I had no interest in keeping up with Lin Wentao and Li Xiangyun's developments.
I just didn't expect him to come knocking on my door.
I had just finished getting ready for bed when there was someone knocking loudly on the wooden door.
When I opened it, there stood Lin Wentao in the moonlight, with that familiar look of wanting to say something but holding back.
"Lin Shuang, I... I have something to tell you."
His eyes kept darting into my room, but I stood firm at the door, not letting him in.
"It's late. If there's something to say, let's talk at the factory tomorrow."
"Just a few words!"
He suddenly raised his voice, then quickly lowered it. "It's about today, about Li Xiangyun... "
"She asked me to take her child to the park this weekend, and I agreed... "
I waited for him to continue, but it turned out he came over just to tell me this.
I responded with an "Oh, " turned around, and started tidying up my washbasin as if nothing had happened.
He waited for a while, seeing I had no reaction, and his voice suddenly became urgent. "You have nothing to say?" I was puzzled. "Say what? Wish you a good time?"
"Oh, right. Just a reminder to bring an umbrella. The weather forecast says it might rain this weekend."
Lin Wentao's hand clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white.
When he looked up again, his brows were furrowed.
"Chen Linshuang, what do you mean? I came over in the middle of the night to tell you this, and this is your attitude?"
"What's wrong with my attitude? Isn't this normal? What kind of attitude were you expecting?"
I sat down, unfazed, and looked at him.
Lin Wentao's expression showed a moment of shock, probably surprised by my behavior.
After all, I was the one who used to say he could only be mine and not get too close to Li Xiangyun.
And I was the one who would use money to keep him by my side when things got rough.
He pursed his lips, seemingly sensing something was off about me, and patiently explained, "No, I just... didn't want you to misunderstand, so I came to tell you. Actually, Li Xiangyun and I are just work colleagues. I agreed to her request because I felt awkward refusing... "
"Oh, right! The factory is allocating housing, and I'm planning to choose the one in the west of the city, just to be closer to you. We can go to and from work together. How about it?"
Hearing this, my eyelids twitched. When I looked up, I was met with Lin Wentao's smiling face.
In the past, I would have been grateful for this gesture, thinking he had some genuine feelings for me.
But having gone through it once, I now understood it was all just a tactic.
Every time I was about to lose hope, he would give me some semblance of hope, making me think I was about to win his heart.
So, willingly, I followed him, giving him everything.
But in the end, it was like drawing water with a sieve.
I shook my head, put the enamel mug on the table, and prepared to see him out.
"No need. I'm on a tight schedule and don't have time to wait for anyone."
"It's late. You should go back. We don't want to give people the wrong impression."
Lin Wentao's face changed instantly.
He thought I was still mad at him, and his eyes widened in anger.
"Chen Linshuang! Are you still mad about Li Xiangyun asking me to the park?"
"I already said I only agreed because I felt awkward refusing. Why are you being so nitpicky?"
"Is that so?" I interrupted him. "Then was giving Li Xiangyun a scarf last winter also because you felt awkward? And bringing her mung bean soup every day last month, was that awkward too? How can someone be so persistently awkward?"
His face turned pale, and his lips trembled as if he was shivering.
"You... you've been following me?!"
I sneered. "The textile factory isn't that big. Do I need to follow you? And what's our relationship that would make it worth my effort?"
"Then why do you care about my business?"
He suddenly raised his voice, his finger almost poking my nose.
I slowly leaned closer, looking at him with cold eyes.
"That's a question I should be asking you. Since we have no relationship, why did you come to explain in the middle of the night?"
Lin Wentao's chest heaved violently, and if you looked closely, his eyes were rimmed with red, as if I had angered him to tears.
In the past life, this would have made me feel sorry for him for months. Now, it just seemed laughable.
In the end, his face flushed red with anger, and he left with a huff, slamming the door so hard it echoed.
I stood by the window, waiting for the sound of his footsteps to completely disappear, then pulled out the neatly pressed housing application form from the bottom of the drawer.
In the section for preferred address, I firmly wrote "East of the city."
In the past life, he did choose the house in the west, claiming it was to be closer to me, but in reality, it was just to make it easier to use me.
I acted like a servant in his house, preparing three meals a day for him, while he took the child to meet Li Xiangyun.
So this time, I must stay far away from him!
