Chapter 10

Druscilla

Kaila pushed the door open without knocking, the way she always did, and the scent of her vanilla body spray hit me first.

"Do you really want to postpone the wedding?" she asked, kicking off her sandals and flopping onto the edge of my bed like she owned the place.

I sat at the vanity, staring at my own reflection like it belonged to somebody else. The wipe in my hand smelled like rosewater and regret. I dragged it across my cheek, smearing the last of last night's mascara.

"I don't even know what to think anymore," I muttered, biting the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste copper.

Kaila's brows pulled together. "But why the sudden change of heart? You've been planning this wedding since we were kids. You had the damn color scheme picked out in middle school."

I tossed the wipe into the little silver trash can and watched it disappear. "That's exactly the problem. My whole life has been mapped out like a damn GPS route. Turn left at twenty-five, merge into marriage at twenty-eight, exit at babies and a white picket fence. I'm tired of knowing what's coming next every single second."

My palm came down on the vanity harder than I meant it to. The bottles rattled. Kaila flinched, eyes wide.

"I want to be surprised," I said, voice cracking. "I want to wake up one morning and not know how the day's gonna end. I want spontaneous. I want messy."

She just stared, lips parted, like I'd grown a second head right there in front of her.

I dragged in a shaky breath. "I'm not calling the whole thing off. I just... I need a minute. To breathe. To be single for five damn seconds before I sign my life away."

Kaila's face softened. A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I get it. I do."

Relief flooded me so fast my eyes stung. I threw my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder. She smelled like home and trouble all at once.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Yesterday at the club... God, it was fun. Real fun."

She pulled back, confusion wrinkling her nose. "You? You enjoyed clubbing? I thought you hated that scene."

I touched my lips without thinking, the ghost of Ivanov's mouth still burning there. Heat crawled up my neck. "There's a first time for everything."

Kaila's eyes narrowed, playful but sharp. "After the bullets and the screaming and the whole 'we almost died' thing?"

I shrugged, standing up and reaching for my robe. The silk slid cool against my skin. "We're still breathing, aren't we?"

"Jesus, Cilia. You're scaring me." She laughed, but it sounded nervous. "I was losing my mind worrying about you."

I rolled my eyes and tied the belt. "You're acting like my mother now. Patricia had you shaking in your heels last night, didn't she?"

Kaila snorted, picking up the giant teddy bear Isaac gave me last Valentine's. She hugged it to her chest like a shield. "That woman could make the devil apologize. I swear she almost made me pee myself with that lecture down there."

I winced. "I'm sorry I left you to face her alone."

She waved it off. "It was my idea to drag you out. My fault."

I twisted my hair into a messy bun, the strands still damp from the shower I hadn't taken yet. "I need to get clean. I still smell like smoke and bad decisions."

Kaila's gaze snapped to my neck. Her mouth fell open. "Is that a hickey?"

My hand flew up before I could stop it. The mark was small but unmistakable-pink and tender, right where Ivanov's teeth had grazed me.

Shit.

I spun toward the mirror. There it was, loud as a neon sign.

Kaila was already on her feet, crowding me. "Cilia. Where the hell did you spend the night?"

I pressed my lips together, biting the inside of my cheek again. "I swear nothing happened with Ivanov. I must've hit my neck on something."

"Hmm. Interesting." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Who's Ivanov?"

The name had slipped out like a secret I couldn't keep anymore. My face went hot. I dropped my forehead to the vanity, the cool wood pressing against my skin.

I couldn't stop seeing him. The scar slicing through his eyebrow. Those strange, mismatched eyes that looked straight through every lie I'd ever told myself. The way water had slid down the hard lines of his chest in that hotel shower like he was carved from something dangerous and beautiful.

I'm engaged. I shouldn't be thinking about another man's hands, another man's mouth, the way he'd tasted like whiskey, chocolate and sin.

But God, I was.

Kaila grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. "Come on. Spill. You're blushing like a teenager."

