Chapter 2

He was awake before I opened my eyes.

I knew because the apartment had that particular quality of stillness that only happens when someone is trying very hard not to make noise. I lifted my head from where I'd fallen asleep in the kitchen chair, my neck stiff, my knees still pulled to my chest, and found him sitting on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees, looking at the room.

Not looking. Cataloguing.

His eyes moved slowly, methodically, the way you'd read a document you needed to memorize. The two toothbrushes in the cup by the sink. The men's shoes by the door — his shoes, though he didn't know that. The gray hoodie draped over the back of the chair, the one I'd given him last night, the one he'd folded and set there instead of leaving on the floor the way he always used to.

I stayed still and watched him work.

He stood up. Moved to the kitchen counter and ran his fingers along the edge of the tile, the chipped corner near the stove. Opened the cabinet above the coffee maker. Closed it. Opened the one beside it. His hand found the vanilla syrup on the second shelf, and he held it for a moment, turning it over, then set it back exactly where it had been.

Then he turned and saw the photo strip.

I'd moved it. I'd meant to take it down last night, but I hadn't been able to make myself do it. It was still there, pinned to the refrigerator with a magnet shaped like a cactus we'd bought at a gas station in Arizona three years ago. Four frames. Two people with nothing, completely happy.

Holden went very still.

He reached out and unpinned it. Held it up to the gray morning light coming through the window. His jaw tightened. I watched his throat move as he swallowed.

The woman in the photos was the woman standing in the kitchen doorway.

He turned around.

Our eyes met. Neither of us said anything for a long moment. The refrigerator hummed. Outside, the rain had stopped, and the street was quiet in that washed-clean way it gets after a long storm.

"Were we together?" he asked.

His voice was steady. His eyes were not. They had that searching, unguarded quality I'd seen last night in the doorway — the look of someone reaching for something just out of reach, desperate not to spook it.

I could have deflected. I'd had all night to build the deflection, to construct something careful and protective that would keep us both at a safe distance. I'd told myself I would. I'd made a whole plan.

But he was looking at me like that, and I was so tired.

"Yes," I said.

He didn't react the way I expected. No shock. No disbelief. He just looked back down at the photo strip, at the frame where he was looking at me like I was the only thing in the picture, and something in his face went very quiet.

"How long?"

"Six years."

He nodded slowly. Set the photo strip down on the counter with the same careful precision he'd used with the vanilla syrup. Then he looked up at me again.

"I believe you," he said. "I want you to know that. I'm not — I'm not saying it to be kind." He paused. "Everything in this apartment. Everything in my own body. It all confirms it." His eyes moved to the hoodie on the chair, then back to me. "I knew those were my clothes before I touched them. I knew which side of the bed was mine. I sat down on it without thinking." A beat. "I knew the soup was going to be good before I tasted it."

My chest hurt. I pressed my hand flat against the counter.

"Holden —"

"Let me fall in love with you again."

The words landed quietly. No performance in them. Just a man saying the only thing that made sense to him.

I looked at him for a long time. At the cut above his eyebrow, still healing. At the bruise along his jaw, fading to yellow at the edges. At his hands, loose at his sides, not reaching, just waiting.

"Okay," I said. It came out barely above a whisper.

He nodded once. Like we'd agreed on something real.

---

The days that followed had a quality I don't have a good word for. Suspended, maybe. Like the apartment existed slightly outside of time, and the rest of the world — the headlines, the search, Nash's unanswered calls piling up on Holden's phone — was happening to someone else, somewhere far away.

Holden relearned me the way you learn a city by walking it. Not through information. Through proximity.

He noticed that I took my coffee black in the morning but that on the third day, when I burned the toast and couldn't find my keys and spilled half the coffee on the counter, I reached for the vanilla syrup without thinking. He didn't say anything. He just watched me pour it, and something in his expression shifted — recognition without memory, like a word he knew the feeling of but couldn't quite pronounce.

He noticed that I tucked my feet under myself on the couch when I read. That I went quiet instead of sharp when something hurt me. That I hummed while I cooked, always the same half-remembered melody, and stopped the moment I realized I was doing it.

