My breathing hitched. His mouth onto my ear, feeling his breath onto my skin... Everything felt so sensual.

Sensations sent onto my spine, and although my brain tells me this is wrong, I can't stop my body from acting up.

God, why? 

This is so much. 

I've never been with any man before, not to mention a man who's as handsome and charismatic as River.

"A-Alright..." I answered, trying not to show that much how nervous I was. "Can you step back now? Y-You're too close. People might get the wrong idea."

River smirked, and instead of complying with my request, he even stepped closer-as if the closeness between us wasn't still enough.

Placing a strand of hair at the back of my ear, River muttered, "And why would they get the wrong idea? We're cousins."

Clutching the fabric of my cloth, I controlled myself as a sudden sensation traveled into my body.

Serenity, don't entertain those thoughts! River is just messing with you!

I repeated those words like a chant, like it's the only thing that would make me sane. These emotions are overwhelming me, and it's all because of him.

But there was something in his tone. Something I couldn't decipher. 

Or is it just me?

"You're adorable, Princess," River said a few seconds later, caressing my cheek for a moment before letting his hand down. "It makes me want to kiss you."

"W-What?" I blinked in surprise.

"You're not deaf, Princess, aren't you?" he asked, smirking.

But suddenly, his smirk faded when his gaze moved from my eyes, lips, and down to my neck.

His gaze darkened, and he gulped. I don't know how to react to that. He looked... hot. 

I had never seen someone as handsome as him, even in school.

"W-We're cousins," I told him, not being able to hide my stammer.

"And why do you think I care?" River said, his tone low and seductive. "That was just blood. I want your heart, soul, and everything about you."

And fucking hell, I'm in danger having the same thought as him.

Why do we need to be cousins in the first place? Of all people, why him?

I couldn't answer him. My brain was foggy, and I didn't know what to say. What I only know is that I'm having a hard time breathing since he's around.

He just had that effect on me, even if we just recently met.

"Relax, Princess. I won't bite," River suddenly said, stepping away from me, letting me breathe. "Don't worry, I'm not planning to do anything to you... for now."

My brows furrowed, giving him a deadly glare. 

What is he doing? Why is he giving me mixed signals?

"Since I'm also living in the same place now, I suppose I'll see you often, huh?" he said, playing with the strands of my hair. "Just behave for now. I won't do anything that will put you in danger."

He leaned forward again, causing me to close my eyes and clutch onto the hem of my shirt tightly.

Is he... going to kiss me?

And if he was, then why am I not stopping him? Am I really sick in the head now?

"Relax. I'm just getting something," River muttered, taking a glass of water on the side. "If you keep that reaction up, I might think that you wanted me to kiss you."

I clutched my shirt, not knowing what to say.

It made River raise an eyebrow, and he was now staring intently at me.

"Was it the case, Princess?" he asked, his lips curving into a smirk.

He was about to take a step forward, but suddenly, he stopped, then he stepped backward, creating a distance between us.

It was my turn to frown. Why? Is there something wrong with my face?

"Are you two getting along already?"

A familiar voice spoke on my side. When I looked at it, I saw Dad inside the kitchen.

His brows furrowed when he stared at me.

"Why is your face red? Are you sick?" Dad asked, but his voice wasn't laced with worry.

I could hear irritation and frustration with them.

"You can't be sick, Serenity. The secretary has already filled your schedule. You're going to accompany me to the business parties, date with Hans, while not neglecting your school."

"Being sick would only disrupt everything," he added with a sigh.

I sighed in the back of my mind, too. Dad isn't worried about me getting sick, but about how it would postpone the scheduled meetings if I do.

I'm already used to it, but maybe because they're my parents, everything they do, especially the ones that indirectly tell me they don't love me... stings.

Still, I nodded. "Yes, Dad. I'll take care of my health even more."

If that will maintain the peace I have in this home, then I'll do it. I'll always follow whatever they want, even if it means neglecting mine.

After all, as I grew up in this family, I don't even know my likes and dislikes at all.

My parents carved me to be someone that I'm not, making me think that they only had me because I was convenient. Beneficial.

What will happen if I'm not useful anymore?

"Wait," River, whom I had forgotten was in the same room with us, suddenly spoke. "Why are you the one creating her schedule, Rico? Shouldn't it be at free will?"

Dad chuckled and shook his head. He looked at River as if he had said the most ridiculous sentence in the world.

"It was only applicable to people in the lower class, River," Dad answered, clicking his tongue. "You know that people like us, who need to maintain our wealth and standing, should never have any free time."

