Your grandfather wants to talk to you," Xander's mom said later that week.

She'd shown her father the revised plans and room designs the AI created. When Xander asked what his grandpa thought, she gave him some cryptic message about how Grandpa Davidson had to think about it.

Honestly, he'd never expected his grandpa to go for it since Xander was only thirteen. Besides, anything with an AI was somewhat suspect in most people's minds; they had no idea how the world would soon change because of that technology.

The best comparison Xander came up with was life before smartphones. Now, people could hardly function without them. Xander had grown up with them, so he didn't know what it was like not to have a phone. AIs would have an even more profound effect on everyone's future lives.

In his opinion, people relied far too much on their phones. The best move they'd made at school was banning devices during class. Xander found it funny to watch everyone reach for their phone when the bell rang. Who knew what earth-shattering event might have happened in the hour they'd spent offline?

"When?"

"I'll pick you up after school today, and we'll go to his office."

"Anything I need to prepare for?" Xander asked.

"Nope. He just instructed me to have you there."

"That's not weird at all."

They heard a honk from the driveway.

"I have to go," Xander said, stuffing a corner of toast into his mouth and grabbing his coat and backpack.

He ran out and found Donnie's mom's van in the drive. It was her turn to take everyone to their morning lifting session before school. Donnie had wormed his way into the arrangement when Kevin accidentally mentioned their morning workouts. Xander decided not to make a fuss, so Donnie became part of the morning group.

On the other hand, it made Xander's mom happy to have one more mom in the carpool rotation.

Xander found it amusing that Donnie sat in the back row, leaving shotgun to Xander.

"Morning," Xander said as he got in.

As he put his seatbelt on, Kevin jumped on his ass.

"I hear you're not coming to Pam's on Saturday night."

Pam had sprung it on him the day before, but he'd made plans to play poker with his grandpa that night. She wanted to invite everyone over to watch something on streaming video. Her mom said Pam couldn't invite Xander alone; it had to be a group thing. He couldn't blame Pam's mom, but she didn't have anything to worry about.

Pam wasn't happy when Xander told her he already had plans, but he had visions of cleaning out his grandpa's friends again. Word had spread that Xander had promised to play with all his winnings from the previous month's game. His grandpa said the buy-in had been raised to a minimum of $500, an astronomical amount for a friendly home game. His grandpa's friends still thought Xander was a fish who'd just gotten lucky the previous time.

"I told her I could do it Friday night or Saturday afternoon," Xander said.

"What are you talking about?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

"My girlfriend wants to watch Netflix and chill. Her mom said we had to do a group thing."

She missed the naughty reference, which made the guys chuckle.

"What are you doing Saturday night?" Mike asked.

"Playing poker."

"And you didn't invite us?" Donnie asked.

"The minimum buy-in is five hundred dollars," Xander said. "Please watch the road."

Mrs. Wilson had turned to stare at him. She jerked her head around before they drove off the side of the mountain.

"What do your parents think of you playing poker for that much money?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

He pulled his phone out and sent his mom a message to be ready for a call from Mrs. Wilson. And that she should ask his grandpa about the poker game he was going to on Saturday. He got one back with one word: Poker?

Xander chose to ignore it; he would let his grandpa explain. Grandpa Davidson insisted he sit at Xander's table this time, but the lady hosting the game had said they would draw cards for seats. That had gotten everyone off her back about wanting to play 'the kid.'

"I never asked them."

"You have $500 to blow?" Donnie asked.

"Of course not. I'm not going to blow it; I plan to win," Xander said.

"What can't you do?" KJ asked.

"I've yet to figure out women. What do you say, Mrs. Wilson, care to clue us in to the mysteries of the fairer sex?" Xander asked.

She just smirked and shook her head. Thankfully, they arrived at the gym.

"Thanks," Xander said as he bailed out of the van to go lift.

Xander's mom picked him up after school. She'd already collected Izzy, so he got into the back of the van.

The van conversion had turned out great. The back bench folded out into a bed based on the design he'd given his dad. It had a locking drawer underneath that could be used to transport guns for when they went hunting. His dad had installed a high-end cooler in the back that would hold ice for ten days. He'd also installed blinds for the windows so they'd have privacy while sleeping. They would retract when driving so as not to obstruct the view.

Xander's dad, being who he was, wanted to make it something special. He'd also installed solar-powered lights so they wouldn't run down the van's battery. The wall panels had all been swapped out with wood paneling he'd coated in a clear-coat gloss, making it shine. He'd also replaced the carpet to match the bed pads Xander's mom had made.

Xander couldn't wait until he turned sixteen, and it would be his.

They dropped Izzy off at home and then drove to the job-site trailer where his grandpa kept his office. They walked in to see Grandpa Davidson looking at the plans Xander had given his mom. With him was Mr. Klien, the architect, a sharp-featured German man who slightly resembled a bulldog because of his jowls.

"This is my grandson, Xander, who messed with your perfection," Grandpa Davidson said.

Mr. Klien chuckled. "Max Klien. Please call me Max," he said as he reached out and shook Xander's hand.

"We've been going over your plans, and Max is eager to pick your brain before we build anything else," Grandpa Davidson said.

They waved Xander over. He glanced at the drawings they were reviewing and saw marks all over them indicating the differences.

"Janet told me you ran it through an AI architect," Max said.

"That's right. The company offers a free trial, which I took advantage of. The full-blown version is supposed to allow you to optimize for location. An example it gave was that if you lived on a coast, it would optimize the design to survive a hurricane.

"I asked it to optimize living space. That's why it eliminated many of the hallways," Xander said.

"My son has been pushing for us to look into using AI software to assist us," Max said. "But, like I told your grandfather, this is how we've done it for the last thirty years, and no one ever complained ... until now."

"Like I said, I only used the free version," Xander said. "The way I understand it is you can ask the customer what they want and what type of lifestyle they have. Based on that information, it can better design a house for them. For example, we have a giant dining room that we never use. Maybe the buyers are professionals and would prefer two in-home offices instead.

"Knowing that up front would make it easier to put in the proper wiring and office-related features. Better yet, it can redesign the layout to put the offices in spots that make sense instead of simply swapping out the dining room space."

Xander showed Max the website he'd used and pointed out several other AI software options that could assist or replace their current stuff.

Max, armed with the information, departed to face his son.

Once he left, Xander's mom and grandpa wanted to discuss the room colors. They'd met with the buyers of the two homes yet to be painted, and the people weren't thrilled with the choices offered.

"I just uploaded pictures of the rooms and selected options like historical colors," Xander explained. "For example, Dad wanted our home to have a Victorian feel. That period of architecture was between 1830 and 1920. So if you picked that, it would give you color combinations that matched the era.

"I picked Victorian and then chose a color palette they called 'Timeless,' which consisted of colors that could be expected to survive any temporary trend. They have a lot of designs to pick from," Xander said.