I laughed, shaky and embarrassed. "I'm not telling you a damn thing. We need to get ready for church before Mom starts yelling the roof off."

"Your mom, your problem," she shot back, grinning.

Avery walked in right then, carrying the glass of water I'd asked for ten minutes ago. She looked a little flushed, like she'd been cornered downstairs again.

I took the glass from her and drank it in three long gulps. The cold shocked my throat. "Thanks, babe. I know Mom probably preached at you the whole time. I'm sorry."

Avery shrugged, sinking into my pink heart-shaped chair and spinning it slowly. "I'm used to it. She's consistent, I'll give her that."

Her eyes bounced between me and Kaila. "What'd I miss? You two look like you're hiding a body."

Kaila opened her mouth, eyes sparkling.

"Nothing!" I cut in, stepping between them. "Absolutely nothing. Let's just get dressed."

I escaped into the bathroom, heart hammering. Kaila caught the door before I could shut it.

"Let's do another bachelorette night," she whispered, winking. "I like this version of you. Wild. A little reckless."

"You're insane," I laughed, prying her fingers off the door and locking it behind me.

An hour later I was in a simple black V-neck dress that hit just above the knee, a thin belt cinched at my waist. Kaila and Avery had already left for church. I fastened the buckle, the metal cool against my fingers, when a knock sounded.

"Mom, I'll be down in a second!" I called.

"It's not your mom."

Isaac's voice. Low. Familiar.

I opened the door. He stepped inside, hands in his pockets, looking every bit the polished lawyer in his charcoal suit. But his eyes were tired.

"Your mom already left in the convoy," he said. "Figured you wouldn't want to ride with her today."

I exhaled. "Thank God. I'll meet her at church."

He closed the distance, voice soft. "I'm sorry about last night, baby. I panicked. I should've come in after you. I shouldn't have left with Avery."

I looked at him-really looked. The slump in his shoulders, the way he kept swallowing like the words hurt. Guilt twisted in my stomach.

"I overreacted," I said quietly.

"No. You didn't." He took my hands, thumbs brushing my knuckles. "I deserved every word. I just... I don't want to lose you."

"We're not breaking up," I told him, forcing a smile. "You're still the only man I've ever loved. You're going to be my husband."

He searched my face. "Then why postpone the wedding?"

The question landed like a stone in still water. I shifted my weight. "I need to think. Straight. Without all the noise."

"Why?"

The picture flashed behind my eyes again-the blonde, the angle, the way it had been tucked into that stupid cake like a poison pill.

I pulled my hands free. "Because I saw something. At the club. Inside the birthday cake you supposedly sent me."

His brow furrowed. "What picture?"

"You and some blonde. It wasn't clear, but it looked... intimate."

Isaac's face went slack. "That's a lie."

He reached for me again, gentle. "Baby, someone's trying to mess with us. I would never. You know me. I'd rather die than hurt you like that."

I studied his eyes. They were steady. Honest. The same eyes that had looked at me across the lunch table in tenth grade and promised forever.

"But it looked real," I whispered.

"You know what they say-don't believe everything you see." He cupped my face, thumbs wiping at the tears I hadn't realized were falling. "It was photoshopped. I don't know who or why, but I'll find out."

I sniffed. "You forgot my birthday."

The words came out small and cracked.

Isaac's shoulders dropped. "It slipped my mind. I had that big case, the one with the hedge-fund guy-"

"Work," I cut in, voice rising. "It's always work. That's all it's going to be when we're married, isn't it? You at the office until midnight, me waiting up like some sad little wife."

He pulled me into his chest. His cologne-something expensive and woody-filled my nose. I used to love it. Today it made me want to gag.

"I'm sorry, angel," he murmured into my hair. "Let me make it up to you. Dinner tonight. Just us. Somewhere nice. We'll talk. Really talk."

A date. Actual time. The idea felt foreign after months of canceled plans and quick kisses on the forehead.

I nodded against his shirt. "Okay. Yeah. That sounds good."

