When His Last Words Didn’t Name Me, I Stopped Trying to Be His Only One

01

My fiancé flew to Paris himself to pick up our custom diamond ring, and on the way back, his plane developed a serious malfunction.

On my way to the airport,

I happened to catch the news broadcasting the passengers' final message videos.

"This might be the last time I ever get to talk to you."

"You always said you'd never marry, that you wanted to be an independent woman. I thought I could be your knight for the rest of my life, but now I have to break that promise."

"From now on, take good care of yourself. No more staying up late, no more cold water. When the pollen comes in spring, remember to get your allergy medicine ready ahead of time."

"You know all my passwords. Look after yourself from now on."

My eyes went hot with tears. And then, in the very next breath, he called out another name.

"Ella, I want you to be happy."

The moment I heard the name, I felt like I'd dropped into ice.

Because the woman he called for wasn't me.

It was my best friend.

My hand clenched around the phone, cold to the bone, and just then the announcement came over the terminal:

"Passengers on flight CA77 arriving from Paris, the aircraft malfunction has been resolved. The plane is about to land safely..."

By the time I reached the airport, I got there just in time to see Jude Vance and Ella Gill weeping in each other's arms, eyes only for one another.

I stepped back quietly, turned, and walked away, as if I had never come.

So love was a crowded place, and I was always the third person who could never squeeze in.

...

Jude held Ella in the middle of the crowd, the two of them like some golden couple everyone envied.

A reporter smiled and snapped a photo. "You made it out alive. You'd better treat your girlfriend well from now on."

Ella flushed and tried to pull her hand away, but he gripped it tight.

"Of course. From now on we'll be together for the rest of our lives."

Ella gave him a light punch. "If Delia found out, she'd be furious again."

"Let her be. I'll make her some little something with my own hands to smooth it over, and she'll forgive me, happy as ever."

"I almost died just now. Am I not even allowed to show a little real feeling?"

So the one Jude had truly loved all along was Ella. In the face of life and death, the heart doesn't lie.

People streamed past through the airport, and I was pushed off into a corner, hot and stifled.

My phone buzzed softly.

【Baby! I just got back from my trip. Tonight I want the whole roasted trout and the garlic butter steak bites you make yourself...】

He rattled off several dishes in a row, all of them Ella's favorites.

Whole roasted trout is full of bones and a nuisance to eat.

Whenever I wanted it before, he always said, "The bones catch in your throat. We don't eat troublesome dishes like that."

But the moment Ella came over, that dish was always on the table.

Jude would patiently pick out the bones and push the tenderest pieces of fish over to her.

Sometimes he'd catch me watching and just smile. "Your friend's all thumbs. I'm honestly scared she'll eat herself into the hospital."

That was always how he was. His mouth complained that Ella was clumsy and helpless, but he was willing to arrange every little thing for her, carefully, down to the last detail.

I still remember when we'd just made it official, Jude took me to meet his buddies, and one of them teased, "Jude, I really never thought you'd end up with Delia James."

I glanced instinctively at Jude. He swirled his glass, his eyes soft and unfocused. "She's great. Independent, doesn't need coddling."

He always said he hated people who needed coddling.

So through our whole relationship I worked hard to be an independent woman. I changed my own lightbulbs, cleared my own drains, even packed everything myself and hired the movers on my own.

The one time I ran a high fever and called Jude, all he said, flat and cool, was:

"You have a fever, so call a doctor. What are you calling me for? Delia, you know, ever since we started dating you've gotten needier and needier."

There was noise in the background, my friend hollering, "Jude! I can't get this cap off."

He answered her, told me he was out at dinner with friends, and hung up in a hurry.

That day I dialed 911 with shaking hands and nearly went into shock in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

So his favoring of Ella had been that obvious all along.

I used to think that as long as we were together long enough, as long as I gave enough, he would eventually see me.

But in this moment, I was finally tired. I drew a deep breath and sent Jude a message:

【Jude, let's break up.】

The next second, across the crowd, I watched Jude take out his phone.