"I think I made a mistake in giving them options because we'll be ready to start painting those homes next week, and the customers are now excited about changing colors. Next time, I'll lock them in at the beginning," Grandpa Davidson said.

That made sense. Xander should've guessed it would open Pandora's box. Fortunately, it didn't sound like his customers wanted to change anything already in place, like countertops or tile.

"Sorry, I hadn't thought of that," Xander said.

"It's not your fault," his grandfather assured him.

Xander showed him what he'd done, and his mom watched intently. He had no doubt she'd be the one doing this sort of stuff in the future.

Once they finished, his mom turned to his grandfather.

"What's this I hear about you allowing your grandson to gamble five hundred dollars?"

His grandfather glanced over at Xander, who gave a micro-shrug to let him know Xander would let him handle this.

"Actually, a bit more than thirteen hundred. Xander promised to bring his winnings to this month's game," Grandpa Davidson said.

"You won thirteen hundred dollars?" his mom asked, aghast.

"Xander took them down, and now they all want a piece of him. My money's on him winning a lot of theirs."

Xander had played a lot of poker in his past life and knew that skill didn't always guarantee a win. It only took one unlucky break to lose it all. He'd made it his goal not to be put in that situation. He could always fold if he wasn't sure, though he'd lose a little.

But Xander had an evil plan brewing. He was counting his money before winning it-which meant the poker gods would punish him-but he'd played enough to know it would pay off.

"It's a lot of money, but I guess he needs to learn his lesson now," his mom said.

His grandfather chuckled.

"Xander's confident he's going to win, and after last month, that's understandable. If I remember correctly, he's still a thirteen-year-old, despite all of his supposed maturity. Thirteen-year-olds think they're always right. I'll do you a favor and teach him that lesson."

Xander didn't take the bait. He recognized his grandfather's attempt to get him riled up so he'd make mistakes. He hoped he got seated at his grandfather's table, though. It would be so sweet to take his grandpa down after that jab.

Xander played along, crossing his arms, but he wouldn't look at his laughing mom and grandfather. Let the old man believe he'd gotten under Xander's skin.

He and his mom left to change into their painting clothes so they could finish the house they were working on.

When they came in, his dad was there, and his eyes narrowed, which meant Xander needed to be careful. It usually wasn't an issue because his dad rarely came home until dinnertime. For some reason, he got home early that day.

Xander trudged up the stairs to shower and change out of his work clothes. When he came back downstairs, his parents were arguing. He noted Izzy was smart enough to have stayed upstairs.

"And you..." his father seethed as he turned to Xander. "I learned today that you have enough money to play poker at one of your grandfather's games."

'This is bad,' Xander thought.

He recalled the day they'd moved into their new house. The refrigerator was just inside the back door, waiting to be installed. Xander was carrying a box in when his father backhanded him hard enough that when his head bounced off it, it put a dent in the freezer door. His dad felt he wasn't moving fast enough, even though Xander had hauled in most of the boxes from the moving truck while his dad finished the electrical work.

Xander's older self deduced that the real reason behind his dad's anger was his mom's comment that she expected the house to be move-in ready. Somehow, his dad had gotten the building inspector to give him an occupancy permit.

His dad took any slight to heart and lashed out. Lucky Xander had been his target that day.

He'd not laid a hand on Xander since then. But this seemed like it might escalate quickly, so Xander was on guard.

"It's from the money I earned working for Grandpa Davidson," Xander said.

"Since I pay for everything around here, anything you earn will go to me in the future to pay for your room and board."

'That's not happening.'

"I guess I'll not work anymore," Xander said.

Even his mom flinched at that comment.

'Way to poke the angry bear,' Xander thought.

His dad stood up so quickly that the kitchen chair tipped over.

"What did you just say?"

He didn't give Xander a chance to dig a deeper hole.

"I understand your grandfather set you up with a savings account. We'll go down to the bank tomorrow morning and close the account. I'll use the money for your expenses," his dad said.

"Wayne, that's enough," his mom said.

His dad turned on her and drew back his fist. Xander jumped forward and got between them just in time for his dad to hit him in the eye. Fuck, that hurt. Xander fell against his mom, and they both crashed to the floor.

Izzy had snuck down when she heard their raised voices and witnessed the entire episode. She screamed.

That caused his dad to pause for a moment and consider how this looked. He would happily bully his family behind closed doors, but was conscious of how others outside the family perceived him.

His mom stood up and pointed to the back door.

"Out!"

His dad glared at her. "If anyone's leaving, it's you."

Xander stood and faced his dad.

"If you don't leave, I'll call the cops."

His dad slugged him again, this time in the mouth. Xander's head snapped back, and he again dropped to the floor, already out.

Xander came to just as the ambulance arrived. Police had his dad in handcuffs while his mom and sister sat at the kitchen table, crying. His grandfather came storming in.

"You son of a bitch," Grandpa Davidson growled. "I can't believe a grown man would take his hand to a thirteen-year-old boy. I ought to take you out back and horsewhip you."

"Easy, sir," one of the patrolmen said. "Let us handle this."

By this point, his dad was subdued; he realized he'd gone too far. Wayne mumbled an apology, something he'd never done in Xander's previous life.

Xander tried to refuse to go to the hospital, but the police officer said they needed his injuries documented. Besides, he'd been knocked out, so they wanted to check his head.

From there, it turned into a total clusterfuck. Xander didn't get home until nearly three in the morning, while his dad spent the night in jail. Xander's grandparents spent the night at the house.

When he rolled out of bed at ten, his mom and grandparents sat at the kitchen table.

" ... temporary restraining order. Oh, hey, Xander, how are you feeling?" Grandma Davidson asked.

"I have a headache, but I'm fine otherwise."

"Let me make you breakfast," his mom said.

"I can do it. I'll just grab a bowl of cereal and let you guys get back to whatever you were doing before I came downstairs."

"Before you do that, sit down. I need to talk to you," his mom said.

He took a seat as his mom built up her courage.

"I think I want to divorce your father. I just need time to determine whether I can afford to do so."

"It shouldn't be a problem. Dad doesn't have a loan on the house, and all the vehicles are in your name," Xander said.

"Say what?" his mom asked.

"How do you know?" Grandpa Davidson asked.

"I might've run across some stuff in Dad's office," Xander improvised.

In reality, he remembered all this from his parents' divorce the previous time around. Then, his mom was pissed because she'd waited until Izzy moved out of the house to take action. If she followed through on this now, she would avoid years of abuse.

That was another matter. Years later, Xander's mom admitted that his dad used to hit her as well. Xander never suspected.

"If we can keep the house and just pay utilities, I can get a part-time job so we can get by," his mom said.

"Nope. I don't want that son of-that man to have anything over you," Grandma Davidson said. "We'll buy him out, and you can work for the company."

His mom looked at his grandfather.

"I planned to talk to you about working for me full-time anyway," Grandpa Davidson said. "You'll be fine. We have plenty of money, so consider this part of your inheritance."

