"Shit!" Hannah yelled and caught the bottle before it reached the ground. I could not force a word of thanks to her, or peel my eyes away from her phone.

 It wasn't the caption that got to me. When you are famous, unwarranted rumors tend to spread, especially when you're more secretive. I had seen posts shipping me and fellow cast members, him and other members of high society, a few deep founded allegations about our relationship...so the tagline was nothing new. It wasn't the headline that had me moving in a mindless gait to an empty folding chair, it was the picture...pictures! I discovered in horror, as I scrolled down the article. It was her.

Pierce's first love was with him in every photo, a big smile on her face. She was back and in his arms. Pierce seemed to be supporting her weight with his body while she clung to him like every breath in her body was fueled by his presence. I didn't need the caption to tell it was her because she looked like me. Or I should say, I looked like her. It almost looked like it was me in his arms from some certain angles.

But I could never be her.

I was never the girl Pierce was glad and proud to show the world with. The loud ringing in my ears left me dazed. She was supposed to be a ghost from the past, not here getting cozy in an embrace. I would rather have him holding a different woman than her.

Hannah extended my flask to me and I grabbed at it, feeling extremely thirsty. So that was why he was in such a hurry to leave that morning. His emergency was arriving at the airport early enough to pick her up. Why didn't he tell me she was coming back into his life? A laugh bubbled out of my mouth. Was she going to take her place in Pierce's life again? More importantly, was that what he wanted?

I always knew from the bottom of my heart that my relationship with Pierce was not going to work out eventually despite my pathetic hope, but I didn't realize the end to come so abruptly either, catching me completely off guard.

Hannah called my name carefully. I likely looked like I was losing my mind. I needed to get my shit together. Every one of the cast members had seen the post, I was sure, and would be watching for my reaction.

On cue, Sarah waltzed in from whatever part of hell she had been hiding in since we left the set.

"I was going to give you the news of the century but judging from your face you have already seen it." she said snidely, smirking at me

"Back off, snake." Jace warned. Of all people to come to my defense, I thought of him last. I must look terrible for him to be standing up for me.

"Mind your business minion, I'm just having a conversation with the star of the show." She said sarcastically. "You know I would have mistaken her for you, the blonde hair, face-you're basically her but taller. But then I realized that Blackwood would never be caught dead with his hands around you like that in public."

I felt sick to my stomach, I'd been having these episodes more frequently but they had been because I was worried about this interview, now, I felt sick for a whole other reason. I took one look at Sarah and knew it wasn't worth it to talk to her. I wasn't even sure I could get a word out without my voice breaking from all the hurt that was building in my chest.

"I need to use the restroom." I gritted out to Hannah, handed her my bottle and rose slowly from the chair.

Sarah laughed. "Oh come on Myra, you're acting like you thought you'd be more than a good fuck for Pierce. Wait, did you think you had a chance with him. Were you imagining a white picket fence, three kids and a dog?" she mocked.

"That's enough of that." Hannah chided. "It's a rumor that circulated a long time ago. Let it go."

I had to say something, if I walked out without saying a word it would look like I was leaving with my head between my legs. I took in a deep steadying breath, schooling my features before I turned to face Sarah again. I planted my hand on my hip and cocked my head to the side. "For someone who spends most of her evenings fucking Lancaster to stay on this show, you certainly have a loud mouth."

Jaws dropped to the ground, while Sarah turned red in the face. "What the hell are you talking about?" she screamed in my face.

"Oh you know, rumors and all that, it doesn't help that you smell like him when you come back to the studio." My other cast members hid their faces behind their hands. "Word of advice though, If you want to be the main lead next time, you gotta move up. There's only so much our director can do, try fucking the producer-or studio head but for now, do your best cope with the fucking fact that I earned this role and no amount of snide comments or bumping uglies you do will change that."

Without waiting for her comeback I spun around and headed to the women's room, the expression on her face lending me the strength that I needed.

Hannah was right behind me and locked the door to the room when she was sure we were the only ones present. "That was a long time coming." She said dryly. "Took you a while to bring out that inner fire I love so much."

"There's no use pretending to be a placid little doll anymore." I shrugged and dropped onto the bench defeated. It had been all for Pierce. The easy smiles while with him and in the industry. Accepting offensive or dismissive words so I could fit into his image of me; the docile perfect girlfriend who never asked for more. "So it's safe to say that you're really dating him." she stated. "I understand your need to keep your relationship private, but why didn't you tell me you were in this deep?"

