My hands trembled as I stacked the breakfast dishes in the pre-dawn kitchen. Four hours of sleep wasn't enough, but when was it ever? The massive industrial sink steamed with scalding water as I plunged my raw hands in again, ignoring the sting. Just thirty more plates, then I could catch an hour of rest before classes began.
The kitchen duty wasn't required—not technically. But the extra money helped cover Kai's birthday gift last month, the one he'd never acknowledged receiving. My vision blurred slightly, fatigue or tears, I couldn't tell anymore.
"Just a little longer," I whispered to myself, a mantra that had carried me through four years of loving someone who barely noticed I existed.
The room tilted suddenly, the industrial lights overhead smearing into bright streaks. I grabbed for the counter's edge, but my fingers slipped against the wet surface. The stack of plates crashed around me as my knees buckled, porcelain shattering across the tile floor. I tried to call out, but my voice emerged as a thin whisper before darkness swallowed me whole.
I drifted in and out of consciousness, fragments of reality breaking through the haze. Rough hands lifting me. A gruff voice cursing. The antiseptic smell of the pack's medical facility burning my nostrils.
"Foolish girl," came Elara's weathered voice, the elderly pack healer's fingers cool against my burning forehead. "Your body is shutting down. How long have you been pushing yourself like this?"
I tried to form words, but my tongue felt thick and useless in my mouth. The room spun even with my eyes closed.
"Four jobs, they tell me. Four! And for what? So you can buy trinkets for an Alpha who doesn't even remember your birthday?" Elara's voice cracked with rare emotion. "I've treated you three times this month for exhaustion, child. Your immune system is collapsing."
I forced my eyes open, the white ceiling of the infirmary swimming above me. "I need to get to class," I croaked. "My scholarship—"
"Your scholarship won't matter if you're dead," Elara snapped, pressing a cool cloth to my forehead. "I've sent word to Alpha Kai about your condition."
My heart lurched painfully. "No, please, he's busy with—"
"With what? Pack business? That Beta girl?" Elara's ancient eyes narrowed. "A true Alpha would sense his mate's suffering, wolfless or not."
I turned my face away, tears sliding silently into the pillow. We both knew he wouldn't come. Hours passed in the sterile quiet of the infirmary, each tick of the clock another confirmation of what I'd spent years denying.
When I was finally released three days later, my scholarship advisor was waiting with a notice of academic probation. My perfect GPA had slipped to barely passing. Four years of meticulous work crumbling like sand between my fingers.
"Miss Ashford," Professor Blackwood's voice cut through my spiral of panic after class. The visiting lecturer from the Lycan Council gestured me into his empty classroom. "A moment of your time?"
I followed numbly, clutching my probation notice.
"I've reviewed your academic history," he said, his silver-streaked hair catching the afternoon light. "Exceptional until recently. What changed?"
The kindness in his voice nearly broke me. "I've been... distracted," I managed.
"By an Alpha who leaves you in a hospital bed for three days without so much as a text?" His directness startled me. "News travels, even to visiting lecturers."
I stared at the floor, shame burning my cheeks.
"The Lycan Council's European exchange program has an opening," he continued, sliding a folder across his desk. "Three years abroad, working with international packs while completing your studies. Full scholarship, housing stipend included."
My head snapped up. "But I'm—I don't have a wolf."
"Perhaps that's exactly why you're needed." His eyes held mine steadily. "Some wounds can only heal with distance, Miss Ashford. Sometimes the bravest thing is to walk away."
I touched the folder with trembling fingers, feeling something stir in the hollow place inside me where my wolf should be—not quite a voice, but a certainty.
*Run.*
For the first time in four years, I listened.
I stood in the empty hallway, my heart hammering against my ribs as I waited. Professor Blackwood's folder with the European exchange program information felt like it weighed a thousand pounds in my bag. Three years abroad. Three years away from this pain. Three years to find myself again—if there was anything left to find.
Footsteps echoed against the marble floors, and I knew without looking that it was him. Four years of loving someone teaches you the sound of their walk, the rhythm of their breathing, the subtle shift in the air when they enter a room.
"Luna?" Kai's voice carried that hint of surprise it always did when he saw me outside our scheduled meetings—as if my existence in any other context was unexpected.