Mom took a deep breath and let it out slowly. A slight grin touched her lips.

"Finally," she whispered.

His dad wasn't going to go easily, but when Xander called and told him he'd drop the charges if his dad agreed to the divorce, reality set in. Wayne's lawyer must have explained that he would face jail time if he lost. Plus, his dad didn't need the negative press.

So, by New Year's, his parents were divorced, done in record time because his grandfather had better connections than Xander ever realized. It turned out the judge was the woman he'd met at poker, Kathy Grimes-Barb's mom.

On New Year's Eve, Xander reflected on how everything had gone. Pam broke up with him when he hadn't chosen her over poker. The sad part was that he hadn't even gotten to play poker. Consequently, his title as Rizzmaster rolled over to Steve, who dated Stacy. Actually, they were the only couple still dating after the dance.

Xander's grades had improved to an A/B average instead of all B's, mostly due to his new study habits. They had nothing to do with his having already taken all these classes since the old man in him had forgotten all that stuff.

Besides, who needed to know the square root of some random number when you could just ask your device for the answer? Better yet, why would you need to know the square root of anything in your daily life? Of course, it was that attitude that caused Xander to get a B in math.

The other big event was that his grandfather sold the three houses to families with kids.

The house closest to them had the Turner sisters: Connie, Julie, and Pippa. Connie, three years older than Xander, dated the high school quarterback. Two years younger than Connie was Julie, who Xander had dated and lost his virginity to in his junior year in his previous life. The youngest sister, Pippa, was his age. She never dated anyone until she met a guy a few towns over during her senior year. Not that guys weren't interested because Pippa was an early developer with big, round breasts that every girl would've killed for.

Next to them lived the Millers, who had two sons: Tim, Xander's age, and Brian, three years older and Xander's nemesis.

Finally, the Thomas family had a daughter, Lisa, who was Izzy's age, and a son, Cliff, who was a few years younger than his sister. Cliff was adopted, and Xander remembered he'd eventually ended up in jail for stealing cars.

Xander, Izzy, and his mom were sitting in front of the TV, waiting for the ball to drop.

"Your dad is pushing for visitations," his mom announced.

"That's fine," Xander said.

Izzy and his mom both looked at him in disbelief.

"You know as well as I do he'll be too busy to have us over more than a couple of times a year. It's not worth fighting about," Xander explained.

"I don't want to see him after what he did to Xander," Izzy said.

"I'll look out for you," Xander promised.

Izzy remained unconvinced, but his mom reached over and squeezed Xander's knee to say thanks. She would work on Izzy and persuade her later.

It was finally time for the countdown. Of course, they broadcast this from New York, so it was an hour early, but they always acted like it was midnight.

"Five ... four ... three ... two ... one ... happy birthday, Xander!"

Yep, he was a January-first baby. The family tradition was to have cake and presents after the ball dropped. Izzy rushed to the kitchen to get the cake while his mom stepped over to the closet where she'd hidden his presents.

German chocolate was his favorite cake, and he wasn't disappointed. He chuckled when all his presents were clothes a size too big for him. It was understandable because he'd grown to be five-nine and 128 pounds. He was glad to see new size eleven tennis shoes because he could barely force his feet into his current ones.

Xander's workouts had started to show results: he was beginning to have some muscle definition. He wasn't ripped by any means, but Xander was no longer embarrassed to take his shirt off-the thought of that reminded him of his concern his first time around.

The only part that sucked was that his coordination was shit. His grandfather assured him it would get better with time. 

The Friday after New Year's, Xander heard music coming from the Turners' house. He peered out his bedroom window and saw cars parked everywhere. With all the noise he heard, it added up to a party.

His mom and Izzy had gone back to Dallas to get some stuff out of storage there that his mom wanted. His dad had informed her he wouldn't renew the storage unit's monthly lease, so she had until mid-month to clean it out.

Xander had gotten out of helping because his grandfather had started clearing the lots for the next wave of houses he planned to build. Grandpa Davidson had put Xander on log-splitting and wood-chipping duty until he returned to school.

Xander's mom and Izzy planned to catch up with friends, so they wouldn't return until the next weekend, right before school started. Xander assured his mom he'd survive a week without parental supervision. He knew he could count on his grandparents if something came up that he couldn't handle. Xander suspected numerous unannounced visits would occur.

The old man inside him wanted to call the police and file a noise complaint, but that would be social suicide since the partiers were all high schoolers. His teen self wanted to go to his first party where alcohol was being served. A beer or three might be just what he needed.

Xander threw on a sweatshirt so he wouldn't have to wear a jacket. He didn't want his coat to disappear before he went home. He'd just gotten a new one, and his mom would pitch a fit if it went missing.

Xander found the Turners' front door cracked open, so he walked in. The house was designed so that people entered on the second floor. Since the lot dropped off toward the back where the lake was, the change of elevation allowed folks to walk out of the lower level.

The lower floor held a family room-aka kids' room-and three bedrooms for the girls, while the living area, kitchen, and main bedroom for the parents were upstairs.

About fifty teens were milling around, drinking and talking loudly. He stopped one of the older boys and asked, "Where can I get a beer?"

"The keg's on the deck. Go through the kitchen."

Xander donated ten bucks for a plastic cup and poured himself a beer.

"Look who showed up," a girl said.

Xander turned and smiled. It was Kelly, Pam's BFF, along with Pippa, the youngest Turner daughter.

"Ladies. Are you having fun?"

"More now that you're here. Come dance. The older boys are ignoring us," Kelly said.

Pippa nodded her agreement, so Xander drank half his beer and followed them into the living room, where a few older girls danced in groups or with guys.

Two beers later, Xander noted Pippa and Kelly were showing the effects of their drinking. They'd started before him, imbibing a punch drink that must've had a kick, and were now all giggles and a little unsure on their feet. The two girls were all but hanging on Xander, which didn't bother him in the least.

"I need to go lie down," Pippa announced, abandoning them, enjoying the benefit of having the party at her house.

"I guess it's just us. What do you want to-" Xander got out before Kelly suddenly fastened her lips to his.

"Let's go somewhere more private," Xander said once they came up for air because they'd gained an audience.

Kelly giggled.

"You're a naughty boy. You just want to take advantage of me."

"The thought had crossed my mind."

'Where did that come from?' Xander wondered. It wasn't because he was buzzed. All the dancing had made him sweat out all the effects of the alcohol.

"Good," Kelly said, grabbed his hand, and led him downstairs.

When they reached the family room, they found a couple on the couch, making out. Knowing the layout of the house, Xander led Kelly to a hall leading to the laundry room and mechanicals, a perfect spot for some privacy. Once alone, they began to make out.

She wrapped her arms around his neck so she could kiss him, and Xander didn't resist. Their lips were like magnets as they came together. Kelly parted her lips, their tongues touched, and tingles of excitement shot through him. Xander became more aggressive and pressed his tongue into Kelly's mouth.

