Lukas wouldn't even call this a thing. The first time had been confusing enough, then there was a second time and a third. It should have meant something, but neither of them said a word about it.

They just... continued.

At first, it stayed simple. Training would end, Viktor would linger just a second too long, he'd tiptoe and lean in... quick and quiet, like he was stealing things he wasn't supposed to take. Lukas never responded, never leaned in, never acknowledged it after. He would just grab his bag and walk out like nothing happened.

And Viktor would follow or sometimes he wouldn't and it didn't matter... because the next day, it would happen again.

******

"You're late, Volkov."

Lukas kept adjusting his gloves as he spoke to him. He got prepared before stepping onto the ice.

"I'm two minutes earlier than last time," Viktor replied, already skating past him.

"You're still late."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"It doesn't have to."

Viktor let out a quiet sigh, shaking his head slightly. "You know... you're unbelievable."

"And yet you're still here," Lukas shot back, finally glancing at him.

There was something brief in that look... like if Viktor had said the right things, they'd be fine but he didn't. He just caught it like he always did.

Training went the same way it always did. Very strict and precise.

"Your shoulders are too stiff again!"

"They're not." Viktor would reply quietly.

"They are!"

"Maybe you're just picky."

"Oh? I am picky. Fix it!"

Viktor adjusted anyway, even though he clearly didn't agree. Lukas stepped closer and held his shoulders, correcting the angle himself this time, his hand firm against Viktor's body.

"Relax," he muttered.

"You're the one making me tensed," Viktor replied.

Lukas paused for a second, his hand still holding him tightly. Then he clicked his tongue softly and pulled away. "Focus."

"I am trying."

"Try harder."

Viktor didn't respond this time, but he let out a little laugh. Like all of this was amusing and nothing more... like he was enjoying this more than he should and that was how it always went.

Back and forth. Sharp words and low whispers, tension sitting right beneath everything they said.

And after that was nothing. No conversation or explanation, just the daily kisses they both got like a form of congratulations...

Weeks passed before Lukas realized the situation had changed totally. Slowly, without permission... it had deepened. Now, it wasn't just after training anymore. It slipped into breaks, into cleanups, discussions, into those moments when no one was looking, when the rink felt too quiet, when the distance between was unneeded.

Viktor would step closer without warning, with an expression Lukas only saw when he wanted a kiss like it had always been like this.

"Move," Lukas muttered once, when Viktor stood too close while he was reaching for his bottle.

"Make me," Viktor replied, not even moving an inch.

Lukas turned slightly, ready to snap at him and Viktor kissed him. Quick and clean and just turned around before Lukas could even react.

"...what is wrong with you?!" Lukas asked, his voice lower now. He felt more confusion than hate... his hands played in his hair as he let out a breath.

"You didn't stop me," Viktor said simply.

"But that doesn't mean-"

"What does it mean then?"

Lukas didn't answer him because even he didn't know. It kept happening and every time it got harder for both of them to pretend like it didn't matter. 

Lukas still hadn't forgiven him for abandoning him. That part stayed exactly where it was... buried with all the other things he hated the most. There were still nights when it rained and that's all he could think about. About the rain, about the empty space where Viktor used to live and where he used to be in his heart and how long he waited.

And those feelings didn't go away but somehow... neither did this.

One evening, the rink was emptier than usual but not completely empty but still close enough. Everything made a sound and the skates matched their breathing.

Lukas stepped off the ice first just like always, pulling off his gloves and tossing them into his bag. His movements had become a routine because he'd done it a million times before and behind him, Viktor slowed to a stop.

"Done already?" he asked.

"You're tired?" Lukas replied without turning.

"I didn't say that."

"Then stop talking."

Viktor let out a soft laugh, skating even closer anyway. "You're in a mood today."

"I'm always in a mood."

"Yeah," Viktor said, stepping off the ice as well, "but this one's nasty."

Lukas zipped up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "Why don't you leave? ...like you did before."

Viktor moved even closer "Why don't you make me?"

And there it was again. That damn tone... like he was challenging him. Lukas turned this time, eyes memorizing every bit of him. "You really don't know when to stop, do you?"

