After Eight Years, I Walked Away

At the party, someone started up a round of "Never Have I Ever."

One of the guys had had too much to drink, and he grinned as he said it:

"I've secretly gone on a trip alone with my girlfriend's best friend behind her back."

Everyone at the table cursed him for being scum, and they all folded down a finger.

Everyone except my boyfriend, Desmond Gilbert.

Across the table, Beverly Matthews' eyes went red.

"Ramona Dickerson, don't get the wrong idea."

"I'd just gone through a breakup back then. He was only keeping me company."

The next turn came around to Desmond.

As if to prove he had nothing to hide, he reached over and pulled Beverly's hand toward him.

"I've bought a ring for my girlfriend's best friend."

On Beverly's pinky sat a plain band.

Last month, out shopping, I'd tried that exact ring on.

Desmond had slipped it off my finger and handed it back to the clerk.

"A ring isn't the kind of thing you give someone lightly."

And now it was on my best friend's hand.

Beverly hurried to pull her hand back.

"Desmond, stop."

But he didn't let go.

"It's just a birthday present."

"Don't read into it."

I looked at their joined hands, then slowly looked down at my own.

Five fingers, and somewhere along the way, only one of them was still standing.

This round of the game, this relationship. It seemed like the one losing was me either way.

...

Someone in the private room let out a couple of awkward laughs.

"Des, you... gave a ring as a birthday present?"

Beverly's eyes reddened further, and she scrambled to pull her hand back again.

"Ramona, don't overthink it."

"It's just a plain birthday present, I swear."

Desmond frowned, and instead of letting go, he only gripped Beverly's hand tighter.

"You don't need to explain anything to her."

"That's just how Ramona is. She blows everything up into a federal case."

He turned to me, an edge of impatience in his voice.

"The reason I didn't buy you one back then is that I knew a ring wasn't what you wanted."

"What you wanted was a promise."

"Beverly's different."

"She's just happy to get a gift. She doesn't back me into a corner over it."

Beverly gave his sleeve a light tug.

"Desmond, stop it..."

But he only let out a low laugh.

"What's the big deal? Why can't I say it?"

"Always nagging about marriage. It's so much pressure."

I looked at the ring on Beverly's pinky.

And suddenly I remembered her birthday.

It was the seventeenth.

The same day Desmond had promised to come meet my parents.

That day, my parents had taken a three-hour train to see him.

We waited from noon until dusk.

All we got, in the end, was one message from Desmond.

【Something came up at work. Let's do it another time.】

I looked at Desmond.

"So that day, when you stood us up and skipped meeting my parents, you were off celebrating her birthday?"

Beverly ducked her head and started working the ring off.

"I honestly didn't know that day was when you two were meeting the parents."

"Ramona, if it bothers you, I'll give it back to you."

Desmond's face darkened, and he grabbed Beverly's hand.

"It was a gift for you. Keep it. There's nothing to give back."

He turned to me with a look of pure disappointment.

"Ramona, I know you're in a hurry to get married, but meeting the parents doesn't have to be that one day."

"You didn't have time to celebrate Beverly's birthday, so I did it for you. And you're still not happy?"

I looked down at my own hand.

Five fingers, and only the last one was still up.

Slowly, I curled it back into my palm.

Five fingers, all folded down.

"No need to give it back. I don't want it."

Desmond frowned.

"Ramona, what's that supposed to mean?"

I picked up my bag and stood.