Xander didn't want to push his luck, so he placed his hands on Kelly's hips and didn't let them wander. Kelly, on the other hand, showed less restraint. She slid her hands under his sweatshirt and rubbed his chest and stomach, which caused a predictable problem: the front of his pants bulged. Wearing jeans a size too big kept him from tearing a hole in them.

The devil on his shoulder encouraged Xander to take advantage of the situation, while the angel was nowhere to be found-raging teen hormones had tied the angel up. If his old self hadn't slowed things down, he would've thrown Kelly against the wall and dry-humped her.

"Yesss..." echoed into the hallway, occasionally followed by, "Oh baby ... nice."

Kelly and Xander continued making out to the background of moans from the nearby room.

"Carl, no. We can't do that here."

"Don't worry; no one will come downstairs. Take your top off for me."

Kelly broke their kiss and giggled. She grabbed Xander's hand, pulled him down the hall, and they peeked around the corner. The oldest Turner sister, Connie, had pulled her shirt up and wasn't wearing a bra.

Her boyfriend, Carl King, was the starting quarterback and only a junior. He would lead the football team again next year.

As soon as her breast appeared, Carl leaned down and sucked on her nipple, which caused Connie to whimper.

Kelly gasped and covered her mouth in surprise.

Xander pressed up behind her as he wrapped his hands around her midriff and nuzzled her neck. Kelly spun around and pushed Xander back to resume making out. This time, he let his hands slide down and cup her butt as he kissed her.

It seemed Kelly had done this before. It made Xander wonder who she'd practiced on because he wanted to personally thank them as Kelly pressed herself against him and rubbed herself against his raging hard-on.

Meanwhile, it sounded like Carl knew what he was doing because Connie's moaning increased in volume. Xander tuned them out to focus on Kelly when he heard, "Suck my cock, baby."

'Suck my cock?'

Kelly and Xander stopped kissing and stared at each other. By some unspoken agreement, they crept down the hall to see what was happening. They saw Carl sprawled on his back on the couch, stark naked. Xander took in the male figure and mentally compared it to his. Carl had obviously benefited from working out and, being older, had more muscle definition.

It gave Xander an idea of what he wanted to work toward, especially if it meant a girl as attractive as Connie might want to suck his cock someday. He vowed he would never let his body go in this timeline.

Shirtless, Connie positioned herself so her head hovered over Carl's cock. Her breasts weren't large by Xander's porn standards, but they appeared firm and had zero sag to them. She grasped Carl's dick at the base to make it stand straight up so she could lick the glistening tip as Carl leaked pre-cum.

"Ever see something like this?" Kelly whispered.

"Never live, but I've watched some porn."

"Maybe you can show me sometime. My parents have locked our internet, so I can't watch stuff like that."

Xander marveled at what a good girl Kelly must be because everyone he knew had figured out how to bypass the parental settings ages ago. All you had to do was search for a how-to video, which made it dead simple.

Xander reasoned that the controls were created to give parents peace of mind rather than keep horny teen boys from having spank material to reduce stress. God only knew what would happen if teen boys were deprived of their access and ran around with constant raging hard-ons. They'd be humping everything in sight. Try explaining why little Jimmy was getting busy with a pillow when company arrived.

Xander and Kelly were mesmerized as Connie locked her lips around the head of Carl's cock and slid it into her mouth, inch by inch.

"It's so big," Kelly purred. "How can she-?"

Kelly gasped when Connie took all six inches of Carl's cock, and Xander's member throbbed at the sight of her nose pressed into Carl's pubic hair.

Xander had a 'little Jimmy' moment as he unconsciously slid his hand under Kelly's t-shirt and grasped her breast. At the same time, he pushed his bulge against her firm bottom. Watching a live sex show was much better than the internet.

Xander pushed Kelly's hair out of the way to nibble on her neck. She seemed pleased when she pressed her butt back and ground against him.

"Are all guys that big?" Kelly asked in a whisper as her hands reached back and rubbed the sides of Xander's butt.

Connie's head was bobbing up and down Carl's wet shaft.

"They come in all shapes and sizes," Xander replied in kind. "I would guess Carl is average."

Xander froze when Kelly slid her hands between them to find his cock. She used both her hands to grasp his length, causing him to suck in his breath. She turned to give him a wicked smile over her shoulder.

"You've been hiding this. Wait until I tell the girls that Xander Thornwood has a bigger one than Carl King."

"Do you want me to tell the guys what great tits you have?" Xander asked.

Kelly giggled. He took that as a 'yes.' The least they could do was promote each other to their classmates.

"Fuck, yeah!" Carl groaned as he grabbed Connie's head to force his cock further into her mouth.

Connie gagged as Carl pumped his baby-makers into her throat. When he finished cumming, Carl slumped back with his eyes closed.

"Carl ... Carl!" Connie said, shaking his shoulder. "Motherfucker! Did you just pass out and leave me hanging?!"

Xander and Kelly tried to hold it in, but couldn't help laughing.

"Who's there?" Connie demanded.

Kelly slipped behind Xander to hide.

"Sorry. We didn't mean to watch," Xander said as he entered the room. He heard a door close behind him, which meant Kelly wouldn't face Connie. He figured Kelly could leave through a back door if she wanted to make good her escape.

"Who were you with?"

Xander looked back and shrugged.

"If I had to guess, my mystery girl just made a run for it so she doesn't have to face your wrath," Xander said. "Do you need help with him?"

"I want to kick his ass," Connie said without covering up.

Xander smiled.

"Do you have a magic marker? We can draw on him and take a picture to remember the night."

"Who are you?" Connie asked as she slipped on her shirt.

"I'm your neighbor, Xander Thornwood."

"Let me go get the markers," Connie said.

Welp, Carl would regret his lack of performance.

Connie was an artist. She first drew a set of boobs on Carl and then had Xander roll her boyfriend over. Next, she drew a sign on his back that said 'glory hole' with an arrow pointing down and used some Vaseline to lube his ass. Then Connie opened a packet of mayo-the sort you got at a drive-through-to make it look like something unthinkable had occurred.

Xander worried Connie might be going too far when she grabbed a candle. She shoved it between Carl's butt cheeks to make it even worse. Xander wanted to believe she hadn't violated him. If this had happened to Xander, his first thought would have gone into the gutter. He was sure his brain would convince him he'd been despoiled.

Xander had two reactions: first, remember to never, ever piss Connie off. The second was that he wanted to be her new best friend. Anyone this talented and evil was someone he wanted in his life.

She applied the finishing touch when she lit the candle.

Once she'd gotten her Kodak moment and removed the candle, Connie looked at Xander and said, "Help me get this dumbass home. His parents will kill him if he spends the night."

That was when he knew she hadn't entirely gone to the dark side. She cared enough to keep Carl from getting reamed by the parental units.