"No," Viktor said easily. "Do you?"

Before Lukas could respond, Viktor leaned in and the kiss was quick like it was nothing. Like a waste of sin. Just a press of lips and nothing more and that pissed Lukas off. His hand shot out immediately, grabbing Viktor's wrist before he could pull away.

"Don't-" he started, but the words didn't come out right.

Viktor raised a brow slightly confused. "Don't what?"

Lukas didn't answer. He just pulled him back and this time, there was no hesitation.

The second kiss wasn't careful or quick. It was messy, with feeling that had been hidden for far too long finally slipping out. Lukas's grip shifted, one hand moving to Viktor's waist as he lifted him without thinking 

"Hey-" Viktor let out a quiet laugh, legs wrapped around Lukas and his hands on Lukas's shoulders, trying to steady himself. "Since when-"

"Stop talking," Lukas muttered against him and that only made Viktor laugh more but he didn't pull away... not even a little.

Instead, he leaned into him more, letting himself get devoured by their lust and he trusted Lukas with more than himself. When they finally pulled back, both of them were breathing heavier than before, eyes locked in and Lukas' hand had slipped under Viktor's shirt.

Viktor rested his forehead briefly against Lukas's, still smiling slightly.

"You know I'm older than you, right?" He asked, voice softer now, but still teasing.

Lukas didn't push him away and didn't drop him either. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing just a bit.

"Then correct me," he replied.

For a second, Viktor just stared at him in shock... then he laughed properly this time.

"Wow," he managed to say, shaking his head. "You can talk."

"Don't get used to it."

"Too late."

Lukas huffed quietly, but there was no real anger in it this time and that was new. They looked in each other's eyes a little longer and the next kiss came easier, like neither of them needed an excuse not to anymore... Like whatever this was, they had fully accepted it.

Viktor pulled back just enough to look at him, his expression a little more serious now, though the hint of amusement hadn't completely disappeared.

"Have you done this before...?" He paused. "...with a man?"

Lukas' face relaxed a bit. "No... you?"

Viktor shook his head to show he hadn't.

"My place," he said after a second... Then, like he reconsidered, he added, "Or yours?"

By the time they stepped out of the rink, the sky had already darkened as heavy droplets hit the pavement in sharp, relentless patterns.

The cold air wrapped around them instantly, soaking their clothes in seconds... they had just one umbrella and as Lukas adjusted himself was when Viktor shouted.

"Great!" Viktor yelled, pulling his jacket tighter. "You planned this? Huh?"

Lukas didn't answer. His gaze lingered on the rain a second too long... his memories flooding him. It felt like their third meeting as children. It had rained heavily and Lukas hid under a tree for shelter... but Viktor ran there with just one umbrella, screaming out his name. When they got to Viktor's house, they were both soaked and laughing.

"Come on," Viktor snapped him back to reality. "Unless you want us to run down the street with just one umbrella". Lukas eyes widened and he paused. "Or do you plan on standing here all night?"

He didn't. A ride came quickly, and the rest of the journey passed in a strange kind of silence... not awkward and not tense... just quiet. Lukas didn't know how to feel after finding out Viktor didn't forget anything that happened... it hurt him more than it pleased him. 

By the time they got to Viktor's place, they were both half-soaked, hair damp, clothes clinging slightly. Viktor barely got the door open before Lukas pushed his back to it.

That was it. There was no pause apart from breaks to catch their breaths, no thinking or second guessing. Lukas's hand caught Viktor's wrist, pulling him even closer, and their lips met before the door had even fully opened behind them.

It wasn't slow... anyone could have caught them but they didn't care. It was everything they hadn't said finally spilling out all at once.

Viktor let out a quiet sound against his mouth, hands coming up to grip Lukas' shoulders as he was pushed back slightly, then forward again.

"Lukas-"

"Don't," Lukas muttered, breath uneven. "Don't even talk."

Viktor laughed softly and leaned in, like he wasn't going to listen anyway as the kiss deepened. It was messy and uncontrolled, soft grunts and moans filling the air.

