The students started to disperse the moment the lecture ended. But I sat tight. And I'm still sitting tight, resting my elbows on the desk as I watch Cole pack his stuff.

Once done, he sits down behind the desk. I assume he's waiting for the hall to clear out before leaving. So, I'll wait with him.

The students cover Cole from time to time as they line out, but I manage to spy him from between them.

When they have completely exited the hall, I realize I'm staring directly at the man, and he's not shying away from my stare either.

The old me would have looked down shyly. I would have chuckled out of embarrassment, and my face would be flushed red already. But none of these are the case now.

Instead, there's a strange adrenaline spreading through me, trying to convince me to spring to my feet and dart to this man.

Should I call it love adrenaline?

Wait... love? Isn't that stretching too far?

Where the hell did I get this courage, by the way?

"Ms. Stone," the lecturer suddenly speaks up, his voice bouncing around the walls of the hall. I nearly shudder. "Do you want a job, to be the keeper of this hall?" he asks.

I let out an awkward chuckle. "I... am having a bit of an issue processing the class, sir." Getting up, I go down the hall to where Cole is sitting, standing in front of his desk while crossing my hands in front of my thighs. "I don't understand what you taught today, sir."

Cole diverts his gaze from me as he glances at his watch. "What part, Ms. Stone?"

"The entire class."

Cole raises a brow at me and holds it up for a long time while giving me a 'I can't believe you' expression. Then he huffs a smile before leaning forward to the table, placing his elbows on it.

"Get my laptop from that bag, will you?" he asks as he points to a black duffel bag on the floor.

I do as he says without hesitation and watch as he navigates the device.

"Ms. Stone, you have just insinuated that I wasted an hour of my time teaching," he mumbles. His voice has dropped lower and is throaty, and it does something crazy in my stomach.

I don't know the exact moment when I start to hold my breath or when I let my lips hang open.

"Come here." Cole gestures with his fingers for me to come close. I do so immediately, bending down a little to look into his laptop.

He starts repeating his lecture from earlier while expecting my eyes to be stuck on the laptop screen. But, from time to time, I side-glance his face.

The proportion of it is just right. The sharpened edges of his jaws and chin do something unlawful to me.

All I can think of right now is how I want to lick the scarce beads of sweat sliding down the side of his face. And... most of all, how I want to kiss those lips.

I've never been with a man before. I haven't grown the courage to do so. However, somehow, this new lecturer let something lose in me-a wild side, a part of me that craved attention, a part of me that needed to backslide but didn't have the motivation to.

It's like a dam crumbled and let the ocean run.

While my morals and upbringing are the dam, my raw, unknown side is the ocean.

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Many more classes after that first class ended with the same excuse.

'Sir, I didn't get you.'

'What did you say this was again?'

'You got the years wrong. This is when it actually happened.'

Those were the well-thought words I used to strike more extra one-on-one lectures. Often times the lectures would drag till night. And I so much loved it.

After eight days of finally starting to enjoy literature classes, I now find myself walking down to Dr. Cole once again on the ninth day for another one-on-one lecture born out of pretense.

However, he must be exhausted already, as he sighs on seeing me. "Please do not tell me you missed something again, Ms. Stone." He's almost groaning.

I shake my head, flashing a wide smile. "Don't worry. I'm not making you re-lecture me today. In fact, I was thinking I could ask you about something I found out in the content of the future lecture instead."

I lay my book on Cole's desk and start riffling through it. Although I'm looking down at it, I can tell that the lecturer is looking at me.

"I see you read ahead," he says.

I look up to meet his gaze that lingers on me longer than necessary.

My cheeks grow warm. "I like to be prepared now."

Or maybe I just like being seen.

"I heard from some of your peers that you rarely spoke to anyone or participated in class activities like you do now. Is there a reason for the sudden change?"

I shrug, turning to the book again. "Maybe you're just that good of a teacher."

Cole laughs. It's the first time I'm hearing him laugh. In truth, I don't even know what's funny about what I said, but I'm happy I made him step past his smirks.

Now I wish I could make him laugh often. That will certainly fill my stomach in a good way.

More days passed with more extra hours with Cole.

Soon, we start diving into conversations that aren't even about the subject, or the course, or even school anymore.

"Do you like... love animals? Cos I do. I love rabbits. Like... a lot," I confess while being seated on a stool adjacent Cole, the desk standing as the only barrier between us.

Cole leans back in his swivel seat and turns it slowly from left to right. He doesn't even realize he's manspreading. "I do not like dogs," he admits.

"How about cats?"

His exposed crotch keeps drawing my eyes under the desk no matter how I try to stop myself.

"I grew up in a place pretty much surrounded by cats, so I guess..." Cole shrugs. "Yeah?"