Connie put Xander in charge of sitting Carl up so she could put his shirt on him. They skipped his underwear, stuffing them into his front pocket, and Connie simply slid his jeans back into place. Then Xander had to carry Carl to his car. It was true what they said about dead weight; Xander was breathing hard by the time he got Carl in the back seat of his car.

"I'll drive," Xander said because Connie seemed to be feeling the effects of the party.

Connie didn't even think about it and tossed him the keys. Fortunately, it was like riding a bike: you never forgot how to drive. They were silent during the trip to Carl's house.

"How should we do this?" Xander asked as he parked in the driveway.

"If it were anyone else, I would just lean him against the front door, ring the doorbell, and let his parents deal with his drunk ass. We need to drag him to his room and dump him in bed."

"Won't his parents hear us and come investigate?"

"If they do, let me handle it," Connie said.

Xander struggled to get Carl out of the back seat. After he was out of the car, Xander was able to hoist him over his shoulder and carry Carl to the front door.

"Keys," Connie said as she held out her hand.

"They're in my front pocket."

She gave him the evil eye but relented, pushed her hand into his pocket, and found the keys. Connie flipped through them until she had the house key and used it to open the front door. She led the way to Carl's bedroom, where Xander dumped drunkie onto his unmade twin-size bed.

Xander took a moment to look around. Carl's room was a mess, reminding Xander of his room before he returned and cleaned up his act. Carl's dresser was covered in athletic trophies, and his walls had pictures of muscle cars.

"Let's go," Connie said and led him out of the house.

After they locked up, she tossed him Carl's keys.

"I'll bring it back tomorrow," Connie said.

Xander started the car and then turned to back it up since the reverse camera didn't seem to be working. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done this without one-in the future, cars would have the ability to self-drive to simplify this. So Xander was concentrating on what he was doing when her hand touched his upper thigh and slid onto his package.

Xander hit the brakes and looked down.

"You've been such a good boy so far tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to help a girl out," Connie said.

"If it involves my dick and you touching it, count me in."

Connie started to undo his pants, but then stopped.

"Drive," she ordered.

He'd backed out of the driveway and onto the main road. He put the car into gear as she freed his dick from its confinement.

"This will do nicely," Connie said to herself as she pushed his foreskin off the tip of his dick to expose the head.

A moment later, Xander almost wrecked as Connie leaned down and blew him.

This was a completely new experience for him. He was obviously a virgin in this timeline, but in his past one, he'd never had a girl undo his pants and go straight to sucking his cock. Xander also decided to write a strongly worded letter to the pocket pussy people because this felt ten times better. They must have sold him a defective device.

"If you're going to do that, I need to pull over," Xander hissed, not wanting to get them killed.

"Boys are all the same: they can't seem to multitask," Connie wisecracked.

"When a man is having his dick expertly sucked, it's rude not to give that all his attention."

"I'll be good while you drive," Connie promised.

That didn't mean she let go of her new favorite chew toy.

Xander managed to get them back to her house in one piece. Once he parked the car, Connie filled her mouth with his man meat.

Xander rolled his window down so the cloudless night's cold air would clear his head, providing some much-needed perspective. He was with one half of West Fork High School's power couple. If word got out that Connie had sucked his cock while Carl was passed out, Xander would be lynched.

The crucial fact that made him hesitant to stop a fantastic blowjob was that he knew Connie had more to lose than he did. There was no way she would tell anyone this had happened. Thankfully, his older self would prevent teen Xander from bragging about his conquest.

Teen Xander was currently a drooling mess as he tried to wrap his feeble mind around the fact that a high school junior had her lips wrapped around his shaft.

He whispered her name as she dragged her tongue down his member's length. Xander rested his shoulder against the car door. She looked up, watching the pleasure on his face as she took him into her mouth, her tongue caressing the smooth flesh. Connie continued to tease and suck on him.

His reaction must have emboldened her as she took the tip into her mouth again. Xander almost jerked off the front seat as Connie's tongue caressed a sensitive spot around the crown of his dick.

"That's even better," he rumbled.

She pulled off for a moment to smile at him.

"I finally found the perfect dick to practice on," Connie said.

"Anything you need."

She clearly didn't yet have the experience to be a world-class cocksucker, but her enthusiasm made up for it. He wasn't about to complain because what she was doing felt great. He could tell she wanted him to lose control.

Xander reached down to stroke her hair. His youth didn't take much longer to catch up with him. As Xander came apart, he thrust his hips up, pushing his manhood as deep as it would go. Unlike when she blew Carl, Connie couldn't get the last couple of inches into her mouth. Xander trembled wildly as she used her hand to pump his shaft to get every last drop out of him.

Xander was spaced out after such a life-changing cum. He remembered the first time in his past life, and it hadn't been nearly as good.

Suddenly, Connie kissed him. It took him a moment to realize he'd never tasted his own cum before. She pushed her tongue and his spend into Xander's mouth and segued into aggressively making out with him.

His inexperienced self was squicked out, but his more mature self realized that he'd just shot his load into Connie's mouth without even asking permission. He was being forced to share and savor his own salty leavings with her.

She pulled back to see how he would react.

Xander grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into another deep French kiss.

Once they pulled apart, Xander said, "I probably deserved that."

Connie looked at him curiously.

"You're different."

"In what way?" Xander asked.

Connie ignored his question and asked, "Are you willing to go down on me?"

"I'd love to, but I have to warn you, I've never done it before. You'd have to tell me how you want it," Xander said.

"Like I said, you're different," she said, and when Xander frowned, Connie added, "In the best possible way."

"Was that kiss some kind of test?" Xander asked.

Connie shook her head.

"Honestly, it was payback for not warning me and giving me the choice of where I wanted you to cum."

"Sorry. It all happened so fast, and I was lost in the moment. I'll try to do better next time," Xander said, praying there would be a 'next time.'

Connie chuckled.

"This will probably never happen again. I'm with Carl and don't want to mess that up. You caught me when he'd pissed me off by acting like a selfish pig, and you helped me take his drunk ass home. Consider that a onetime thank you."

"To be clear, I understand and would never do anything to hurt your relationship with Carl. I was happy to help and didn't expect you to do anything in return. Your doing that with me means a lot. I hope we can become friends because a teen guy like myself may need to ask someone a bit older for advice.

"On top of that, I think you're special-not 'special ed' special, but someone I think I can trust. Someone who knows what girls think and can translate their craziness for me," Xander said.

"How old are you?" Connie asked suspiciously.

"Age is just a number..." Xander replied, launching into some bullshit spin attempt.

Connie gave him a look that he clearly could decipher, so he came clean.

"Fourteen. Pippa's in my class."

"F-me! I just sucked off a middle schooler?!"

"On the positive side, you certainly did an outstanding job of it. If I could give you a review, it would be five stars. If you're ever looking for more middle schoolers to do that with, I can provide a list," Xander said.