Lukas's hands slipped down his waist again, lifting him like it had already become second nature. Viktor didn't resist, his legs wrapping around him easily, arms sliding around Lukas's neck as he tilted his head back slightly.

"Careful," he murmured, though there was no real warning in it.

"Then stop me," Lukas shot back, already moving.

And Viktor didn't.

The room faded into the background as Lukas pushed the door open and kicked it shut behind them, moving straight toward the bed.

Viktor barely had time to react before he was dropped onto it, the mattress dipping beneath him as he let out a soft breath, looking up at the monster who had been keeping his cool and then he paused.

Lukas was already pulling his shirt off, careless and quick like he didn't have the patience to do it properly and the time to waste.

Viktor blinked once in awe and then again.

"...wow," he said under his breath, pushing himself up slightly on his elbows. "Who else has gotten the chance to see this beauty?"

Lukas didn't even hesitate.

"No one but you."

The words came out low and direct. Viktor could tell he wasn't joking and for a second, Viktor just stared at him.

Something about that drove him mad.

Before he could say anything else, Lukas was already climbing the bed and closing the distance again.

"Your turn," he muttered.

Viktor smirked slightly, fingers already moving to unbutton his shirt, slower than necessary.

"You're impatient."

"You're slow."

"And you're daring."

Lukas didn't deny it or even look away. He kept staring at Viktor like a predator ready to pounce on his prey.

"I'm waiting."

That was enough... Viktor finished quickly after that, tossing the shirt aside, but the second he looked back up, Lukas was already there again. Closer, his breathing heavier and unavoidable.

Their lips met again, slower this time but no less intense, like they were learning each other in real time. Their hands wandered, hair grabbed, lips and necks bitten... their breaths mixed.

Everything blurred into heat and lust and something that had been building for far too long. At some point, Viktor let out a quiet laugh, his breathing uneven as he shifted slightly beneath him.

"Wait-" he murmured, though he didn't sound like he wanted him to stop. "Are we even thinking right now?"

Lukas shook his head against his neck, voice low.

"I'm not."

"Yeah... I figured."

Time lost meaning after that. It wasn't about the control anymore or the distance or rules or pretending. It was just them and nothing else.

At one point, Viktor tensed slightly, a quiet, breathless sound slipping from him as he grabbed onto Lukas a little tighter.

"Wait...wait-" he laughed weakly, shaking his head in disagreement "It's big! Are you serious?"

Lukas didn't stop trying to make it fit, but he slowed, his voice quieter now, closer.

"You started this, Viktor."

There was a way Lukas called his name that made his body react and Viktor huffed softly, eyes squeezing shut for a second. "I didn't think you'd fit"

"You teased me," Lukas cut in, pressing a slow kiss just below his neck. "For weeks."

"That doesn't mean-"

"It does now." Lukas cut him off.

There was something dangerous about the way he said it... like a nice warning. Viktor exhaled slowly, his grip tightening around Lukas slightly before he let out a quiet breath.

"...fine," he murmured. "Just... don't kill me."

A faint hint of a smile tugged at Lukas's lips, though his voice stayed low.

"You'll be fine."

And softer, almost like a promise...

"I'll be careful."

The room was not quiet and Lukas didn't totally keep to his promise. Memories blurred and tears ran. Each thrust ran in the thin line between pain and pleasure... it went on for hours until Viktor's body started to give in. 

Lukas caught a few of his words...

"Please Lukas–"

"Slower Lukas..."

"What are you doing Lukas?!" His eyes went wide with panic as Lukas lifted his legs to his shoulder, his eyes having no regret behind and Lukas responded.

"Getting rid of your attitude." He said as he slid back in unapologetically and the night went on as the rain poured.

Viktor lay sprawled against the bed, breathing slow and uneven, completely drained, one arm thrown lazily across his face.

"...you're insane," he muttered, voice barely there.

Lukas, sitting at the edge for a moment, glanced back at him but didn't respond. His moans, cries and pleas filled his mind and there was nothing appropriate to say. After a while, Viktor didn't speak or move. At some point, he had just... drifted off and Lukas noticed.