"Don't," he said the second time I stopped.

"Don't what?"

"Stop humming." He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, watching me stir something on the stove. "You do it and then you catch yourself and you stop, and the room feels different after."

I turned back to the stove. After a moment, I started again, quietly.

He reached for my hand without thinking on the fourth day. We were sitting on the couch, close but not touching, watching rain streak down the window again, and his hand just moved across the cushion and found mine. His fingers closed around it. He didn't look at me. I didn't look at him.

I let him.

That was the word for it, I realized. Not suspended. Fragile. The whole thing was made of glass — the mornings, the soup, the humming, his hand in mine — and I was so careful not to breathe too hard. Because I knew, in the part of me that never stopped knowing, that this couldn't last.

But his thumb moved slowly across my knuckles, back and forth, the way it always used to.

And for now, that was enough.

Chapter 3

I woke up to the sound of humming.

Not mine.

I lay still for a moment, eyes open, staring at the water stain on the ceiling I'd memorized over six years of mornings. The melody drifted in from the kitchen — low, unhurried, the same half-remembered tune I'd been humming my whole life without ever knowing where I'd picked it up.

Holden was humming it.

I sat up slowly. He was at the stove with his back to me, turning something in the pan. He'd found the eggs. He'd found the spatula in the second drawer, the one that sticks. He was wearing his gray hoodie and a pair of socks that didn't match, and he was humming our song without knowing it was ours.

I pressed my fingers to my mouth.

He didn't hear me get up. I went to the bathroom and turned on the faucet and stood over the sink until my face stopped doing what it was doing. I looked at myself in the mirror. At the photo strip beside it — the four frames, the stolen kiss, me laughing with my eyes closed.

I turned the faucet off and went back out.

'You're up,' he said, without turning around. 'I made eggs. I don't know if you like eggs.'

'I like eggs,' I said.

'Good.' He slid them onto a plate and set it on the counter. Then he paused, spatula still in his hand, and tilted his head slightly. 'I was humming just now.'

'I heard.'

'Do you know that song?'

I pulled out the counter stool and sat down. 'A little.'

He set the spatula down. Turned to look at me. His eyes had that searching quality again — reaching for something just past the edge of what he could see.

'It was already in my head when I woke up,' he said. 'I don't know where it came from.'

I picked up my fork. 'Maybe you heard it somewhere.'

He looked at me for another moment. Then he let it go, the way he'd been letting things go all week — carefully, like setting down something fragile he wasn't sure he had the right to hold.

'Eat,' he said. 'The eggs are getting cold.'

---

He left mid-morning without telling me where he was going.

I noticed the baseball cap missing from the hook by the door. The sunglasses he'd found in the junk drawer — mine, oversized, ridiculous on him — were gone too. I stood in the middle of the apartment and told myself not to panic. Told myself he was fine. Told myself this was fine.

I washed the breakfast dishes. I folded the blanket on the couch. I sat down and picked up my phone and put it back down.

He was gone for forty minutes.

When the door opened, he was carrying a paper-wrapped bundle of gardenias.

I don't know what my face did. I know I turned away fast, toward the window, toward the street below where a woman was walking a dog and a kid was riding a bike and the world was just going on like normal. I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth.

Gardenias. He'd bought me gardenias.

He'd walked past every other flower at that stand — the roses, the lilies, the sunflowers — and his hands had reached for gardenias. The same way they always had. The same flower, every time, for six years, because he'd said once that they smelled like something worth coming home to.

His mind didn't remember that.

His hands did.

'Hey.' His voice was careful behind me. 'Did I do something wrong?'

'No.' I got the word out clean. Turned back around. My eyes were wet. I couldn't do anything about that. 'No, you didn't do anything wrong.'

He looked at me. Then at the flowers in his hands. Something moved across his face — not quite confusion, not quite recognition. Something in between.

'I walked past everything else,' he said slowly. 'I didn't even stop. I just — knew.' He held them out to me. 'Is that strange?'

I took them. The paper was cool and slightly damp. The smell hit me all at once — clean and sweet and unbearable.