After that day, Lin Wentao and I found ourselves giving each other the silent treatment.
I was more than happy to enjoy the peace, as I had been wanting to distance myself from him for a while; the sooner, the better.
However, he would occasionally wander over to where a few of us colleagues were gathered, seemingly trying to get my attention, only to storm off in frustration when I ignored him.
It happened so many times that even people around us started noticing something was off.
On the day we were assigned housing, the meeting room was packed.
I sat in a corner, listening to some of the long-time colleagues stir up a ruckus.
"Lingshuang, I heard Lin Wentao chose the apartment on the west side of town. You're a lucky girl!"
"I was surprised, given you two seemed to be arguing a few days ago! You better seize this opportunity."
Ms. Zhang nudged me with her elbow, her smile full of teasing.
Seeing this, Xiao Wang joined in the fun:
"Exactly, exactly, you have the inside track! Once it all works out, remember to invite us to the wedding banquet!"
I smiled but didn't respond, fiddling with the pen in my hand.
If this were my previous life, hearing them say such things would have made me bubble over with joy.
Now? Hah.
"Quiet! Quiet! We're announcing the housing assignments now."
The director knocked on the table, bringing silence to the room.
I glanced up to see Lin Wentao in the front row, nervously gripping his pen, occasionally looking back at me.
"Apartment 302, Unit 2, Building 3 on the west side, assigned to Comrade Lin Wentao."
The room erupted in cheers.
Ms. Zhang patted my shoulder vigorously:
"Lingshuang, did you hear? It's right next door to you!"
People around us chattered endlessly, but the topic never strayed from the two of us.
Lin Wentao stood up, his face flushed: "Everyone, please don't say that…"
His voice lacked conviction, yet his eyes kept darting in my direction.
The director coughed again:
"Quiet! Additionally, considering that Comrade Chen Lingshuang has moved to the single-house on the east side of town, which is farther from the factory, we have decided to adjust her work shifts. Yang Li, you'll switch with her."
As soon as these words were spoken, the room buzzed with excitement.
Everyone turned to look at me, and Ms. Zhang's jaw nearly hit the floor:
"Lingshuang, you moved to the east side…"
I nodded, catching a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of Lin Wentao's face turning ashen, his notebook dropping to the floor.
As the meeting ended, before the room had completely cleared, Lin Wentao stood in the doorway blocking my path.
He grabbed my sleeve: "Chen Lingshuang, why didn't you tell me you were moving?"
I slowly pulled my sleeve free: "Why should I tell you? Didn't you say we have nothing to do with each other?"
His face flushed and paled, his lips trembling: "You…
You're lying, aren't you? You just want to see me worried about you!"
I glanced at him, ignoring him, and walked straight out.
Behind me, his anxious voice called out:
"Chen Lingshuang! Stop!"
I didn't turn back, nor did I slow my pace.
When I got home, I started packing my things.
There wasn't much, really; in my past life, most of my belongings had gone into the bottomless pit that was Lin Wentao.
As I was packing, I heard the gate swing open with a bang.
Lin Wentao's son, Xiao Jun, stood at the door, looking displeased: "Aunt Chen, are you moving away?"
Without lifting my head, I continued tying up a box: "Yes."
"Then who's going to cook for us? Who's going to give us money?"
This little brat spoke with the same entitlement as his father.
I straightened up, looking at the ungrateful brat whom I once treated like my own son: "Find someone else willing to be a pushover."
Xiao Jun paused, then shouted at the top of his lungs: "Dad! Aunt Chen is being mean!"
Lin Wentao rushed in from outside upon hearing this: "Chen Lingshuang, what do you mean? What did the kid do to you?"
I picked up the last box and headed out: "Nothing, just tired of being a pushover."
The moving company's truck was already waiting at the alley's entrance.
I tossed the box onto the truck and turned back to look at the small courtyard I had lived in for ten years.
In my past life, I stubbornly refused to move, wanting to stay close to Lin Wentao; thinking back now, it was foolish.
As the truck started moving, Lin Wentao chased after it, his voice filled with panic: "Chen Lingshuang!
Are you really moving away?"
I didn't answer directly, just opened the car door and motioned to the driver: "Driver, let's go."
In the rearview mirror, Lin Wentao stood there, his face pale.