"Well... That's true. But that should be you and Eleanor's work," River replied, also referring to Mom. "She's just a college student. Let her enjoy it."

"She's enjoying the life we gave her," Dad said as he gave me a look from head to toe. "Look at how privileged she was. All her things were branded. She had smooth, delicate skin. She doesn't even clean the house."

Hearing those words, I clenched my fists, which I hid on my back. I also wanted to bite my lips to control myself, but once Dad saw it, he would scold me again.

He treats me like I'm just a maid who doesn't do my job. River, who had just arrived at our house, already noticed what was wrong.

But why couldn't they? What's wrong with my parents?

Why do they treat me as an object instead of a human being?

"And why would she need to? You have maids," River asked, the confusion evident in his tone. "And she's your daughter. Of course, you would want the best for her."

"That's exactly what I'm doing," Dad told River, his voice becoming dangerously low as he didn't want to let himself lose this argument. "This is the best life we could give her."

He added, "If we let Serenity go through her life without our intervention, not only would she destroy her life, but the Miller family as well."

What? Does that mean he doesn't trust me? River, who was a stranger to me, could trust me, yet my parents couldn't?

"Hah. I guess you won't accept anything I tell you," River said, finally surrendering. "I guess, you do you."

He looked at me and said, "I can't even do anything right now if you always have her consent, isn't it?"

For some reason, those words... made me feel belittled. It's like he was telling me that I deserve what I tolerate.

This jerk. I used to think he was kind because he was taking my side, and because he showed concern toward me, even though it was our first time meeting each other.

But now, I hate him again. I just want to strangle him.

In bed.

Shit. Where did that thought come from?

"Damn. Is this how you live in the States?" River asked, shaking his head, as if he was in disbelief. "I'm not even thinking that much about business in my academic days. I only train in my free time."

Dad scoffed. "You're a Palmer. Of course, you will be on a different level. No one can dictate to you. You don't even follow your parents."

"Come on, Rico. Stop that." River chuckled, scratching his nape, pretending to be embarrassed as he looked at me. "Princess might think that I'm a reckless person."

"Well, aren't you?" I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms. "You even keep calling me princess even if that's not my name."

"Because you are one." He smiled.

At that moment, my heart thumped rapidly. I can even feel my cheeks burning.

If I'm really a princess, then I'm the most useless one. I'm the robot type, the one who couldn't move without being commanded. No one wants that.

I don't want myself to. It feels like I'm only breathing for others, and the feeling isn't good.

But River... He makes me feel worthy. With just his simple words. His body language was different. His concern about me, even though we barely knew each other.

Or maybe he just liked me in the first place, like what he had told me a minute ago.

And I feel the same attraction toward him.

Oh, no. I'm in trouble.

"Stop calling her Princess," Dad said, but it looks like he doesn't really care about it. "Other people might get the wrong idea."

River looked at me, his eyes playful, as he spoke.

"She's my cousin. Why can't I?"

Cousin... 

Of all people, why did he become my cousin?

"Well, that's your life," Dad told him, shaking his head as if he was already surrendering. "Just make sure to tell everyone about it so they won't misunderstand, especially Hans."

"Hans?" River asked, his brows furrowing as he looked at me. "Who's that?"

"Her soon-to-be husband," Dad answered without hesitation, which is the opposite of my reaction.

River's brows pressed deeper as he went silent for a moment, pondering about something. Then, suddenly, his gaze darkened.

I knew it. He remembered our conversation last night.

I really thought it would be the first and the last time I'll talk to him, so I told him a bit of my story. But fate plays differently, isn't it? Never did I think that he would be my cousin.

And why would he need to be a hot one? I couldn't help but be disappointed-

Stop it, Serenity. This isn't like you.

"I don't want any conflict toward Serenity and Hans, and I'm letting you stay in our house because I know who you are," Dad added, snapping me from my thoughts.

He added, "You're business-minded, and you don't associate yourself with problems you're not involved with, or don't benefit you."

"Right." River nodded, not averting his gaze at me. "There are some exemptions, though."

I knew it. He was talking about me, and the fact that he went toward me that night, asking how I was, even though we thought we were strangers at that time.

But why? Is it really possible that he likes me? That was too fast.

Or is it just me?

"What are you still doing here?" Dad suddenly asked me, snapping me back to my senses. "You need to prepare for school, don't you? You have quizzes, and I won't tolerate any mistakes."

"Y-Yes, Dad," were the only words I could say. "I'm going to leave now..."

I bowed to him and River before I went back to my room, now preparing myself so I can go to school.

I suddenly felt exhausted. Maybe it's because I'm dealing with two things at the moment. First are my parents, and second is... River.

