The family had a hill farm in the border lands between England and Scotland made little money but her father loved it dearly.

He was happy getting up before the sun broke through, looking after stock, mending dry stone walls, injecting sheep against the dozen or so diseases they were prone to, doing all the kinds of job that needed doing on the farm at any time of the year.

Her father was a big man but though he was still tall, he now stooped. He had lived a hard life but it was the life he had chosen for himself and he never regretted it nor complained.

Sharon's mother never complained either nor gave any sign of resentment for toughness of her daily life. She worked as hard as her husband, indoors and out. She made the bread they ate, fed the hens and collected their eggs, killed them too and cooked them.

She washed the clothes and linen, ironed and baked and scrubbed and cleaned.

There was never any money and this had spurred Sharon on to achieve all she possibly could. She soon understood that if she wanted to make it in life, she had to get good grades at school. She had worked with intense concentration and got the results she needed. She had chosen banking as a career be ause she had not wanted to teach, go into law or engage in any other profession.

Her mother's brother who had been a local bank manager had encouraged her telling her that banking was the best career for girls these days.

So, she had come down to London, and got a first job here in the bank, riding with surprising speed as she realized what an aptitude she had for such a job.

She found it all so fascinating, the big bank buildings, the transfer and sale of shares, the electrifying nervous tension of the market whether good or bad, to any one who observed the day to day routine of the bank, banking might seem full but if they were in the middle of the action, then they would definitely feel the excitement and charged tension of it all.

As the years went by, she had grown away from her parents to some extent. She lived her father but she was never able to relax with him. He had tunnel vision, saw life only from one point of view.

She couldn't talk to him, he had no idea about the world she inhabited, the sort of life she lived and she was bored to death with the talk of sheep diseases a d the unending talk about the farm. They had nothing in common anymore except shared blood.

He wouldn't even accept her offer to help out financially even with the hard times they were facing. However, Sharon assured them that she could afford to send them money every month but he wouldn't accept it.

'You keep your money to yourself, girl' was all he said. After living for many years in the farm and grown used to the hard life of the farm, he had become so old fashioned and his pride would not allow him accept anything from anyone even his own daughter. He might have accepted it from a son but never from girl, definitely.

When Sharon had secretly sent some money to her mother, her father had asked her to send it back and her mother had sent it back accompanied with a short note asking Sharon not to do it again.

Joe Smith, her father had fixed ideas, fixed moral standards that he had learnt in his youth. He never watched TV, listened to the radio nor read newspaper. Sharon knew that her father would be shocked if he knew that she had slept with Bryan. He probably thought that she was still a virgin at twenty six, waiting for the right man to come along before she married.

Her mother, Jane Smith was a gentle, tolerant woman but she had never supported Sharon against her father in the past and Sharon didn't think that she ever would.

Jane was the type of woman who said, 'My husband, right or wrong....' and stuck to it.

Nearly sixty now, she looked older, the auburn hair she had passed on to her daughter had turned grey. Her face had too many lines and she seemed to be tired always.

Sharon saw the way, long hours of hard work was turning her mother older and weaker and anytime she went home, it was worse and she had to bite her tongue to prevent her from saying anything to her father because her interference always upset her mother and never achieved anything.

The truth was that her parents had shared everything all through their marriage. There was a deep quiet live between them that never changed and never would.

So it was better for her to go home, very infrequently, she could hold her tongue if she didn't see them always.

Coming back to the present where she was speaking to David about the kind of trip she would have loved to have.

'I've always thought that I'd love to spend Christmas somewhere romantic like Vienna.

'We shall. Why don't you? David said. 'I'd love to go to Vienna for Christmas. Why don't we go together?'

She gave him a startled look and laughed. 'It would be magical, wouldn't it?' She didn't take him serious. She thought that like her, he was just fantasizing, daydreaming.

She had seen a program on TV the other day and had been enchanted by its magnificent walls and everything about it.

'Let's do it!' he said and she suddenly realised that he meant it.

He met her eyes, his coaxing, 'I hate Christmas on my own, friends invite me but family Christmas makes me feel very melancholic indeed. Staying in the hotel is even worse, all that fake jollity and gaudy paper hats, waiters dressed up like father Christmas! But you and me...we both know the score we're just good friends, no complications on either side. So what do you say, Sharon? Will you come?'

There was something so wistful about his tone, she hesitated then threw caution to the winds and nodded recklessly. 'Okay, let's do it!'

They sat and planned it there and then and Sharon went to book the trip the following day. They would fly three days before Christmas and come back a week later, stay in one of the best hotels in Vienna. They were both excited- It brightened the wintery days that followed, like candles burning in a dark place.

But that was before it dawned on her that she had missed two periods. She hadn't bothered so much about the lateness of the first one. She had never had regular periods but she had never gone two months before and as the days went by and nothing happened, she became scared.

What if... but it couldn't be! She had told Bryan that she had taken no precautions and she was sure he had taken the necessary precautions. He had promised that he would take care of it and she had left it in his hands. So she couldn't be going to have his baby.