Xiao Jun was still yelling: "Dad! She's gone, who's going to buy us new backpacks?"
I rolled up the car window, glancing away.
Whoever wants to buy them can, but I'm done serving those two.
Due to the move, the factory granted me a few days off.
As a result, I hadn't seen Lin Wentao for several days.
On the last day, I prepared a table full of dishes, even braising some meat as a treat for myself.
Just as I was about to start eating, there was a knock at the door from outside the courtyard.
It was Lin Wentao, and he brought his son along.
"Ms. Chen! Open the door!"Little Jun called out, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, while pushing hard against the door.
I carried my bowl to the courtyard and asked through the door, "What's the matter?"
"Ms. Chen, my dad said there's no food at home today, so he brought me here to eat with you."
Through the crack in the door, I could see Lin Wentao standing behind, holding an empty lunchbox.
This scene was all too familiar; in my past life, it happened countless times.
Back then, I yearned to get closer to Little Jun, thinking it was a great honor for them to come to my house for meals.
I was eager to give them all the ration coupons I had saved up.
Who would have thought that I'd end up feeding two ingrates?
I couldn't help but roll my eyes and coughed deliberately.
"I'm not feeling well today. You should go eat at the cafeteria."
"What? Are you feeling unwell? Did you catch a cold?"
Lin Wentao moved closer, feigning concern.
I saw through his act; he was someone who always expected others to wait on him hand and foot. What ginger tea could he possibly make?
I declined directly, "No need. I've taken medicine and need to rest. You should go back."
"Wait! I have good news for you!"
Lin Wentao grew anxious and knocked a few more times.
"The factory approved my transfer request. Next week, I'll be joining your textile department!"
My steps faltered.
I had heard about this a few days ago, assuming it was just a joke. I never imagined it to be true.
"We'll be colleagues in the same department from now on. Being close, we can look out for each other."
There was a hint of flattery in his voice, but I remained unmoved, responding curtly, "There's nothing to look out for, " and turned back inside.
Behind me, Lin Wentao raised his voice, "Chen Lingshuang!
What do you mean by this? I've done all this, and you're still not satisfied?"
I ignored him, went inside, and shut the door.
Outside, there was a brief silence before Little Jun's whiny voice came through, "Dad, I'm hungry!"
"Eat, eat, eat, that's all you know!" Lin Wentao snapped suddenly, "Let's go home!"
Listening to the father and son walk away, I leisurely finished my feast, then sat at the table and filled out my resignation letter.
Early the next morning, I went straight to the director's office.
The director struggled to understand my decision to resign, reluctant to see me go.
He tried to persuade me for nearly an hour, talking about everything from new economic policies bringing change and opportunity to the factory's development prospects, and even revisited the topic of salary and benefits.
Seeing that I was unmoved, he finally sighed, "Think it over.
I'll keep this letter for now."
I got up to leave, and as I opened the office door, I saw Lin Wentao standing outside, his eyes red.
It seemed he had overheard my conversation inside.
"Are you resigning? Leaving? Is it because I'm transferring over?"
"Lingshuang, didn't you once say you hoped we could work together, walking home slowly after work? Why... "
"You said it yourself, " I interrupted him, walking past him with a blank expression, "That was in the past."
"Chen Lingshuang! Is it necessary to go this far? Ever since I agreed to go out with Li Xiangyun, you've been avoiding me as if I had a contagious disease!"
"You... you just want to be with me and are angry because I laughed and chatted with another woman!"
"Isn't it enough that I've agreed? Can't you stop being so cold?"
He finally began to panic, feeling anxious when he realized I truly intended to leave him.
But unfortunately, this wasn't some game of hard-to-get. I genuinely didn't want anything to do with him anymore.
I turned to look at him.
Lin Wentao's eyes were brimming with tears, and he didn't bother hiding it, grabbing my arm to keep me from leaving.
Colleagues in the corridor were already glancing our way. I shook off his hand and lowered my voice, "Lin Wentao, you may want to be with me, but I don't want to be with you anymore. So... have some dignity and stop pulling at me."
It was as if he'd been burned; he recoiled his hand, tears streaming down his face, "Fine, fine!
Go ahead and leave, but don't come back!"
Without looking back, I left him behind, already planning to buy a train ticket heading south.
The winds of change carried by economic changes were blowing across the country. This time, I was determined to live for myself.