"For one I'm not supposed to be deep in anything. It was a strict 'friends with benefits' situation, if you can even call us friends, more like strangers with benefits." I choked back a sob, "It wasn't supposed to happen like this." I replayed every minute I had spent with Pierce, the last few months in my head. We had been good together, I was sure I hadn't imagined him loving me back... he loved her. When he looked at me he saw her, his first love. I looked up at Hannah. "I'm such an idiot."

"Oh don't say that love. Pierce is wealthy, and the wet dream of every woman in Hollywood. You were bound to fall for him."

"...and now, I'll be losing him!" Fear clawed at my heart. In the two years I spent with him, separating had never been a thought in my mind. I understood that it would take him a while to realize he loved me but this?? "What if I'm wrong?" I said quickly. "There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for him being with her at the airport. He could've been keeping it a secret because he wasn't sure how I'd react." That sounded sane. I nodded to myself, accepting my own explanation.

"Honey I've been in Hollywood longer than you, Those two were quite an item back in the day, if she's back..."

"They can be friends." I argued back.

Hannah raised her hands in surrender, "True. There could be a great explanation for this that he'll tell you soon enough."

"Yes."

"...And there might be something else you'll want to talk to him about." My brows furrowed as she began rooting in her bag . "I know this is bad timing considering the news you just had, but I've been keeping this for over a week now and I think it's about time you checked. If things are great then I could be wrong, if not...we'll figure it out."

"What are you talking about?" "Gimme a sec." frustrated at not finding what she was looking for, she dumped the content of her bag onto the floor. "Aha!" she reached down and picked up a packet, which she proceeded to hand to me.

"What's this?" I stared at the box with a blank face.

"It's a pregnancy test kit. For you."

Laughter bubbled in my throat when her words registered in my head. "Hannah, what on earth would I need this for? Put it away before someone walks in and assumes the same thing." I dropped the packet on the bench between us like it had burned my hand. "I'm not kidding Myra. I know you wish I am, but I'm not. You've been sick for nearly a month, you stopped eating mango flavored chips even though they're your second favorite food in the whole world, and your body, it's changing..."

"Jesus Christ Hannah, slow down with the sex talk. I'm not pregnant, okay? I can't be. We've used protection every time we had sex."

"Every time?"

"Yes!" I yelled and moved further away from her. The last thing both of us wanted was a child. I had an experience being raised in a dysfunctional family, and I would not do that to a kid. Plus my career had just started, what part of my life would a kid fit in. Pierce...well Pierce was Pierce. A kid out of wedlock was not up on his bingo cards. We were careful. Very careful.

Except... at the premier of Gossip And Dreams, he had bent me over in his private booth and fucked me senseless.

I froze. No. it happened one time. That wasn't enough. Even as I argued, I knew I was wrong. It dawned on me that I could not recall my last period. Hadn't even thought of the thing since I was so busy with work.

"You don't look too confident." Hannah said sympathetically and stretched the box out for me again. "Just get it over with. I might be wrong and this will be some funny misunderstanding to look back on."

"Or you could be right, and I'll be hot water."

"Only one way to find out." She nudged me toward the bathroom after I had taken the packet reluctantly. When I was locked securely in one of the stalls, with Hannah guarding my stall, I peed on the first one and waited for it to react.

"What's happening in there Myra, I hope you don't plan on pouring water on the kit!"

Now why hadn't I thought of that? "I'm just waiting for the results to come in." I yelled back through the door.

"Its five minutes, it should be done by now."

"Chill for chrissakes" I muttered under my breath and got up from the toilet seat to look at it in the sink. Two red lines glared back from the strip.

"What does it say...Myra? What does the test say?" she wriggled the handle of the door.

"Give me a minute H, it's faulty-let me try it again." I squeaked.

"Oh Myra." She sighed, but waited till I repeated the test again, and again, and one more time for good measure. They all came back the same. Positive. "You can't spend the rest of your day in there; you have to come out at some point." I opened the door, looking white as a sheet.

"It was one time." I said, walking past her in a daze. I was really pregnant. "We've always been safe." Was this some kind of punishment from the universe?

"Shit like this happens all the time babe, don't beat yourself up about it. And hey! If Pierce accepts the pregnancy, your life will be on easy street. Look how much traffic your career has gotten in two years. The rumors about you two gave more popularity to gossip and dreams-and I'm sure you've enjoyed the times you spent with him."

I stopped pacing, thinking about how he helped save my mother, even though he didn't know. He just handed me money after I asked, no questions about what I wanted it for. That was how it had always been. He didn't know me. He never asked questions about my life outside of work, that was all there ever was to our relationship and now I was pregnant.