'It's not strange,' I said.

I went to find a glass for them before he could see my face again.

---

I didn't know about the photo until Jenna texted me at 2:47 in the afternoon.

She sent a link with no message. Just the link.

I clicked it.

The headline read: HOLDEN ARMSTRONG SPOTTED? Blurry Photo Sparks Frenzy — Mystery Woman in Window Identified as Bellamy Russell.

The photo was grainy. Shot through glass, from the street, with a long lens. You could see the shape of the window frame, the edge of the kitchen counter, the pale blur of the gardenias. And two silhouettes — one standing, one reaching forward, the flowers passing between them.

The comments were already in the thousands.

omg HOLDEN AND BELLAMY I KNEW IT

the way he's giving her flowers??? I'm not okay

they've been together this whole time, calling it

I put my phone face-down on the counter.

Holden was on the couch, reading a paperback he'd found on the shelf — one of mine, a beat-up thriller with a cracked spine. He hadn't looked up.

I stood at the counter and breathed.

The silhouette in that photo was me. My hair, my shoulders, my hands taking those flowers. But the internet had looked at the shape of a woman and filled it in with someone else's face. Someone famous. Someone who made sense in the story they already wanted to tell.

I was invisible even in my own window.

I picked up my phone again. Jenna had sent a second text.

*Wyn. How long do you think this stays contained?*

I stared at the message. Across the room, Holden turned a page. The afternoon light came through the window and fell across his hands, his jaw, the fading bruise along his cheekbone.

I typed back: *I don't know.*

I set the phone down. Went to the stove. Started making something for dinner, because it was the only thing I knew how to do when everything else was slipping.

After a moment, I started to hum.

From the couch, without looking up from his book, Holden hummed the next bar back to me.

Neither of us said anything about it.

The gardenias sat in their glass on the counter, white and still, smelling like something worth coming home to. Outside, the internet was already writing a story about us — getting every single detail wrong — and in here, in this small apartment that the world couldn't quite see into, Holden Armstrong was humming a song he didn't know he knew.

I kept my back to him so he wouldn't see my face.

I kept humming anyway.

Chapter 4

Jenna called at 4:12 p.m.

I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door before I answered. The faucet dripped. I sat on the edge of the tub.

'Tell me you see what I see,' she said. No hello. No warmup.

'Jenna —'

'That's you in the photo, Wyn. I know your shoulders. I know the way you stand.' Her voice was tight, controlled, the way it gets when she's working very hard not to yell. 'How long has he been there?'

I looked at the grout between the floor tiles. 'A few days.'

Silence. Then: 'A few days.'

'He showed up in the rain. He didn't know where else to go.'

'He didn't know where else to go because his body remembered what his brain can't.' She exhaled hard. 'Wyn. Listen to me. Nash Perry has a team of people whose entire job is finding him. It's been four days. You think they're not close?'

I didn't answer.

'And when they find him — when Nash walks through that door — what exactly is your plan? What do you say? What does Holden say, when he doesn't even know your name?'

'He knows my name.'

'Does he know what you are to him?'

The faucet dripped. Outside the door, I could hear Holden moving in the kitchen. The soft sound of a cabinet opening.

'I told him we were together,' I said. 'He believed me.'

'Of course he believed you. He's standing in an apartment full of his own stuff and he doesn't know why.' Her voice dropped. 'That's not the same as him knowing, Wynter. You know that.'

I pressed my free hand flat against my knee.

'I know that,' I said.

'Then what are you doing?'

I didn't have an answer. Not one I could say out loud. I was doing the only thing I'd been able to do since he appeared at my door — I was keeping him close for as long as the world would let me. I was memorizing the way he hummed in the morning and reached for my hand without thinking and looked at the gardenias like they were a clue he almost understood.

I was being selfish. I knew that too.

'I'll figure it out,' I said.

'Wyn —'

'I'll call you later.'

I hung up. Sat there for another minute. Then I stood, ran cold water over my wrists, and went back out.