He was a threat to my whole existence. With his presence right now, I know I could be swayed, and I can't let that happen. My parents will go berserk once I weren't able to fulfill the identity they had created for me.

But at the same time, I would love to try. What could happen if I purposely let myself stray?

"This is why he is dangerous," I muttered, now wearing my necktie. "Disobeying them had never gone into my mind before, but because of him..."

I let those words hang in the air. I'm afraid that if I think too much about it and entertain the thought, the more I would like to try it.

"Get a grip, Serenity," I told myself, taking my handbag from the cabinet. "If I do something wrong, River would be affected, too."

For some reason, I feel worried about him, even if we don't know each other that much. Is it because he was showing me sympathy, too?

Or... is it something else?

***

A few minutes later, I was already at school, walking in the hallway. Like always, everyone glances at me, but every time I look back at them, they avert their gazes.

I sighed. Well, I understand why they are avoiding me. After all, if I see another schoolmate with lots of bodyguards following them, I would do the same thing, too.

"Serenity! Hey, babes!" a woman's voice called me from behind.

I didn't need to look to know who it was. Only one person was strong and capable of coming at me, even with my bodyguards behind.

"Mia." I smiled, feeling relieved.

Whether it's because of her family background or if she's just bold and feisty, that's why she always comes to me without any hesitation or fear.

But I'm just thankful to have a friend like her. If not, I would have lost my sanity a few years ago.

"As always, you're early," Mia mumbled, then she linked her hand to my arm, clinging like a Koala. "But... I never thought those guards were studying at our school, too."

With Mia's sarcasm, I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head.

My two guards, on the other hand, remained emotionless as they stood straight, not even bothering to answer.

"It's not as if something bad will happen in the school, right? We're in a prestigious university, after all," Mia said, her eyes narrowing. "So, can't you just watch her from afar?"

"Sorry, Ma'am Mia. But we're just following instructions," my guard replied, his tone low and polite.

"Well... The instructions didn't state that you need to follow her in this proximity, right?" Mia raised an eyebrow, her grip tightening on me. "It seems like you're monitoring a child."

I knew Mia. The lower her voice was and the tighter she held me, the more she controlled her emotions.

She was mad because of what my parents were doing to me. Both of us were the sole heirs of our family, but her parents... They were never suffocating.

Unlike mine.

"If you don't maintain your distance, I swear, you won't like what I'll do next," she said, her lips curved into a sweet smile, but the choice of words and the tone were the exact opposite.

"I'll report you to the principal, and when that happens, they'll call Mr. and Mrs. Miller." She smirked. "And who will get scolded? You. Because you're not doing your job properly. Do we really need to go that far?"

My guards stiffened upon hearing those words.

They knew that Mia wasn’t bluffing. Whatever she says, she does.

And if she said that she’ll take this incident to the principal’s office? She will.

“So, what can you say?” Mia asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “Would you like me to go to the principal’s office now?”

“No need, Ma’am Mia,” one of my guards answered as he took a step back. “We’re sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Good. Now, go.” Mia shooed them away, her brows furrowed. “And… please. Study how to be a cool bodyguard. Because what are you doing right now? It’s not cool.”

The guards didn’t reply. Instead, they took another step away until they were now far from us.

I heaved a sigh, although I can still see them in my peripheral vision.

“Haah. Finally, they’re gone,” Mia said as she turned to me. “To be honest? I really don’t have any idea how you are enduring that, babe.”

“I mean, if my parents control me like that? They won’t see me in this country anymore. Ever,” she added, snorting. “Maybe that’s why they’re giving me my freedom, though.”

“Silly.” I chuckled and shook my head. “But… Thank you. At least, those bodyguards were tolerable now. I don’t feel like someone is holding it through my neck already.”

Mia nudged onto my shoulder. “No problem. You know that I always got you, right?”

I nodded.

And Mia didn’t have any idea how thankful I am to have her as my friend.

“But seriously… I just hope aunt and uncle would give you a cooler bodyguard, if they really insist that you should have one,” Mia mumbled, now clinging her hand to my arm as both of us walked into the classroom.

We’re classmates in English, but the next subjects will be in our majors, so we need to part ways.

“A cooler bodyguard?” I frowned. “That doesn’t exist.”

“Oh, yes. They do!” Mia giggled, as if she remembered someone. “Before you came to the bar last time? I saw a really, really handsome bodyguard, girl! I think he’ll work for another person, but whoever it was, I’m sure they’re the luckiest person alive!”

Mia’s voice was louder than usual. Maybe it’s because she’s excited about what she was talking about, but the others kept looking at us.