"Hannah, he doesn't want a child."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Look at the man!"

She pulled me down onto the bench beside her while my mind raced. If I learnt about this child that morning I would feel differently right now. If SHE didn't enter the picture I would have a strong believe that somehow Pierce and I would work things out, that I could convince him to accept the child-to see me as more than a secret affair. Her arrival filled me with so much doubt now.

"I don't know what to do, Hannah. I can't be pregnant." I said, fear creeping into my voice. "I don't know the first thing about taking care of a child, I have my mum and sister to care for, this'll be an extra mouth to feed. How do I keep it a secret from Pierce?"

"Relax love. You're serious about not telling him?"

"I-I can't." Not yet. Not till I was sure that he still wanted me in his life. My voice lowered to a whisper, "what if he asks me to get rid of it?"

"Don't let your mind fly Myra, I think you should tell him. But for now, go for an actual test, determine how far along you are with the pregnancy and the health of the baby, deal with that problem first. I would come with you for moral support, but I need to speak with Lindsay and her team, and I don't want you delaying this any further." She said as she stroked my arm.

"That's okay. I'll let you know how it goes" I said quietly. All I could think of was the fact that I had a mini Pierce growing in me. Hannah wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"You got this."

* * *

It did not feel like I had anything when I was spread out on the table, getting a physical exam from my gynecologist. Or when she told me that I would get the gestational age of my baby the following week when they compile my blood test and ultrasound. There was no 'oh you're not pregnant' or 'sweetheart, it's just your hormones.' No, I was really carrying a child. Pierce's child.

While my doctor spoke to me, I could not help the excitement that bubbled deep within my chest. I was pregnant! I had a little one growing in my tummy and it was mine. Correction, mine and Pierce's. I imagined a world where he would be excited to hear the news. Where he would plant kisses all over my face and spin me around. A child could be a good thing...Maybe it was the catalyst Pierce needed to see that he loved me.

The doctor returned my dazed smile, and told me congratulations before he led me out of her office.

As I walked out of the OB-GYN I fired a call to Hannah. She picked on the first ring.

 "So?"

"The results will be in by next week, I was told I would get a call when they're ready."

"How are you feeling?" she sounded like she was having a meal.

 "Scared...confused...bursting with joy?" I would have added more words to describe my mushy feelings, but the words died in my mouth when I spotted Pierce a few steps away, with a blonde woman clinging to his hand as a doctor spoke to them.

Every emotion that battled for the frontline a second ago all trickled into one. My heart thumped in my chest as I watched Pierce speak with the doctor while she played with the edge of his suit.

 I began to feel lightheaded and took a step backwards. The simple movement seemed to draw Pierce attention because he turned and looked straight at me. I searched his eyes for...guilt? Pleasure? Any emotion that would let me know where we stood. The woman turned to him, then me, and soon, she was tugging Pierce towards me.

 I stood frozen, like a deer in headlights as the pair approached me, the doctor, forgotten.

 This was a good thing. Pierce would introduce us and later in life, we could laugh about how much I was panicking now.

 As they stopped directly opposite me, I peeled my eyes from Pierce and smiled at her.

 The first thing I noticed was how similar we both looked. It wasn't like we looked like twins, but the similarity was obvious enough to make me uncomfortable.

I knew from the beginning why Pierce noticed me, and I told myself over and over that was understandable.

Yet standing in front of the two of them today still made me feel like a cheap knockoff, although she had a look of innocence I could never attain.

I was sure my life had been very different from hers.

My smile faltered at the mischievous glint in her eye. I looked back up at Pierce, who didn't seem like he wanted to speak at the moment.

"Hey," I said brightly, "surprised to see you here."

"I couldn't agree more." He answered grimly. I heard the silent question in his voice and gave a quick lie.

"I'm here with Hannah. She had uhh... fever and I'm tagging along." He looked at the part of the hospital behind me and back at me. I glanced at her and back up at him, giving the same questioning look.

"Pookie bear, won't you introduce me to your friend?" She said in a whiny voice while looking at him adoringly. Pierce's eyes pulled away from mine immediately the words came out of her mouth and my gut wrenched.

Pierce hated nicknames. The first time I had done it, he laughed in my face. The next time I did he snapped at me. "Pookie bear." I murmured under my breath and his eyes seemed to flame.

"This is Myra." Not Myra, my girlfriend or friend, even acquaintance. I was just Myra today.

I smiled lamely at him even though my eyes seemed to plead. I needed more than that. 'Please assure me that she's nothing' I thought.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mira."