He stood there for a second longer than necessary, watching him, something unreadable passing through his expression before he finally moved to lay down.

He didn't touch him or pull him closer. He didn't fix the distance between them. Instead, he laid down beside him... just close enough to feel the warmth, but not enough to close the space completely. Like he still wasn't sure what this was or what it meant.

The rain continued softly outside, tapping against the windows reminding him of what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, father!" His little voice cried "I'll do better...I'll be a better child!" Lukas screamed. It was the same nightmare. The same routine. His father beat him to a pulp, wishing he were dead instead of his mother. It was the exact dream until–

"Stop!" A small familiar voice screamed, "Don't hit him anymore!" And before Lukas could look at who was fighting for him. His eyes shut wide open.

"Are you done resting?" Viktor mumbled, poking his cheeks. Lukas didn't respond. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling. The night was too wrong... He didn't understand what was happening, he lay there asking himself if it was that easy for it to move on after all the trauma Viktor had put him through.

"Earth to Lukas" Viktor said, louder...waving his hand across Lukas' face "Anything the problem?"

Lukas turned to him slowly and spoke, his voice almost a whisper "What do you want?"

"For someone in my bed, under my sheets...you do have nerves" Viktor said, as he claimed into him again... looking down on him this time.

"For someone who begged and cried out my name..." Lukas sat up and grabbed him by the waist "... you're being very cocky"

"Tch. You can't tell anyone about this though." Viktor said as he trailed a finger down his back. "You wouldn't want people looking at us differently... would you?"

Lukas stood up slowly with Viktor still wrapped around him, his hair a mess and the wind from the rain exposed his tired eyes.

"You look so tired... do you not sleep?" Viktor picked a strand and toyed with his hair...

"This is the best I've slept in years." He replied. He wasn't lying. He did have a dream, the typical routine... but younger Viktor was there and it made no sense to Lukas.

Victor kept looking at him, wondering what he was so engrossed in and then he said it.

"We can't let anyone know this happened, it'll be best if we forget," Viktor said, voice stern. He was still in Lukas's arms when he was speaking, both in underwear as the cold air rushed in from the opened windows. The whole world seemed to pause after that sentence.

"I don't understand you Viktor." Lukas finally spoke "You want us to behave like none of this ever happened?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because–" Lukas cut him off before he could finish.

"It's fine" he said as he gently put him back on the bed. "Don't talk to me in school." He put on his jacket and walked out.

Viktor sat there in silence as his whole world crumbled. Lukas was supposed to ask why, he was supposed to care or be worried... but instead, he accepted and left like he meant nothing.

The door clicked shut and just like thathis life felt empty again. Viktor let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the spot Lukas had just been standing in. His chest felt tight in a way he didn't like.

"That's... what I wanted," he muttered to himself.

But it didn't feel like it, not even close.

He fell back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling, the faint sound of rain still tapping against the window. Everything from last night replayed in fragments-Lukas's voice, the way he looked at him, the way he held him like he actually... Viktor shut his eyes.

"...this is better," he said again, quieter this time.

But even he didn't sound convinced.

Morning came too quickly. Lukas was already dressed by the time he stepped onto campus, his expression back to what everyone knew... cold, composed, unreadable. It was like the night before had never happened, as he had already buried it.

Students greeted him as usual, whispers trailing behind him as he walked through the halls, but he didn't pay attention. His mind was clear, like he had made a decision and locked it in. No hesitation and no second thoughts.

Viktor, on the other hand, noticed him immediately and of course, he did. The moment Lukas stepped into view, something in him shifted, like his body reacted before his mind could catch up. For a second, he hesitated... then he walked forward anyway.

"Hey-"

His voice came out lighter than he expected.

"Hiii, Luka-"

Lukas didn't even slow down. He didn't even glance at him or react. He just walked past, like Viktor wasn't there...like he didn't exist. The words died in Viktor's throat.

He turned slightly, watching Lukas's back as he kept walking, steady and unbothered, disappearing into the crowd without a second thought.

"...wow," Viktor let out under his breath, a humorless smile tugging at his lips.

"So that's how it is."