'FUCK! She's crushing my balls!'

"Sorry ... sorry," Xander managed to gasp.

That was another valuable lesson: don't act like a smartass when your balls are exposed. It was the hard lessons that he learned the best.

Connie released her grip.

"For only being a middle schooler, you amuse me. I'll give you my number so you can ask your questions. Just don't abuse the privilege."

"Not to be too forward, but if you ever are in need, I am very discreet," Xander said as he slapped his palm over his family jewels.

"I wouldn't hold my breath, if you know what I mean," Connie said.

"Fair enough. I just don't want you to think, just because I'm young, that I'm not interested in being of assistance."

"I'm fully aware of what you want to do with me," Connie said.

"Like right now ... if you're on edge..."

"Get out of the car and go home," Connie ordered.

"Just saying," Xander said with a wink, which earned him a slap on the arm.

He returned his junk to where it belonged and got out of the car. He bit his bottom lip because Connie would be at his door the next morning: Xander had Carl's keys.

Xander had to use his pocket pussy three times before his dick finally settled down enough for him to get to sleep.

The following day, Xander was in the shower when the curtain was flung open. His mom was an old movie aficionado, and this reminded him of the shower scene in Psycho. He squealed like Izzy when she found a bug in her room and crashed into the wall, trying to protect himself from a plunging knife.

"Big baby," Connie said.

"Bite me. I'm here all alone, and some crazy person ripped the shower curtain open. What should I have done?" Xander asked indignantly.

"When it's a gorgeous woman, you invite her to join you," Connie teased.

"If I thought there was a hope in hell, I would," Xander said.

Connie raised one eyebrow as she checked his body out. She might have murmured, 'Nice butt,' but he wasn't sure.

"I know you're just baiting me, but since I'm only fourteen, I'll throw caution to the wind. Care to join me?" Xander asked.

"I'm here because I need Carl's keys, and you didn't answer the door."

"Right," Xander said and turned off the shower, stepped out, and grabbed his towel.

He quickly dried off and walked naked back to his room. If Connie wanted to be a perv, he wasn't about to disappoint her.

Xander was halfway back to his room when a random thought popped into his mind: why was he walking naked? At that age, in his previous go-around, his teen self had been body shy and would've never walked brazenly naked in front of Connie. Then it hit him.

His older self had been in and out of the hospital. After a hospital stay, all worries about what others thought about your body flew out the window. Doctors and nurses constantly saw you at your worst. After a while, he'd just blocked it out.

"Are you some kind of nudist?" Connie asked.

"Remember? Fourteen-year-old boy, all alone in a big house with no supervision. How else should I be dressed?"

"I see what you mean. Maybe I should start doing that," Connie said.

"No one's stopping you," Xander quipped.

"Kids these days," Connie said.

"Please. You're just jealous you didn't think of it."

"So, you plan to be naked the whole time your mom and sister are gone?" Connie asked.

"Why not? Feel free to stop by if you want a show," Xander teased.

"If you wouldn't mind putting on a pair of shorts, that would be great."

"Anything you want," Xander said, making sure to bend at the waist and wiggle his butt at Connie as he stepped into a pair of shorts by his bed. "Happy?"

She glanced at the bulge caused by the erection that had popped up and rolled her eyes as she held out her hand.

"Keys."

He found them and handed them to her. As Connie turned to leave, Xander called after her, "I'll be naked all week."

She didn't look back as she flipped him off.

'So there's a chance,' Xander thought.

Xander waited all week, but Connie never came over. So much for wishful thinking that a middle schooler could pull a high school junior.

Interestingly, Pippa stopped by mid-week while he was working at the new building sites.

Even though it was barely above freezing out, he was sweating his ass off, manhandling the chopped-down trees.

"Hey," she said shyly.

"Hey, yourself."

She wouldn't look him in the eye, so he was a dick and waited her out. She was obviously uncomfortable.

"Uhm ... so..." Pippa faltered.

"Yes?"

"Are you and Kelly dating now?"

"If we are, I wasn't told," Xander said.

"Oh ... okay."

Pippa gave him a tight smile, turned, and left him standing there.

'That was different,' Xander thought and returned to work.

His mom and Izzy got home on Sunday. Xander had made stew in the slow cooker and biscuits he'd found in the freezer.

Izzy came bounding in, sniffing the air like a bloodhound tracking a scent.

"I must be in the wrong house. Did grandma help you?"

His mom was right behind her and appeared confused as well.

"I've survived a whole week without your abuse," Xander teased. "I have access to the Internet. If you looked it up, I bet even you could make something edible."

"I don't care who made it; I'm starved," his mom said. "Izzy, please set the table so we can eat."

They sat down, and his mom and sister each took a bite and looked up in surprise.

"It's settled. You can cook from now on," his mom declared.

"I'm sure you'd get sick of stew after a while," Xander said.

"You've been holding out," Izzy said. "What did you eat while we were gone?"

"Manly stuff. I mostly grilled."

"Since you're such a man, you can unload the van after dinner. For now, just stack it all up in your dad's parking spot in the garage," his mom said. "And Izzy can clean up after we eat."

"What are you going to do?" Xander asked.

"I'm taking a long, hot bath. Traffic was terrible in Dallas, and I never want to go back. I'm exhausted."

"What happened while we were gone?" Izzy asked.

He thought for a moment and realized that news of the party would reach either Izzy or his mom soon. He decided it would be better if he told them.

"Our new neighbors had a party, so I crashed it," Xander said. "I guess Mr. and Mrs. Turner went somewhere for the weekend."

"I see. And what did you do?" his mom asked.

"Not much more than I did at the dance, except I didn't punch anyone."

He recognized that his mom wasn't done with her questions, but she let it go for the moment.

On Monday, Xander stepped into the lunch line behind Pippa.

"You eating with anyone?" Xander asked.

Pippa glanced around until she figured out he was talking to her.

"Oh ... uh ... not really."

"Good. Please join me," Xander said.

"Uhm ... sure."

She waited for him to pay. He walked over to the Princesses' table and sat beside Pam.

"You know Pippa, don't you?" Xander asked as he and Pippa sat down.

"Kelly said she went to your party," Pam said to Pippa.

The rest of the gang joined them, so Xander made sure that they knew who Pippa was. It was a small school, so they all did. Pippa said shy hellos and then sat quietly.

"Xander is Pippa's neighbor," Kelly said to help explain why he invited her to lunch.

"But you don't ride our bus," Pam said.

"She has older sisters who give her a ride," Xander said to help Pippa out.

"Kelly told me you kissed her," Pam said.

"I was thanking her for dancing with me," Xander said.

"You never kissed me after we danced," Barb complained.

"I'm so sorry," Xander said, standing up and walking around the table.

He held his hand out and helped Barb stand before leaning in and kissing her in the middle of the lunchroom, which caught everyone's attention.

"Did I miss anyone else?" Xander asked.