"Myra." I corrected,

"Yeah. That's what I said." She glanced at Pierce  with a confused look. "Anyway, I'm Tami. You've probably heard all about me from the news. They were so quick with it!" She laughed while my eyes focused on her hand on his bicep. Friends held each other like that all the time. "People like us don't get to enjoy a moment alone do we? You might understand a bit, since you're an actress."

I nodded, not trusting my voice to sound right.   

"How long have you known my pookie bear?" She continued.

"A while," I replied, forcing a smile on my face. "I hear you and Mr. Blackwood have been friends for even longer?" I led, this was a chance for him to end my fears, or crush my heart. Pierce remained silent.

Tami laughed, "Oh me and him go way back. We were highschool sweethearts. First love and all that, but then we lost contact for a while because I had to go overseas."

"And now you're back, what's the next step?"

"You know how things are. I can't begin to describe how excited I am to be here with him again. I hope we can go back to how things were before I left." She smiled lovingly at him. Her words sliced through me, extinguishing the last flicker of hope.

"Congratulations are in order then." I managed, my voice steady, but barely.

"Tami, we need to leave." Pierce demanded, glancing at the watch on his wrist. He looked at me again. "See you soon."

"Yeah." I croaked and cleared my throat. I knew what was next. Pierce in his business man manner would end our relationship. Cold, like what we had meant absolutely nothing to him. My legs trembled beneath me, threatening to give way.

"Oh! pookie, I think I left my bracelet in the room, can you get it for me." She asked sweetly. Pierced forced his eyes away from me and looked down at her. "Don't worry, I'll be fine waiting here. Nobody's going to steal me." She flirted.

He sighed and brushed past me, and I fought the urge to follow him with my eyes.

"Must be hard for you, isn't it?" Tami said when he was gone. Her warm smile had been replaced by a knowing smirk. She looked me up and down. "He tried so hard to replicate the real thing, it's impressive." Color stained my cheeks, and my mouth seemed to lose its function. "Well thanks for filling in for me while I was gone, I bet you kept him entertained. But I'm back now, and your services are no longer needed."

"I am not a threat to you Tami." I stammered, still in shock at the change I witnessed. "My relationship with Pierce is different from what you have with him." and it was ending now. She had nothing to worry about. My heart ached.

"I don't feel threatened by you or anyone in the city. None of you stand a chance." she crossed her arms. "Which is why I called the paparazzi, it's a public announcement that Pierce is mine and nobody else's." Her face turned into a mask of honey again.

"But I wish you the best in your career. I hope you make a big hit one day." She smiled sweetly as Pierce returned to her side.

"There was no bracelet in the room Tami, how important was it to you?" he asked concerned. "I could have them do a thorough search for it." In our two years together I had never seen this side of Pierce.

"You're so loving, pookie, but it's okay." She looked straight at me. "It's kinda worthless anyway."

Just as she turned he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. "We have to talk, Myra, I'll get to you when I can:"

"Come on Pookie, I'm tired of standing here." She grumbled. Pierce spared a look at the ward I had come from before he spun on his heels and led Tami away.

My cheeks burned in humiliation. Tami's and Sarah's words played over and over again after I left the hospital. But now I was sure of one thing. I would never tell Pierce about my baby.

When I returned back to the apartment that Pierce had rented for me at the start of our contract relationship, I curled up in a chair to watched the city go by.

When I agreed to date him, I didn't think I would fall in love this hard. I didn't think I wanted him to either. We belonged to different worlds.    

Yet, here I was, a heart broken mess for a man that didn't think I was important enough to get a little warning on the end of our relationship. He could've told me she was coming back. Give me enough time to prepare myself for this heartbreak.

Oh, who was I kidding. Nothing could prepare me to leave Pierce. My eyes filled with tears and I let them fall in the privacy of my home.

Despite my pain, I felt an overwhelming sense of longing for him. I left my perch on the chair and collapsed into my bed, wrapping myself around a pillow. There, I inhaled the warm woodsy smell I associated with him.

Funny how I was still trying to find comfort from a man who regarded me as less than. God, I loved him. So much that it hurt. I knew it would feel worse to have him tear our relationship to shreds. Would I be able to bear it without telling him that I loved him? Confessing my love to him would make me even more pathetic.

My heart felt like it had been broken into tiny pieces in those few hours.

As far as I knew, I had two options; wait for Pierce to pay me a visit, and watch as he broke the news of the end of our relationship, or the second option. Save us both the hassle of a face to face meeting. No matter which option it was, the call Pierce promised never came.