He kissed my forehead-soft, familiar, safe-then stepped back. "I'll make the reservation. I love you, Cilia. Always have."

"I love you too," I said, but the words felt heavy on my tongue.

He left, and I stood there a moment, staring at the closed door, the teddy bear on the bed watching me like it knew every secret I was trying to bury.

My driver was waiting downstairs. The ride to church was quiet, just the low hum of the engine and the city sliding past the tinted windows. When I stepped out, my Jimmy Choos clicked against the stone steps like tiny accusations.

Inside, the choir was already singing, voices rising sweet and steady. I slid into the pew beside Kaila. She'd saved me the spot, same as always.

The music wrapped around me, warm and familiar. For a few minutes I let it carry me. I closed my eyes and tried to feel clean. New. The way I was supposed to feel in this place.

Then the scent hit me-dark, expensive, a little dangerous chocolate and something sharper, like smoke and rain.

My head turned before I could stop it.

Three rows over, settling into a seat like he belonged there was none other than the handsome devil himself-the one who had lodged himself in my thoughts since last night. The very man I believed worship and the sermon had cleansed from my mind... and from my skin.

Ivanov Rodriguez.

Black suit. Crisp white shirt. The scar on his face catching the light from the stained-glass windows. Those sharp eyes scanned the sanctuary once, then locked on mine.

My heart slammed against my ribs so hard I thought the whole congregation could hear it.

What the hell is he doing here?

He didn't smile. He didn't wink. He just looked at me, steady and unblinking, like he already knew every filthy thought I'd had about him since last night.

And God help me, I couldn't look away.

Isaac's voice. Low. Familiar.

I opened the door. He stepped inside, hands in his pockets, looking every bit the polished lawyer in his charcoal suit. But his eyes were tired.

"Your mom already left in the convoy," he said. "Figured you wouldn't want to ride with her today."

I exhaled. "Thank God. I'll meet her at church."

He closed the distance, voice soft. "I'm sorry about last night, baby. I panicked. I should've come in after you. I shouldn't have left with Avery."

I looked at him-really looked. The slump in his shoulders, the way he kept swallowing like the words hurt. Guilt twisted in my stomach.

"I overreacted," I said quietly.

"No. You didn't." He took my hands, thumbs brushing my knuckles. "I deserved every word. I just... I don't want to lose you."

"We're not breaking up," I told him, forcing a smile. "You're still the only man I've ever loved. You're going to be my husband."

He searched my face. "Then why postpone the wedding?"

The question landed like a stone in still water. I shifted my weight. "I need to think. Straight. Without all the noise."

"Why?"

The picture flashed behind my eyes again-the blonde, the angle, the way it had been tucked into that stupid cake like a poison pill.

I pulled my hands free. "Because I saw something. At the club. Inside the birthday cake you supposedly sent me."

His brow furrowed. "What picture?"

"You and some blonde. It wasn't clear, but it looked... intimate."

Isaac's face went slack. "That's a lie."

He reached for me again, gentle. "Baby, someone's trying to mess with us. I would never. You know me. I'd rather die than hurt you like that."

I studied his eyes. They were steady. Honest. The same eyes that had looked at me across the lunch table in tenth grade and promised forever.

"But it looked real," I whispered.

"You know what they say-don't believe everything you see." He cupped my face, thumbs wiping at the tears I hadn't realized were falling. "It was photoshopped. I don't know who or why, but I'll find out."

I sniffed. "You forgot my birthday."

The words came out small and cracked.

Isaac's shoulders dropped. "It slipped my mind. I had that big case, the one with the hedge-fund guy-"

"Work," I cut in, voice rising. "It's always work. That's all it's going to be when we're married, isn't it? You at the office until midnight, me waiting up like some sad little wife."

He pulled me into his chest. His cologne-something expensive and woody-filled my nose. I used to love it. Today it made me want to gag.

"I'm sorry, angel," he murmured into my hair. "Let me make it up to you. Dinner tonight. Just us. Somewhere nice. We'll talk. Really talk."