I kept my gaze fixed on the floor, knowing that one look into those amber eyes would shatter my resolve. "I need to talk to you."
"I'm heading to a pack meeting," he said, already glancing at his watch. "Can it wait?"
"No." The word came out stronger than I expected. "It can't."
Something in my tone made him pause, his full attention landing on me like a physical weight. I forced myself to look up, to meet the eyes of the man who had consumed four years of my life while giving almost nothing in return.
"I'm leaving," I said, the words burning my throat. "I've been accepted to a program abroad."
His expression didn't change at first, as if he couldn't process the information. Then his brows drew together. "What program? For how long?"
"Three years. With the European packs." I took a deep breath, preparing the lie I'd rehearsed all night. "I have to go, Kai. I'm...cursed."
"Cursed?" He almost laughed, but something in my face stopped him.
"Everyone I love suffers," I continued, the words tumbling out now. "My parents died. I'm wolfless. And you—" My voice cracked. "You're tied to someone who can never be what you need. A proper Luna. Someone worthy of an Alpha."
I expected indifference. Maybe even relief. What I didn't expect was the flash of molten gold that suddenly consumed his irises, or the low growl that rumbled from his chest.
In one fluid motion, he had me backed against the wall, his hand closing around my wrist with bruising intensity. "You're not going anywhere," he said, his voice dropping to that Alpha timber that sent shivers down my spine.
"Kai, please—"
"No." His face was inches from mine, his scent—pine and winter—overwhelming my senses. "You don't get to walk away. Not now."
Confusion flooded me. Four years of neglect, and now he couldn't let me go? "Why? You've never—you don't even—"
"I don't what, Luna?" His grip tightened, something desperate and possessive in his eyes that I'd never seen before. "Don't want you? Don't need you?"
Before I could answer, his head snapped up, nostrils flaring. Someone was coming. He released me abruptly, stepping back as if burned.
"This conversation isn't over," he said, straightening his jacket. "We'll discuss this tonight."
Then he was gone, leaving me trembling against the wall, my wrist throbbing where his fingers had been.
* * *
The library had always been my sanctuary. Tucked between ancient tomes on pack law, I could almost forget the hollow ache in my chest. Almost forget that I'd just lied to my mate about being cursed, when the real curse was loving someone who saw me as nothing but a convenience.
I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice the approaching footsteps until it was too late.
"Well, if it isn't the little charity case," Sophie's voice sliced through the quiet, sharp as a blade.
I looked up to find her standing before my table, flanked by her Beta friends—all perfectly groomed, all wearing identical smirks. The library suddenly felt very small, and very public.
"I'm studying, Sophie," I said quietly, trying to turn back to my book.
She slammed it shut, her manicured nails clicking against the cover. "Studying for what? How to trick an Alpha into keeping you around? That scholarship must be the only thing of value about you."
Heat crept up my neck as I noticed other students turning to watch. "Please leave me alone."
"Oh, she says 'please,'" Sophie mocked, looking at her friends. "So polite for someone who's been sleeping with my mate for four years."
"He's not—we haven't—" I stammered, but she cut me off with a laugh that echoed through the suddenly silent library.
"You still don't know, do you?" Her smile was vicious now. "You think he sought you out because he saw something special in you? Poor, pathetic Luna."
My stomach twisted. "What are you talking about?"
"The bet." She leaned in close, her voice dropping to a stage whisper that everyone could still hear. "Liam bet Kai his ceremonial blade that he couldn't claim the untouchable wolfless girl. Four years of your life, and it was all for a knife."
The room spun around me, faces blurring as whispers erupted throughout the library. Four years. A bet. A knife.
"You're lying," I whispered, but even as the words left my mouth, pieces clicked into place. The way he'd pursued me so suddenly. The expensive gifts that first month. The gradual cooling of his interest once he'd 'won.'
"Ask him yourself," Sophie said, straightening up with a triumphant smile. "But don't worry—you were useful while it lasted. He needed someone to wash his clothes and warm his bed while I was away on Beta training."
As she sauntered away, laughter trailing behind her like poison, I sat frozen, the truth seeping into my bones like ice water. Not just unloved, but a joke. A wager. A conquest.
And suddenly, the European exchange program wasn't just an escape—it was salvation.