"Well... meow." I smile as I let out an awkward chuckle. What the hell am I even doing?

But that question doesn't matter now, does it? It has already been spilled, and Cole now has an idea of what's really happening, as he suddenly stops swiveling his seat and stares deep into my eyes.

His blue irises pierce past my brown ones. I feel like they could reach my soul at this point.

Time stills. Everything falls into slow motion-Cole blinking, him breathing, or is it his stare diverting to my lips in a split second before returning to my eyes?

The tension is almost unbearable. Strong sexual tension. One that isn't even meant to exist. Except, it does now.

Cole suddenly looks away, glancing at his wrist watch once again. "You shouldn't stay back this late every time," he mumbles as he sits up to gather his papers.

"Why?" I ask, though I already know.

The lecturer's jaw tightens. "Because people talk."

I huff. "Why do you seem nervous, Dr. Cole? Only a nervous or anxious person cares about what people say, so why do you care?"

He hesitates to respond, avoiding my eyes as much as possible. That alone is answer enough.

"I cannot deny having anxiety over these meetings, Ms. Stone, because they have grown too informal," Cole finally replies. "If we are to have more one-on-one classes, I would prefer you meet me in my office, where there is a mini lecture hall available."

"Dr. Cole, are you saying you don't feel this... friction between us... as much as I do? You asked me why I changed all of a sudden. What if it's not about your lectures but about you? What if... what if I like you?"

Cole rounds up stacking his property into his bag and zips it up. "Look, Ms. Stone, I may be teaching literature, but I did not tell you to write a whole story in your head. Whatever life you're living in your mind, I hope it's about your happiness and not some fantasies that will jeopardize your education." He rises to his feet. "I will assign you a tutor. Whatever you don't understand, meet them instead of me."

I spring up and make my way towards the exit door while grumbling, "I don't need any tutor."

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I skipped literature classes for three days that week. I've not been able to bring myself to face Cole again after that sordid embarrassment.

Tonight, like the past three days, I would have been at home by now. But the rain started at noon and is still going strong.

Most of the people without private cars are stuck in the school building. Like me.

I'm sitting in the dance practice hall while going through my phone. Then, all of a sudden, thunder cracks, lightning strikes, the lights flicker and go off, and I scream with a shudder. All at once.

I'm the only one in the hall, so that freaks me out the more as I scramble to turn on my phone light. However, my shaky fingers fail to find the torch button.

I don't hear the door creak open due to the storm; I don't see someone come into the hall either until a torchlight suddenly flashes on me overhead.

I scream again, this time tossing my phone away and trying to spring to my feet but failing.

Whoever it is bends down and presses their hands on my shoulders. "Shh. Hold still."

I calm down only because I recognize that voice. The torch is still on my face, but I've already figured out who it is.

"Dr. Cole?" The man has a private car, so... "Why... why are you still on campus?"

Cole lets me go and sets the torchlight on the floor. Now it's no longer flashed on my face, and I see the lecturer clearly.

He's clad in a suit, as usual. He wears a different color, texture, style, and brand every time.

"Are you afraid of storms?" Dr. Cole asks, softer than usual.

I laugh nervously. "A little."

To my surprise, the man takes off his suit jacket and hands it to me. I accept and drape it on my shoulders, watching with wide eyes as Cole sits down beside me.

I start to panic.

It feels like I can hear my own thumping heartbeats above the heavy rain. And I hope Cole won't see my chest rising. I mean, if I were to speak now, I may just gasp.

"I know you're freezing, and you just wanna go home and cuddle your pillows for warmth, but I'm kinda glad the rain came down," Cole speaks above the rain.

"Why?" I reply.

"Because it made you stay."

Those words hang above my head for a while. Then they begin to sink one after the other.

"What did you just say?" I blurt out.

Cole suddenly laughs. "Gosh..." he groans, "merely sitting my butt here is a mistake, Lilac." Wait. Did he just say... Lilac? Did he call me by my name? "But... sometimes, mistakes keep calling to you to make them. Unless you do, you'll never know peace."

I turn to look at the man. The flashlight illuminates most parts of his face, but the shadows also fall on the perfect spots-like around his eyes.

He looks at me too. For a long minute, we just remain that way, staring at each other, our eyes feeding information to the other.

Soon, the storm calms, and everywhere grows quiet. I can even tell the people on campus have started creeping to their houses.

"Do you think it's appropriate for someone as young as you are to like a man in his middle thirties?" He mumbles, his voice sounding really close to my ears.

"How can you tell that it's not? I don't think there's anything wrong with having feelings for someone. In fact, I think nothing is more right than being emotionally connected to another person."

Cole smiles. "You are different," he whispers in a hoarse tone.

I shake my head and whisper back, "You don't even know me."

"I want to."