A date. Actual time. The idea felt foreign after months of canceled plans and quick kisses on the forehead.

I nodded against his shirt. "Okay. Yeah. That sounds good."

He kissed my forehead-soft, familiar, safe-then stepped back. "I'll make the reservation. I love you, Cilia. Always have."

"I love you too," I said, but the words felt heavy on my tongue.

He left, and I stood there a moment, staring at the closed door, the teddy bear on the bed watching me like it knew every secret I was trying to bury.

My driver was waiting downstairs. The ride to church was quiet, just the low hum of the engine and the city sliding past the tinted windows. When I stepped out, my Jimmy Choos clicked against the stone steps like tiny accusations.

Inside, the choir was already singing, voices rising sweet and steady. I slid into the pew beside Kaila. She'd saved me the spot, same as always.

The music wrapped around me, warm and familiar. For a few minutes I let it carry me. I closed my eyes and tried to feel clean. New. The way I was supposed to feel in this place.

Then the scent hit me-dark, expensive, a little dangerous chocolate and something sharper, like smoke and rain.

My head turned before I could stop it.

Three rows over, settling into a seat like he belonged there was none other than the handsome devil himself-the one who had lodged himself in my thoughts since last night. The very man I believed worship and the sermon had cleansed from my mind... and from my skin.

Ivanov Rodriguez.

Black suit. Crisp white shirt. The scar on his face catching the light from the stained-glass windows. Those sharp eyes scanned the sanctuary once, then locked on mine.

My heart slammed against my ribs so hard I thought the whole congregation could hear it.

What the hell is he doing here?

He didn't smile. He didn't wink. He just looked at me, steady and unblinking, like he already knew every filthy thought I'd had about him since last night.

And God help me, I couldn't look away.

~ Druscilla ~

I kept my eyes locked on the pulpit like it was the only safe place in the whole sanctuary. One careless turn of my head and I'd see him-sitting there in the third pew like he belonged, broad shoulders stretching that charcoal suit, dark hair catching the stained-glass light.  

What the hell is he doing here? Gangsters don't just show up to Presbyterian service on a Sunday morning. Do they?

"Druscilla." My mother's voice sliced through my scattered thoughts. "I want you to welcome the new members."

I blinked. "What?"

Patricia leaned in, voice low so only I could hear. "Three new faces today. One of them is important. He wrote the church a very generous check."

"Wow. Bless him. Must be a good man."

She cut her eyes across the aisle. "He is. Though you wouldn't guess it from the look of him."

I followed her gaze and my stomach dropped straight through the floor.

Ivanov.

Before I could finish the thought, my mother gave me a little push between the shoulder blades. "Go on. Introduce yourself, tell him about our ministries. We need men like him-strong, committed."

My palms were already slick. I wiped them on my skirt. "Mom, I'm actually... I really need to use the restroom right now."

Patricia gave me the slow, knowing once-over that always made me feel twelve years old again. "You know I can spot a lie from across the room, right?"

Heat crawled up my neck. "I'm not-"

"If you know what's good for you," she said, hand on her hip, "you'll walk over there and thank that young man before he leaves. Now."

I glanced at Ivanov. He was already rising, buttoning his suit jacket. My mother's fingers brushed my shoulder, softer this time. "Be a good girl for me, Dru. Just say thank you and tell him more about our church."

I swallowed the rock in my throat and stood.

The aisle felt a mile long. My heels clicked too loud on the hardwood. By the time I reached him he was already near the double doors, sunlight pouring in behind him like some kind of dark angel stepping out of a painting.

"Hey," I said, voice barely above a whisper.

He turned. Those eyes-storm-blue and pale amber-locked on mine and the air left my lungs in a rush.

I opened my mouth to deliver my mother's polite little script. Thank you for your generous donation. We hope to see you again. Something safe. Something churchy.

Instead what came out was, "You go to church?"