Holden had made tea. He set a mug on the counter without being asked, the way he always used to, and went back to the couch. I wrapped both hands around the mug and looked at the gardenias in their glass.

I didn't call Jenna back.

---

They came at 6:40.

Three hard knocks. Not a knock, really — a statement. The kind of knock that already knows you're home.

I felt it in my sternum.

Holden looked up from the couch. Our eyes met. Something moved across his face — not fear, exactly. Wariness. The animal instinct of a person who has been running and just heard a branch snap.

I went to the door.

Nash Perry was in a charcoal jacket, phone in hand, jaw set. He looked at me the way you look at a piece of furniture that's blocking a doorway — registering the obstacle, already calculating how to move it. His eyes went past me before I'd fully opened the door.

'Holden.' His voice was flat and certain. 'Let's go.'

Bellamy was just behind him.

She was wearing a cream-colored coat, her hair loose, her expression arranged into something soft and worried and perfectly lit. She looked like a woman who had been sick with fear for four days. She looked like a woman who had practiced looking like that.

She stepped around Nash and around me — around me, like I was part of the doorframe — and moved straight to Holden.

'Oh thank God.' Her hand found his arm. Her fingers curled around it. 'Holden. We've been so scared.'

Holden stood up slowly. He looked at her hand on his arm. He looked at her face. I watched him search it the same way he'd searched mine that first night — looking for something to hold onto, some thread of recognition.

'I'm sorry,' he said carefully. 'I don't —'

'It's okay.' She squeezed his arm. Her voice was gentle, practiced, warm. 'It's okay. You don't have to explain anything. I'm just glad you're safe.'

Nash had come inside. He hadn't asked. He stood in the middle of the apartment and looked around with the brisk, assessing gaze of a man doing inventory. His eyes moved over the two toothbrushes, the men's shoes by the door, the gardenias on the counter. His jaw tightened slightly.

Then he looked at me. Really looked at me, for the first time.

'You're the extra,' he said. 'From the Meridian set.'

Not a question. Just a classification.

'Wynter,' I said.

He didn't repeat it. 'You should have called the hospital the moment he showed up. You should have called me.' He said it without heat, the way you'd explain a policy to someone who'd violated it without understanding the rules. 'Do you have any idea what these four days have cost?'

'He needed somewhere safe.'

'He needed medical supervision.' Nash's eyes moved back to Holden. 'We're leaving. The car's downstairs. I've already called Dr. Reeves — he'll meet us at Cedars.'

Holden hadn't moved. He was still standing by the couch, Bellamy's hand still on his arm, and he was looking at me.

Not at Nash. Not at Bellamy.

At me.

That searching look. That reaching-for-something look. His eyes moved to the gardenias on the counter, then back to my face.

'I don't want to go,' he said.

Nash didn't miss a beat. 'That's the injury talking. You need —'

'I'm not talking to you.' Holden's voice was quiet. Steady. He was still looking at me. 'I don't want to go.'

The apartment was very small and very still. Bellamy's hand tightened on his arm, just slightly. I saw it.

I looked at him. At the cut above his eyebrow, almost healed now. At his hands, loose at his sides. At the way he was standing — not toward the door, not toward Bellamy, but angled, almost imperceptibly, toward me.

His body, doing what his mind couldn't.

'You should go,' I said. My voice came out even. I was proud of that. 'Nash is right. You need a doctor.'

Something shifted in his face. A tightening around the eyes. 'Wynter —'

'You need to go, Holden.'

He looked at me for a long moment. The refrigerator hummed. The gardenias sat white and still on the counter.

Then Nash's hand came down on his shoulder, steering, and Bellamy was already moving toward the door, and Holden let himself be moved — but he kept his eyes on me until the angle of the doorframe took him away.

The door closed.

I stood in the middle of the apartment and listened to their footsteps go down the hall, down the stairs, out into the street.

Then I walked to the counter. I picked up the gardenias. I held them for a moment — the cool stems, the smell of them, clean and sweet and unbearable.

I set them back down.

I didn't cry. Not yet. I just stood there in the quiet, in the apartment that still smelled like him, and I breathed.

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