Watching Jarrett still on the phone with Kisha Prince, his voice soft and loving, Alayna Dickerson swallowed the words she had come to say. She turned and quietly left the study.
To him, she was just a stepsister living in his house. He wouldn't care where she went to college. If that was the case, she didn't need to tell him.
In fifteen days, she would leave the Sheppard home. She would leave Jarrett.
Back in her room, Alayna looked around. A flicker of sadness crossed her face. But the past was the past.
She sighed softly. "Since I've decided to go, it's time to pack," she murmured to herself.
She pulled an old duffel bag from the top of her closet and opened the large, wall-to-wall display cabinet. Inside the glass-fronted shelves were all the memories. The perfume Jarrett had brought her from France. The cross necklace he had gotten for her, claiming it was a lucky charm.
One by one, she took them all out and placed them in the duffel bag. The bag slowly filled up, but her heart felt like it was emptying, a hollow space where a cold wind was blowing.
She pushed down the sadness and opened the bottom drawer of the cabinet. A yellowed diary lay inside. The pages were filled with childish pencil scribbles from her turbulent childhood.
She remembered how Jarrett used to protect her. But now, those memories were painful.
As she flipped through the diary, every single page was about Jarrett.
She turned page after page, her eyes blurring with tears. A tear fell silently onto the diary, blurring the ink.
Alayna pulled herself together, pushing down the complicated knot of feelings in her chest. Then, she started tearing the pages out of the diary. She tore up the letters, too. With each rip of the paper, a memory of her and Jarrett seemed to fade.
She threw all the shredded pieces into the duffel bag and zipped it shut.
A while later, she heard a commotion downstairs. She walked out of her room and saw Kisha Prince in the living room, hugging Jarrett. A suitcase stood beside her.
Alayna's heart stuttered, and she froze on the landing.
Seeing her, Kisha smiled and waved. "Alayna! I'm moving in for a few days. I brought you a gift!"
Kisha handed over a large bouquet of bright lilies.
Alayna instinctively took a step back, covering her nose. She was severely allergic to pollen, especially lilies. Contact caused rashes and breathing difficulties. Jarrett used to know this better than anyone. The house never had fresh flowers; the garden only had foliage plants.
"Why don't you take it?" Jarrett frowned, his tone impatient. "It's your sister-in-law's kindness."
Alayna looked at him in disbelief. "Jarrett, I'm allergic to pollen."
"Don't be so delicate," Jarrett said coldly. "Kisha's family situation is special. Her stepfather is abusive, so I brought her here to protect her. She bought these flowers specifically for you. Don't be ungrateful."
To protect Kisha, he could completely forget her restrictions?
Alayna held back the stinging in her eyes. She took the bouquet, holding her breath, and placed it on a distant table.
"Thank you, sister-in-law. And... thank you, brother."
Thank you for making my decision to leave even easier.
That night, Kisha Prince slept in Jarrett Sheppard's room.
Alayna knew they were a couple. She knew it was normal for them to stay together. But the quiet, ambiguous sounds that floated through the house in the dead of night kept her awake.
She lit another cigarette, watching the smoke curl around her slender fingers before taking a deep drag. It tasted bitter and acrid, just like her feelings.
The next morning, Alayna came downstairs with swollen eyes.
"Alayna!" Kisha called out, pulling her to sit on the sofa. A faint red mark was visible on Kisha's neck. "Your brother's birthday is coming up. I want to throw him a party. Do you know what style he likes?"
Kisha's question pulled Alayna back to the present. She couldn't help but remember a conversation she and Jarrett had once had.
She had told him she loved the sound of the waves, and how it reminded her of her harmonica music. That day, Jarrett had promised they would always spend birthdays by the sea.
"We agreed to go to the beach..." Alayna started to say.
"Let's just have a party at home," Jarrett interrupted, his eyes fixed on Kisha. "Kisha likes it lively."
Alayna lowered her head and swallowed her bitter porridge.
After breakfast, Alayna prepared to go out to handle her visa.
"Where are you going?" Jarrett asked.
"To run some errands."
"Alayna, you just graduated high school. Don't get mixed up with the wrong people and start dating too early," Jarrett warned sternly.
Kisha laughed coquettishly beside him. "Oh, it's normal for girls to date when they grow up. Jarrett, don't be so fierce."
Alayna didn't explain. She turned and walked into the rain.
On the way, she scrolled through Jarrett's social media.