A slow smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "The devil was once an angel before he was kicked out of heaven. So what's so strange about me being here?"

Holy shit. He just quoted Scripture like it was casual conversation.

"I-I'm just surprised," I managed. "Didn't expect to see you here."

We stepped outside into the bright Manhattan morning. The parking lot buzzed with voices, car doors slamming, kids laughing. Kaila was over by the oak tree, giggling at something Ambrose said, cheeks pink, completely oblivious.

"Same way I'm surprised to see you," he answered, matching my pace. "I actually do go to church back home with my family in Mexico."

"Wow."

"Yeah. This was the first one I passed when I moved into town. Big, beautiful-even if it's not Catholic. I was raised Catholic."

"Oh. You're Catholic." I fell into step beside him without meaning to. My mother had said thank him and leave. Instead I was walking with him like we were old friends. Like I hadn't watched him do terrible, beautiful things to me in the dark a night ago.

"So why join a Presbyterian church if you're Catholic?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Sometimes change is good," he said with a shrug. "New town. New life."

Something about the way he said it made my pulse skip. New life. New feelings. New mistakes I was apparently dying to make.

"Hmm. Interesting." I twisted the hem of my dress between my fingers. "Is the big donation part of this... new life too?"

He stopped walking. "What do you mean?"

I felt my cheeks burn. "My mom-Pastor Patricia Hayes-she said you gave a lot. A massive amount."

"Your mom is the pastor?" He actually looked stunned for half a second. "No kidding."

"Yeah. Since my dad passed."

"I'm sorry about your father."

The words were simple, but the way he said them-quiet, sincere-caught me off guard. Gangsters weren't supposed to apologize for things that had nothing to do with them.

"He died a long time ago," I said, offering a small smile. "But thank you."

We kept walking, drifting toward the garden behind the sanctuary. The air smelled like fresh-cut grass and the roses my father had planted years ago. Ivanov slipped his hands into his pockets, looking around like he was memorizing every detail.

"This place is really beautiful," he murmured. "Reminds me of home. Whoever designed it was a genius."

"That was my dad." The smile came easier this time as my heart swelled with pride. "He was an architect before he became a pastor. He wanted immigrants-like us-to feel at home when they walked through the doors."

Ivanov glanced at me, something soft flickering in his eyes. "We have more in common than I thought. Hispanic roots?"

"My grandparents came from Spain. We're Hispanic, yeah."

He plucked a white rose, twirled it between his fingers. "We speak the same language, at least. I'd like to know more about you."

The question felt innocent enough, but the look on his face was anything but. "What do you want to know?"

I stood still. Our eyes locked on each other's face as if we were the only thing existing in the garden.

He stepped closer. One hand slid around my waist, pulling me in until my breasts brushed the hard wall of his chest. His voice dropped, rough and low. "I want to know the things you like inside you."

My brain short-circuited. "Like... the things I love to do in my mind?"

"No, cupcake." His fingers trailed down, slow and deliberate, over the curve of my belly, stopping just above the heat between my thighs. "I want to know what you like to feel inside here." His palm pressed lightly against me through the fabric. "In between your legs."

Heat exploded low in my stomach. My breath caught so hard I almost choked on it. I shot a frantic look over his shoulder-no one was watching, thank God-but my legs still felt like they might give out.

I pulled back, heart hammering against my ribs. "I should... I should probably-"

"Can you show me around?" he asked, cutting me off smoothly. His gaze drifted from my face to the line of my throat, then lower. "I want to see the rest of this beautiful church."

Every warning bell in my head screamed at me to turn around, walk back inside, find my mother, do anything except what I was about to do.

But my mouth had other plans.

"Sure," I heard myself say. "Let's go."

I turned and started down the stone path. Behind me, his voice floated out, lazy and wicked.

"That dress is covering too much, doll."

My steps faltered. A shiver raced down my spine, hot and electric, and I kept walking anyway-straight into the garden, straight into whatever came next, knowing damn well I was already in way over my head.