The other girls he'd danced with declined a kiss, but Pippa tentatively raised her hand to about shoulder height. Xander sat down next to Pippa and kissed her cheek, causing her to blush.

"Hey, Xander!" Kevin called across the lunchroom. "You're officially the Rizzmaster again! Steve just lost his crown."

Xander said something rude under his breath. Apparently, it was loud enough for the girls at his table to hear because they laughed at his discomfort.

"Kelly told me something else. Is it true?" Pam asked.

"If it's what I think, I will happily tell you when we're alone."

It was Pam's turn to blush.

"What are you talking about?" Stacy asked.

"Xander says I have nice tits," Kelly said.

"How would he know that?" Peggy asked.

"Yes, Kelly, how would I?" Xander asked.

Kelly's face told the girls all they needed to know. For some reason, Xander was kicked off the table for 'girl talk.'

He took his lunch tray to the guys' table.

"Dude, what did you do to get exiled?" Donnie asked.

"No idea."

Gasps could be heard from the girls' table, and in unison, the girls all turned and stared at Xander. He gave Kelly a hooded look. She at least had the decency to look down at her lunch.

"Why are they all looking at you?" KJ asked.

"No idea."

"Yeah, right. You seem to have 'no idea' about a lot of stuff," Kevin said.

"If you were smart, you would have no idea about a lot of stuff when it comes to women," Xander fired back.

"Dude!" Donnie said, trying to get him to fist-bump him.

Xander rolled his eyes and left Donnie hanging.

"I will say one thing: Kelly has excellent tits," Xander said.

"Whoa!" Donnie said as every guy turned and stared at Kelly.

Xander gave her a little smile and stuck the tip of his tongue out to signal he'd just paid her back. The little vixen lifted her head and pulled her shoulders back to better display her assets.

"They are nice," Mike said with sudden interest.

The guys caught Xander up on everything they'd done over the break. Donnie claimed to have nailed some girl at a New Year's Eve party. He further claimed she was a college girl, which caused John to spin another tale. Thankfully, the bell rang to end lunch.

Xander hurried up and walked out with Pippa.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"They invited me back tomorrow. Thanks."

"They're a good bunch. They'll make good friends," Xander said.

Pippa gave him a little smile as they parted to go to their lockers.

While he waited for the bus, Kelly and Pam tracked him down.

"John Tyler asked me out," Kelly announced. "We should double-date."

Pam looked hopefully at Xander.

"I had no idea you were into that kind of stuff. Have you told John?" Xander asked, acting scandalized.

Pam cracked up while Kelly looked confused.

"Xander thinks he's being funny. He's implying it will just be the three of you."

Kelly's mouth fell open, and she turned to glare at Xander.

"You know what I meant: ask Pam out," Kelly demanded.

"I have no idea what we're doing, but if you want to do it with me, I would like to ask you to join us," Xander said.

"When Kelly knows, I'll make sure to tell you," Pam said.

Xander reached down and held her hand. Pam snuggled up next to him.

When the bus pulled up, Pam led him to the back. Some grade schoolers had made the mistake of taking the back seats. Pam just gave them the laser death glare, and all the grade schoolers headed toward the front of the bus.

Once the proper pecking order was reestablished, Pam pushed Xander into one of the back seats, with Kelly in the one across from them. Pam made a big show of kissing Xander to publicly re-stake her claim.

'I guess we're dating again,' Xander thought, a bit confused.

The old man had to calm down young Xander because Pam had flaked out before when he didn't do as she demanded. Did he want someone to boss him around or to be an equal? In the short term, having the queen bee seen as his girlfriend would undeniably raise his popularity.

Again, the old man raised his objection because he didn't give a fuck about popularity.

Xander decided to play along for now because nothing official had been said. Going out on a date didn't mean they were back together.

Pam and Kelly had their heads together all the way to their stop, so Xander just stared out the window. He began to question whether he could handle the drama that seemed to be unfolding.

As she got off at her stop, Pam said she'd call him later.

Two older girls were sitting in front of him, and he happened to catch part of their whispered conversation.

"His cock was so small that I didn't even feel it. I need to find someone with a big one so I can find out how it feels."

Xander smiled because he remembered overhearing this conversation his last time through. He'd not acted on it because he wasn't confident he might not have a tiny cock as well, and didn't want to be ridiculed.

Then he remembered who was sitting there: Chantel Darling and Brandi Nichols, who were both freshmen. They lived in the trailer park that was the stop before his, and were basically ignored by everyone. It wasn't all due to their looks-neither girl was what you would call good-looking-though they did have features that would interest most teen boys.

Chantel had the beginnings of a body that would make her excellent money as either a stripper or a porn star. She had platinum blonde hair that had come from a bottle, wide hips, and the start of an impressive rack. If Xander remembered correctly, she'd fucked half the football team her senior year.

The guys joked that if they closed their eyes, they were fine.

Brandi was a tiny girl, all of four-ten. Xander had gotten a predilection for small girl/big dick porn in his past life, and Brandi was the type of girl that made his dick hard. Her best feature was a fantastic ass.

He wasn't sure what had happened to her because she'd moved by her junior year. If he remembered correctly, her dad was a trucker and got a job down south.

Of the two, he would've bet anything that the words he'd just heard came out of Chantel's mouth. He was surprised it was Brandi who was looking for dick.

The old man basically told the kid to hold his beer.

"I could help you out," Xander said.

Both girls slowly turned around to look at him.

"But you're a middle schooler," Chantel challenged.

"That wasn't the requirement."

They looked at each other and then back at Xander.

"Prove it," Brandi said.

His young self folded, and the old man took over.

"Why don't you come back here, and I'll show you?" Xander suggested.

Brandi glanced around, but no one seemed to be listening to them. Xander was shocked when she got up and slid into his seat. Still, he unzipped his jeans and grabbed Brandi's hand.

"Slow down. What are you doing?" Brandi asked.

"You wanted to find out, and I don't plan on exposing myself ... so..."

She reached inside his fly and found his stiff member. Her eyes got big, and she blinked.

"Well?" Chantel asked.

Brandi's hand jerked out of his jeans like she'd been bitten by a snake.

"Uhm."

"You want me to get off at your stop?" Xander asked.

Brandi suddenly looked panicked.

"Not today; my dad's home. But he leaves tomorrow for five days. Can we do it then?"

Xander at first couldn't believe his ears. He took a moment to consider the logistics. He needed to get a car like yesterday. It was only a mile and a half from the trailer park to his home, which wasn't so bad, except it was all uphill. Xander would bring his gym clothes and just run home afterward.

"That works," he said.

Xander was chipping branches when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. It was Connie, so he turned off the machine. She seemed amused.

"I thought I would be proactive because I'm sure you need advice," Connie said.

"I do?"

"Pippa has talked nonstop about how you introduced her to the Princesses and that she's been invited to have lunch with them. After hearing about your exploits, I think my sister's in love with you."

