Fox.

After that, I could see a love meter floating above his head.

A steady, unchanging 100.

I was certain he was the person who loved me most in all the world.

Until the day of the wedding rehearsal, when I fainted and was rushed to the hospital.

I stumbled onto Charles pinning my best friend, Alice Simmons, against the wall at the end of the corridor, kissing her until his lips bled.

"Allie, I love you, and you love me. Why can't we be together?"

Alice's eyes were red as she shoved him back with all her strength.

"Charles, stop pushing me."

"Don't forget, Linda Sullivan saved your life. You can't do this to her."

Charles's eyes filled with tears, his voice thick with pain and anger that had nowhere to go.

"Just because she saved me, I'm supposed to hand over my whole life's happiness to her?"

"I'd rather have died in that car crash!"

Alice couldn't hold back anymore. She threw herself into Charles's arms, crying.

In that moment, the number above Charles's head changed.

It dropped from 100 to 50.

I pulled my mouth into a small smile and slid the report that read "brain cancer" into my pocket.

So it turned out that halving someone's love was the work of a single instant.

If that was how it was, then I didn't want this relationship anymore.

……

I stood at the corner, watching them kiss like they couldn't bear to let go.

Charles's hand was locked around Alice's waist.

The rehearsal wedding ring was still on his ring finger.

The name engraved inside it, he had carved with his own hands too.

Alice rose on her toes and pulled Charles back into her arms.

The bridesmaid's corsage on her wrist felt like it was mocking how slow I'd been to see it all.

Three hours earlier, at the wedding rehearsal, she'd warned Charles with red-rimmed eyes.

"If you ever do wrong by Linda, I'll haunt you even as a ghost."

"Do you hear me!"

Charles's eyes had welled up, and it was a long time before he nodded.

Now that I thought about it.

Those thirty seconds he'd paused had been full of regret and reluctance.

But back then, it was Alice herself who'd introduced Charles to me.

And it was Charles who chased me for a whole year before I said yes.

They'd had countless chances to be together, so why did it have to be now?

I crouched miserably in the corner, and it wasn't until my feet went numb that they noticed me.

Charles's eyes were full of tenderness as he helped me up.

"Linda, why don't you have shoes on again?"

Only then did I realize I'd come out barefoot.

At home, I never liked wearing shoes either.

Every time, Charles would tuck my feet against his chest, terrified I'd get cold.

But now, after catching sight of the loneliness on Alice's face, he hesitated.

"Linda, wear my shoes."

As he bent down to change my shoes, the number above his head jumped again and stopped at 45.

Five less again.

Only because my existence had made Alice sad.

I pressed down the sourness rising in me, pushed Charles away, and left without looking back.

I thought that as long as I didn't turn around, I wouldn't have to see anything.

But the glass door of the ward reflected the two of them anyway.

Alice walked ahead with her head down, sullen and unhappy.

Charles hurried after her and carefully gathered her into his arms.

Alice trembled, but she didn't refuse.

In the end, the two figures merged into one.

My nose stung, and my head ached badly.

My mind was full of the doctor's words.

He'd said my condition gave me only a 50% chance of surviving the surgery.

And even if I survived, I'd be left with memory loss.

Before, I'd been so afraid.

Afraid I wouldn't come off the operating table.

More afraid that I'd forget Charles and Alice.

But now, all at once, it felt like a relief.

Death, memory loss, either one.

Both were better than this.

I took out my phone and sent the doctor a message.

"I agree to the surgery. Please schedule it as soon as possible."