Three words. That is all it takes for the bridge to collapse beyond repair. That's all it takes for the line between discipline and emotions to blur.

I watch Cole's face draw near in the slight darkness. Some hidden magnet between us pulls mine towards his too.

He sets his rough hand on my cheek and caresses it with his thumb moments before our lips make contact.

The feeling is electrifying, thrilling, and an absolute pleasure.

I can't believe this is my very first kiss, and I can't wrap my head around just how good it feels.

However, I fear I may be clumsy and awkward. I don't even know how to go about it even though Cole leads me well.

His other hand creeps to my waist, and some weird mix of sensations spread from my stomach to between my legs, where all of a sudden feels too wet.

"Something's wrong with me," I mutter against Cole's lips. "I'm wetting my panties. Is that alright?"

The man huffs a smile. I feel his breath fan my face in a good way. "Nothing is wrong with you, Lilac," he says soothingly while leaning back, still caressing my cheek. "What you are experiencing is the start of pleasure." Cole suddenly frowns. "Hold on a sec. You haven't been intimate before?"

I shake my head nervously.

"Then you have a long way to go, Lilac."

I lean into the man, wrapping both hands around his shoulders. "Show me. Please."

I watch Cole's Adam's apple bobble as he gulps hard, and I smile inwardly. I love the fact that he's having a good hard time because of me.

However, he takes me unawares when he suddenly pecks my lips. "You've got to go home now. It's late." He crosses my hands off his shoulders but doesn't let them go as he stands up. "Come on." He pulls me to my feet. "I'll put you in a cab."

I groan out my displeasure. Although I just want to finish what we started right here and now, I'm still happy about how this night turned out.

Henceforth, I know things are about to change.

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Getting reading for school never felt so refreshing. Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I scrutinize my looks.

I've always been proud of my ebony black hair and my brown eyes, but I've not been more grateful than I am that I'm quite thick and really curvy.

My insecurities were my baby face and my overly pale skin. But, seeing as the person I like likes me back, I can now look at the mirror and smile at my reflection.

"Hi, Mom!" I greet as I walk past the kitchen.

I don't bother looking at her, but Mom seems to have laid one glance at me and judged.

"What are you putting on, Lily? That is too slutty for school."

Too slutty?

A fitted long-sleeved top tucked into a mini skirt, fashioned with a pair of lace leggings and a pair of knee-length boots, is slutty?

I look down at myself. Well, maybe it is, but who cares? I've been wearing extra large outfits since last year, after all.

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"We need to submit our literature projects, and the course prefect is absent," one student presents a problem. I do know why it's a problem.

"Due to his grumpy habit, I fear Dr. Cole would strangle me if I should step into his office. I rather forfeit the project than go there," another whines.

"Who will go then?"

There are murmurs for a while before...

"Wait! Everyone! Dr. Cole eases up with Lilac. She surely is his best student and may as well be the course prefect. Let her submit the assignments."

"Perfect idea."

"Wait... what?" I try to protest, but, in truth, I was waiting to be elected.

"Do not worry, Lilac. If you don't return, we'll write the perfect eulogy for you. It's literature, remember?"

I smile. Ironic.

If there's anybody whom a eulogy should be written for, it's Cole. He's the one who's about to be murdered by my looks, anyways.

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I knock once on his office door.

"Come in," I hear him say, and my heart skips a beat.

I let myself in and dump the pile of project works in a corner of his desk, setting my hands on the table and leaning on it.

"There's the homework. Your students are afraid to meet you."

Cole regards me for a while. His eyes shift to my breasts, where the material is hiding my cleavages, but the outline is still pretty visible. Then he looks down at a script he's marking.

"Why so?"

"They say you're the reaper. You dismember heads and hearts, they say."

"Then why aren't you scared?" Cole pauses his marking and starts stabbing his pen on the paper, seeming lost in thoughts.

"Cos I want to see the reaper in you come out," I respond.

"Fuck it!" Cole grunts and shifts the scripts aside. Then he pushes his swivel chair backwards so that there is enough space between him and the desk. "Come here." He taps his thigh.

Bloody hell! He wants me to sit on his lap.

"I have weight, you know," I say in feigned hesitation.

Without saying anything, Cole reaches for my wrist and pulls me into his natural seat.

The connection between us starts to spark flames again. Goosebumps spread through my skin as butterflies dance in my belly.

He holds my jaw between his thumb and index finger and brings my head down so that we can kiss while I slip my hands around his neck.

I love the feeling of his other hand tracing my curves. And I love the feeling of pulsating down there as juices leak without my control.

Most of all, I love whatever it is I'm seated on. It's hard and long and jerks from time to time.

I don't need to ask Cole what it is so as not to sound too dumb. I need to use my common sense on this one. After all, what else would be on his crotch aside from his manhood?