Calor Del Cielo: Bittersweet Taste of Your Love

First impressions are often entirely wrong. The thing that sometimes gets lost is the way people look at the harder edge of me and get the wrong impression that I'm a mean, selfish, priggish, unreasonable brat, and a very conceited person. That's really something I don't want people to think about me but that is not usually happening all the time. I don't usually care for what people think of me. The less I care, the less I hurt. I have trusted people but ended up being deceived and betrayed. There are people who are good at disguising and have mastered the art of deceit and yet, still know how to look saint to everyone. I'm not a good judge of character but I'm easily judged. Trust me I get used to it...

Cedric Miguel Villacencio, the man who never failed to make some havoc in my system. He was almost perfect in every way and excellent in every aspect. I know I won't stand a chance on him and I know he can never be mine. Probably because there is only one girl he sees and adores and that's Leanna- my one and only stepsister...

It is easy to hate and very difficult to love. What more to be praised by everyone? On my end, I don't chase love, affection, or attention. If it's not given freely then it's not worth having. I have never hated a person as I hate Cedric Miguel. I hate him for I know he hates me but I hate myself more because I still love him beyond that fact. They said there is not much difference between love and hate. They both get out of control easily and one turns into the other.

I hate that some things don't work the way you want them to be. I hate that I always get affected even though I don't want to.

I hate that love is imperceptive, I hate that love can endure all pains. I hate him for he stole my heart but broke it with his harsh and painful words. I hate that he thinks the worst of me and I hate him more for being such a fool. But beyond all,  I hate myself for keep on deeply loving him for all these years. You see in this lifetime, we cannot always get what we want no matter how badly wished to have it. There are times luck might favor us but there are times that no matter how we strive hard to have it when it's bound to be not yours, you can never have it. That's the cruelty of life and reality I guess. Trust me, I know my limits.  I know when and how to stop. That even it will hurt me so deeply, I still know how to let go...

I am Gavriella Dela Garza and this is my bittersweet taste of a love story...

____________

UPDATED ONE:

First impressions are often entirely wrong. People  easily make judgments based on what they can see and often jump to conclusions without considering the whole picture. It is easy to form an opinion about someone, especially if you convince yourself of  it or others make you believe it. I have  always been used on how people look at the harder edge of me, that I am mean, selfish and conceited spoiled brat.  I don't usually care for what people think of me. The less I care, the less I hurt. I have trusted people but ended up being deceived and betrayed. In this cruel world I have learned not to trust easily.   Some are skilled in disguising and  experts in making people believe in their goodness while secretly playing a dangerous game. They hide their true colors behind a facade of innocence just to  seize what they desire. I'd say I'm not a good judge of character, but trust me, I'm often easily judged.

They say love is amazing, but love can be a dangerous game. It can be treacherous, painful and can leave scars that will run deep through the heart.  It can nurture hate and anger, but it is a much more difficult thing to grasp, especially when it's unrequited. In my case, I don't chase love or attention. If it's not given freely, then it's not worth having.  That's what I used to believe but not until I met Cedric Miguel Villacencio- the only man who never failed to make some havoc in my system. He's almost perfect in every way and excellent in every aspect.  I know I  won't stand a chance on him not only because he's way too out of my league but also because he has eyes for only one woman and that's Leanna- my stepsister. He thinks the worst of me and I hate him for always  being a jerk. He can never be mine, I have known that a long time ago.

Sometimes, I hate that the heart is persistent and very hopeful. I hate that it can endure pain and can love deeply without expecting in return. That love and hate are two sides of the same coin, and in my case, it's a volatile mix. I hate him with a passion. I hate that I'm so easily affected no matter how hard I try not to. I hate that things don't always go the way we want them to be and I  hate that this love is so strong, patient and selfless.  But I  guess, I hate myself more for keep on loving him for all these years.

I have known that  life isn't always fair. That  in this lifetime, we cannot always get what we want no matter how badly wished to have it.  Luck might favor us in some desperate moments but there are also times that no matter how we strive hard to have it when it's not bound to be yours, you can never have it. It's  the harsh reality of life, I guess. I can be a fighter, but I won't keep fighting a battle I know I will lose. Yes, I  can love silently, but I won't fight for something that was never meant to be mine in the first place. I know my limits too.  Trust me, I  know when and how to stop. That even it will hurt me so deeply, I will still know how to let go...

I am Gavriella Dela Garza, and this is my bittersweet love story.