Two periods missed. She couldn't be going to have Bryan's baby. It was not possible. She was afraid to go to her doctor. She did not know what he would say

Because if it was not what she suspected, which she couldn't even voice aloud to herself even in the privacy of her room so that it would not become reality, then what was wrong with her?

Her doctor, was stuffy middle aged man who didn't look like he would be sympathetic was not the type of person she could go to and tell that she thought that she might be pregnant.

So, she went to the chemist and bought a do - it - yourself pregnancy test. The procedure was complicated but she knew that she wouldn't rest until she found out. She could not wait till the next day but did it that evening.

The result was positive. She stood looking at it with white face and shadowy eyes. She was carrying, Bryan's baby. Her stomach twisted in protest and dismay.

Oh, how had she been so wreckless and stupid? This was a complication' and consequence she had not been expecting. She had kept telling herself that as much as she regretted losing her head that way that night in Rome, at least, she didn't have to bother about being pregnant. How could she have expected to be one in a million that the precaution did not work on?'

In the first shock of realization, she did not know what to do. Her first thought was to have an abortion the sooner , the better. But she was afraid and undecided.

She couldn't make up her mind about something so terrifying and drastic in such a hurry. She needed time to think.

Should she have the child but let it be adopted? Oh but the very thought of going through a pregnancy while working in the bank,and everyone knowing what was happening to her body made her feel sick especially since it meant that Bryan would know as well.

She had no intention of telling him until she couldn't avoid it. This was her body, the decision had to be hers. He had no rights on the baby at all, she told herself bitterly. Not after the way he had behaved.

Sharon wondered if she was jinxed and could not be happy in any relationship.

Her first relationship had been a flop

Though they had gone their separate ways through mutual consent, the second had been a very bitter experience. She had been with him for some years and had thought that they were both in love. At least that the feelings she had for him was reciprocated. She had not even read the signs because she had been blinded by her love for him that when it happened, she had felt numb. She could not believe that it was happening to her.

'Sharon, I have tried to keep this relationship going for sometime now but it seems not to be working', he had said.

Sharon had not understood what he meant.

'Kept the relationship going? Not working? What do you mean?'

'I mean that I have found someone I know you be my soul mate. With her, I feel happy and complete'. Sharon felt as though a punch had been delivered to her stomach.

'You didn't feel happy with me nor complete?'

'Sharon don't be like this. I could have left without saying anything to you and you would have found out yourself through someone else but I value you and that is why I'd rather you heard it from me'.

'You still have not answered my question. Didn't you feel happy nor complete with me?'

'It is not the same thing. I thought I had it all with you though I kept feeling that something was missing. But with Melissa, I do not feel any emptiness of any sort in any part of my life'.

'But if you really felt that way, what have we been doing all this while? You had delibrately been using me to while away the time while you waited for her to accept you? I was just a stop by before you got to your destination isn't it?'

'It is not that way'.

'Ehat way is it then?'

'I had hoped to spare you but you seem to want to hear it all. Alright here goes. I have not really loved you. I thought that I could build on what we had but it was not working like I said earlier but with Melissa, it was love at first sight and the attraction had been instant. We share a chemistry that is beyond anything I can describe. It is better felt than imagined. Being someone with an active conscience, I knew that I couldn't go on deceiving you or allow you find this out yourself', he said looking at her apologetically.

'Who is she, this Melissa?'

She is the daughter of the senator. We have been out a few times and I realized that I wanted permanence with her. We have actually started planning our wedding. The father will take care of everything'.

'Are you talking about that Melissa? Melissa Thrumball?', she asked, realization dawning on her.

'The very same', he did happy that he had got it off his chest.

'I can't believe that you ate marrying her because her parents are rich and mine are just poor farmers. We could work out our future together. We have a bright future ahead of is and we can make our own way rather than depend on others or on their money'.

'It is not the money. Okay, the money is an added incentive but I loved her first before realizing who she was', he had said defensively but Sharon had known that it was mainly because of the money and the fame and connection, such a relationship would get him that had made him break up with her for Melissa.

She had given her heart to that relationship. She had waited for years to be made his wife but he never got around to it but the girl he saw in just a couple of weeks and they were already going through wedding plans.

She had not been a le to go into any other relationship after that. It had hurt her deeply. She could not bring herself to trust any man enough to give her heart and now she who thought she despised Bryan when he came along had been foolish and reckless enough to sell her pride and allow him to have her and now she had to bear the consequences alone. It was just not fair. Why must the woman always pay? What about the man? she wailed inwardly.

She was still wondering if she was jinxed and how her parents, her puritan parents would react to the news of her pregnancy when she fell into a troubled sleep.

She was still trying to make up her mind what to do when she and David flew to Frankfurt in November to have a series of meetings with Gerhard and other top German bank officials.

When the business of the day was over, Gerhard showed them Frankfurt's night life.