He had posted a new photo: a wedding picture of them kissing in the rain. The caption read: [Rainy days are perfect for going public. Please guide me for the rest of my life.]
Alayna stood under the eaves of the visa office, looking at the photo, her heart dead.
She calmly typed two words: [Congratulations.]
After posting the comment, Alayna Dickerson unfollowed Jarrett Sheppard's social media. The days until she left were counting down. She would use this time to dig him out of her heart, piece by piece.
She returned to the hillside mansion. The house was empty, and a chill hung in the air. She went into the kitchen and cooked herself a simple bowl of egg noodles.
While she was eating, her phone buzzed. It was a message from Kisha Prince.
[Alayna, Jarrett and I won't be home tonight. Take care of yourself.]
A moment later, Kisha sent several more photos. A candlelit dinner. A mirror selfie in a fancy hotel suite.
Alayna's fingertips trembled slightly as she looked at the pictures. She calmly replied with one word.
"Okay."
She closed the chat, and a notification popped up from her high school group chat. Someone had tagged her. She clicked on it and saw her classmates were planning a graduation party for the weekend.
She thought about it. Once she moved to California, she probably wouldn't come back to the country very often. She agreed to go.
Her reply instantly brought the group chat to life.
[Will your doting brother Jarrett Sheppard come to the party?]
[Remember that time we were camping and there was a landslide? Your brother flew back overnight and brought a search party into the mountains to find you. He said he'd always be with you when you went out. He should come this time too, right?]
The messages from her classmates filled her mind with memories of a time when she felt safe and warm. But now, those warm feelings were like shards of ice, piercing her heart with every breath.
Alayna put her phone down and replied with three words.
[He's not coming.]
Her classmates' idea of Jarrett was stuck in the past, in the years when he spoiled her completely. They didn't know about the confession he had rejected when she was seventeen. And they didn't know that the man who had promised to protect her had found someone else to protect.
That night, Alayna slept restlessly. In her dream, she was eight years old again, standing awkwardly by the fountain on her first day at the Sheppard home. She didn't know what to do.
In the dream, young Jarrett glanced at her indifferently. Then he turned and walked away, without saying a single word.
She woke with a start, her face wet with tears that had stained her pillow.
If Jarrett had been that cold to her from the very beginning, maybe she would have understood the distance between them sooner.
But there were no "if onlys." The hardest thing in the world wasn't never having something. It was having all the favoritism, and then losing it all overnight.
When she got up, she looked at the duffel bag in the corner of her room, full of memories. Thirteen days left. Thirteen days until she truly left this place.
Whether she wanted to or not, she had to throw these memories away. Only by getting rid of them completely could she clear the space in her heart.
Alayna took a deep breath, picked up the heavy duffel bag, and walked out of her room.
As she was about to go downstairs, she saw Jarrett had just returned.
Jarrett frowned when he saw the bag in her hand. "School hasn't started yet. Where are you going with that luggage?"
Alayna tightened her grip on the strap. "I'll be living on campus later, so I packed some useless things to throw away."
She struggled to carry the heavy bag down the stairs.
Jarrett didn't say anything. He just strode forward, took the bag from her, and walked outside. He threw it directly into the large trash receptacle by the curb.
The clattering sound it made as it landed made Alayna's heart sink. If he cared even a little, he would have recognized the perfume bottle or the cross necklace inside.
What he threw away were the gifts he had flown halfway around the world to bring her over the years. They were also the memories they had once promised they would never forget.
But Jarrett didn't even glance at the trash. His gaze was fixed straight ahead.
"You're going to college in the city. There's no need to live on campus. Stay at home after school starts. I'll talk to your teacher."
His tone was unquestionable. It filled Alayna with a mix of emotions. If he had just asked her high school teacher, he would have known she hadn't even applied to any colleges in the city. She had applied directly to the University of California, Berkeley, thousands of miles away.
But his mind was on Kisha Prince now. He didn't care about her future at all.
It didn't matter. Only thirteen days left. Once she was in California, she wouldn't need his attention.
Thinking this, she turned and went back upstairs without a word.
"Is Alayna mad?" she heard Kisha ask from the car.
"She's eighteen now. She should learn to be independent," Jarrett replied coldly.
Alayna paused on the stairs, then continued to her room.
Yes, she was eighteen. She wouldn't miss the past. And she wouldn't hope for the future. From now on, she could walk her own path, all by herself.