"Uhm ... okay."

Connie shook her head in disgust.

"You boys are all the same. You have no idea what's best for you."

Xander held up a hand.

"No, slow down, Connie; I think you need some context."

"I'm listening," she said.

"The first time I ever spent any time with your sister was at your party. I danced with her and ... uhm ... the girl that bailed when you needed some help," Xander said.

"Yeah, I know: Kelly Flint."

'Why do I even try?' Xander wondered.

"Anyway. The unnamed girl and I were making out while ... you know..."

Connie motioned for him to carry on.

"So your sister showed up the other day while I was working and acted weird. I wondered if maybe she wanted to see my dick," Xander said.

"Say what?!"

"Yeah, I know; I finally figured out she's shy. But I had a reason to believe that because the unnamed girl felt my package and decided I have a big dick," Xander said.

That caused Connie to have a genuine belly laugh, which made Xander's right eye twitch.

"The reason I thought that was that the unnamed girl threatened to spread the word that I have an impressive package. Knowing this town, I assumed Pippa heard, and that was why she was acting nervous," he explained.

"Okay, I can see that because the rumor mill around here is legendary," Connie said, then asked, "Why did you invite Pippa to lunch?"

"Because I realized I was wrong, and she seems not to have many friends. I eat lunch with the Princesses about once a week and figured they would accept Pippa. I hoped it might give her some confidence."

"So you didn't do it to get into my sister's pants?"

"No, but word has gotten out, and part of it is my fault. I do need some advice," Xander said.

He explained his situation with Pam and what happened with Chantel and Brandi.

"Let's deal with the Chantel and Brandi thing first. I don't know either of them, but I've heard rumors about Chantel," Connie said.

Xander got a dreamy look to pull Connie's chain and said, "She's so sweet and innocent. I just adore her."

"Sweet and innocent? Hah!" Connie said. "She's the biggest slut at West Fork High. I hate to speak ill of a fellow girl, but hell, she gives up the pussy like she's handing out free ice cream cones in the middle of August."

"Sounds like you know something."

"Yes, I do. Carl has snuck off with her a time or two and thinks I don't know," Connie admitted.

Xander couldn't see Connie not knowing Chantel like she said. But then, if she did, she would have at least had a few words with her about poaching her boyfriend. Then something else struck him.

"You should even the score," Xander said, then bit his bottom lip.

"Not happening, middle-schooler."

"What about Brandi? Any rumors?"

"No. I say you punch your V-card and get that out of the way. If Brandi really is dumb enough to do it with you, then have at it. I would wear a condom, though, if she was talking about fucking some other boy. Those two hang around some guys I wouldn't want to follow, if you get my meaning," Connie said.

"That's sort of a problem. Where am I going to get condoms?"

Her expression told him he was an idiot.

"Fourteen, remember?" he asked.

"Don't they give them away at school?" Connie asked.

"Middle school? You can't be serious," Xander said.

She chuckled.

"Okay, you're right. Tell you what: I'll take you somewhere so you can buy them."

"You'll need to come in and help me pick them out."

"Why?"

"Because there are like a bunch of different kinds. Plus, you've seen my dick. Do I have to get the extra-large ones?" Xander asked, tongue firmly in cheek.

Connie called him a fucktard. Xander wondered if she was even allowed to use that phrase anymore.

"If you want to get laid, I bet you're motivated enough to figure this stuff out," Connie said.

"Sorry, I was just giving you a hard time. But I would appreciate you giving me a ride."

"Let's go now. That way, we can talk about your Pam issue."

They drove into town, and Xander had her take him to Donnie's parents' pharmacy. On the way there, Connie asked him a bunch of questions about Pam. She said she'd think about it while he was in the store.

Xander decided to purchase a supply sufficient to hold him until he got his license. He hadn't bought any in years and had no idea how long they would remain safe to use. So, with all that in mind, he walked to the back to talk to the pharmacist. As luck would have it, it was Mr. Wilson, Donnie's dad.

"How may I help you?"

"I want to buy a supply of condoms and need to know how long they'll last," Xander said.

Mr. Wilson looked like he was about to lecture Xander, so Xander cut him off.

"Can I give you a tip? If you simply give me the information, I'll spread the word to all my classmates. I'll tell them if they ever need to buy condoms, they should come here because there are no questions asked, and they won't be looked down on for buying them."

Mr. Wilson took a beat to absorb that and then nodded.

"Okay, there are three main types. Lambskin has the shortest shelf life. They're generally safe to use up to a year after their manufacture. The ones with a spermicide or that are made with something other than latex or polyurethane are good for about three years. The latex and polyurethane are good for five years. These days, they all have expiration dates printed on the wrapper," Mr. Wilson said.

"Which would you recommend?" Xander asked.

"It depends. If you're using them because you're worried about getting someone pregnant, I would lean toward using the ones with a spermicide; it would give me peace of mind. If you're wearing them to prevent an STI, go with the latex or polyurethane. They're the cheapest and quite effective.

"I would also avoid getting the larger sizes because most of them really aren't larger, and they charge a premium to stroke your vanity," Mr. Wilson said.

Mr. Wilson walked around the counter and led Xander to the display. He showed Xander which ones he probably wanted. Xander decided on the spermicide ones because the last thing he wanted was a baby. Hell, his mom wouldn't let him get a puppy because she suspected-probably rightly-that she'd end up taking care of it.

In later years, when he took in his niece, she could at least care for herself. He would be clueless about changing diapers and the like. Still, Xander planned to help his sister stay on the right path this time around so he wouldn't end up taking care of his niece.

Mr. Wilson was amused when Xander asked him to go into the back to get more boxes of the ones he wanted. He might be thinking a little ambitiously, but he hoped he would do it more than thirty-six times by the time he was sixteen.

He used his handy debit card to buy them. Mr. Wilson glanced at the name on the card and then at Xander.

"You're the Xander who's in my son's class?"

"Yes."

"I think I need to have a talk with my son when I get home."

"You might want to have multiple talks with Donnie. It may take that for everything to sink in," Xander said.

"You're probably right," Mr. Wilson said, handing Xander his bag. "Don't forget to recommend us."

"Will do. Thanks."

Of course, Connie was scandalized when she saw how many Xander bought. Then she launched into her advice about Pam.

"Middle school relationships aren't real, so if I were you, I would go on your date. I wouldn't tie yourself down if you plan to spend time with Brandi. You don't want to be the guy who's sneaking around, cheating on his girlfriend, even if it isn't real. You'll get labeled, and no one will want to go out with you."

Xander was about to object, but Connie cut him off.

"You've already seen how quickly stuff gets around. There's no way that you having sex with Brandi will remain a secret."

She had a point.

Xander thanked Connie for taking him. He considered asking if she'd be willing to show him how to put one on, but the old man inside him shut that down. Now, he would need to hide them somewhere his little sister wouldn't find them.