She never had a problem taking the spotlight. That’s Mia Hernandez for you.

The center of attention, and even one of the most famous students in the university, not just because of how attractive she was, but also because she’s a varsity player and a party goer, too.

I, on the other hand, always do my best to stay away from the spotlight.

I’m not afraid of people, but I’m afraid of what my parents do to take the opportunity. It’s like… I’m just a cash cow or something for them.

“Anyway, did you talk to your parents already and say that you’re opposed to the marriage?” Mia asked, halting me from my thoughts.

Her voice was lower than before, yet I heard it loud and clear.

“I didn’t.” I shook my head. “You know I can’t do that, Mia.”

“And why?” She raised an eyebrow, looking at me as she leaned forward onto my ear. “I thought you already had guts because you’re talking to a handsome man last night.”

“What?” My eyes widened. “Wait… How did you know that?”

“Of course, I saw it. Duh!” Mia rolled her eyes playfully. “To be honest, he’s hot as fuck. And the fact that he’s older? Goodness. I’m on my knees.”

I grimaced.

With her blushing cheeks combined with her giggling, I’m sure she meant it in another way.

“That person you’re talking about is no other than my cousin, Mia.”

She froze.

Mia’s eyes widened, now looking at me in disbelief.

“What?” If her jaw wasn’t intact with her face, it might have fallen. “You’re saying that you have a cousin who was drooling with so much sex appeal like him?”

I sighed, massaging my forehead. “Language, please.”

“But I just can’t believe it!” she exclaimed, and this time, she got everyone’s attention again. “Like, do you want me to be your cousin-in-law?”

“Oh my God, Mia. Stop it.”

She should be thankful that she’s currently clinging to my arms right now, because if not, I would have left the moment she mentioned River.

Smirking, Mia said, “I’m just kidding. Because you know what? I think he likes you.”

My eyes widened, and even though I didn’t like it, my cheeks blushed hard as soon as I heard that.

But it’s wrong. So wrong.

“Didn’t you hear what I said earlier? He’s my cousin,” I repeated just in case she had a problem hearing me. “You’re giving me the chills.”

“Chills, huh?”

Mia’s lips curved into a smirk, then she stared at me. It’s as if she could read my mind, like all the things I’ve been hiding.

I almost wanted to step back, but I couldn’t. A part of me wanted to stay away, and another part of me wanted to hear what she was about to say.

“I don’t think that’s the case? And do you want another hot take from me?” she added to ask, now leaning into my ear, whispering, “That guy… He’s the one who will make you free. I can feel it.”

What does she mean?

I wanted to ask, but before I could even speak, the bell rang.

“Let’s go, babes!” Mia said as she pulled me inside the classroom, smiling brightly as if nothing happened.

As if she didn’t say anything that would make me think of her words until the end of our class.

*****

After classes, I went home.

To be honest, I really don’t want to. I wanted to stay in school for longer, even just in the library, so I could study.

I feel suffocated when I’m at home, especially when it comes to dinner, where everyone is present, acting like a perfect family even if we’re not.

“Serenity,” Mom called me as I approached the dining area. “Come here, sit.”

“Yes, Mom.” I nodded and obliged.

Heaving a sigh at the back of my mind, I sat on the chair in front of Mom, and across from Dad, who was sitting at the head of the table.

I looked at the table. The food was too much just for the three of us. And when they start to talk about business and other things? I can’t even taste the food even if it reaches my tongue.

The atmosphere looked good with the same crystal chandelier I’ve always seen every time I’m here, but… dinner was always the same.

Exhausting.

“What are you waiting for? Eat,” Mom commanded, looking at the food, then her gaze moved toward me. “You’re not waiting for me to spoonfeed you, right?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m not.”

I started eating, chewing through the vegetable salad, even if the last thing I wanted to do right now was stay here and pretend that everything was alright.

I came home from university, and it’s not like it’s rare, but still, I hoped my parents would ask me about my day the way normal parents did.

That they would ask if I was tired. Or happy. Or hurting.

They didn’t. No one between them even cared about me.

“There were changes in some of the business schedules,” Dad said, his posture rigid, and his eyes sharp as he cut through the steak. “Make sure to fit that in your schedule. Remember what I said. I don’t accept no as an answer.”

“Yes, Dad.” I nodded.

The silence followed as no one spoke. If silence were a knife, it would have been cut into the air right now.

Only the sound of the cutlery made me sane as my parents started talking about their usual business, as if I were just a wallflower in between.

No one even noticed me. No one.

Not until someone came into the dining area.