They were staying in a grand hotel of the type David most enjoyed. Each evening,Gerhard arrived in a chauffeur driven Limousine to take them out to dinner and dance. David tired early and would suggest that Sharon should stay on till later but she wouldn't hear of it. 'I have to get up early too', she would protest and go back to the hotel when he went.

For David, the best night was the one when Gerhard took them to the City Opera at the arts complex. David managed to stay awake for that but in their last night in Frankfurt, he went to bed early and didn't come out at all.

Gerhard took Sharon to the latest disco to open in Frankfurt. They shouted at each other and danced in a darkness split every second by a revolving flash of coloured neon light, the heavy beat of the music raving around them.

Gerhard kissed her on the car on the way back to her hotel and murmured thickly, 'Can I come in tonight?'

She had been expecting the question ever since they arrived. When he had visited them in London and they had gone out for Lunch with David, she had noticed that his interest in her ran deep but she had not given him any opportunity to say what he had in mind because she knew that she was not interested in him that way and did not want to hurt his feelings by encouraging him and then refusing him. She was not a tease afterall.

And this had also been the reason she had always avoided being alone with him after David went to bed.

She stiffened in his arms,very flushed.'I...I'm sorry, Gerhard...no'.

He looked down at her intently. 'Do you mean not tonight?Or never Sharon?'

'I like you Gerhard, you know that. I find you very attractive and charming. You've really been a wonderful host and I've enjoyed my stay here....'

'But...?' he said dryly.

She couldn't meet his eyes.

'There's someone else?' he asked and she hesitated, then nodded. 'I think I can guess', Gerhard said.

Her green eyes lifted in shock.

Gerhard smiled crookedly at her. Bryan Ferdinand, isn't it? I picked up vibes between the two of you in Rome'. She flinched. Had it been so obvious?

'It was like being caught in an electric storm. I almost ducked one or twice', Gerhard drawled. 'But I wasn't sure if you hated him or loved him, so I thought...', he shrugged with wry sophistication. 'What do you say in England... Nothing venture, nothing gain. You are beautiful and clever. I rarely meet girls who I find as attractive as I find you'.

She blushed and said shyly. 'Thank you Gerhard', I like you too very much,you know'.

'That's nice. I'll try and feel comforted by the thought', he said wryly. ' Well, no hard feelings Sharon. I have really enjoyed showing you and David around Frankfurt. I hope you come back soon. I'll certainly be around London sometime in the new year. And who knows, if you and Bryan never get it together, there might be a happy ending for me?'

Sharon was shake. 'Gerhard, I don't know what to say'. She had been expecting him to make a pass but she hadn't thought for a second that he might be serious about her. Was he saying that he was?

He gave her one of his charming dry smiles. 'Don't look at me like a wounded fawn, Sharon. My heart isn't broken. I'll live'.

They arrived at her hotel and Gerhard kissed her hand lingeringly. 'It had been a magical interlude, thank you very much Sharon'.

For some stupid reason, tears filled her eyes.

'You're too kind, Gerhard, you've made our trip here so wonderful'. She hugged him, gave a husky sob and ran into the hotel.

She lay awake half the night thinking that if she hadn't met Bryan, she might have fallen in love with Gerhard and been very happy with him. It was another reason why she hated Bryan. He had blighted her life in so many ways.

If she had not been pregnant, she might also have considered giving Gerhard a chance though she did not know how that would have been possible when she was always consumed by thoughts, mostly erotic thoughts of Bryan.

She and David left for the airport, early the next morning. Sharon was pale and strained.She had headache and felt queasy in the airport bus. She was afraid at a time that she was going to throw up. David d kept looking at her anxiously as they waited in the check in queue.

'Are you sure you're not coming down with something? You look terrible' Sharon'.

'Too many late nights', she said lightly.

The queue seemed to be crawling along. They had been standing there for ten minutes. She wished she could sit down. She felt very strange.

'Sharon....' she heard David say from afar and that was when she realised that she was going to faint.

She crumpled up without a sound, her auburn hair tumbling round her white face.

They called the airport doctor and Sharon was taken protesting into a quiet room where the doctor examined her, asking her questions which David interpreted for her and the interpreted her replies.

After a few minutes, David said, 'He wants to know if there has been any other symptoms?'

Sharon hesitated biting her lips.

Her hesitation did not escape the doctor who asked David something sharply.

David gave her a quick startled look then said, 'He says..

could you be pregnant?'

Sharon didn't meet his eyes. She nodded.

David d didn't have to translate that. The doctor smiled, said, 'Ah!' and added a flow of quick German which David did not know translate.

'He says that is the probable explanation for the faint then', David quietly said.'If you have further problems, you should see your own doctor when you get home.

They left the doctor and walked through the busy echoing traffic without speaking, bought some news papers and magazines which they read while they waited to board the plane.

On the flight, Sharon avoided meeting David's eyes, and he was grimly silent, his face absorbed.