After Becoming Each Other's First Love Substitutes

I died.

I died on New Year's Eve when everyone was celebrating the coming of a new year.

Just as I was dying, my mother pushed open my door.

"You're still sleeping! All you do is sleep. Look at you, so lifeless. That's bad luck."

"If you want to die in your sleep, get out and die outside."

It was New Year’s Eve.

There was only one day left before the death day the doctor predicted for me.

The good thing was I had a little strength at the time.

I got up from the bed, put on some makeup, and put on my most beautiful dress.

Since I was going to die, I would die in a dignified manner.

Otherwise, my mother would scold me for embarrassing her.

Suddenly, I heard laughter coming from outside.

"Carol looks gorgeous in this dress."

"Just look at that. Mom's even envious."

That was my mother and my sister, Carol Jackson.

I pushed the door open and wanted to say hello to them, only to see annoyance on their faces.

My mother stared at me, her face gradually becoming sullen.

A look of disgust rose in her eyes.

"Take off that dress. You are so short and fat, and you have the nerve to wear the same dress as your sister. Why do you have to copy your sister all the time?"

"And your makeup. You look so ugly with so much blush on. It's gross."

I looked at Carol's clothes. They were actually quite different from mine.

And I had this dress for several years already.

My mother bought it for me herself.

As for my blush...

If I hadn't put too much blush on, my pale face might have made my mother even angrier.

"Mom, I..."

I wanted to explain, but before I could talk, my mother pushed me back into my room.

She glared at me impatiently and said, "Don't. I just feel annoyed when you talk. Go get changed and wipe off that blush."

"It's New Year's Eve. Don't embarrass me."

With a loud "bang", the door was slammed shut.

Carol's soft voice penetrated my ears through the crack in the door.

"Mom, don't get angry during the holiday. It will ruin your fortune for the whole year. Caroline didn't mean to upset you."

My mother sneered, "Don't speak out for her. I know her. Ever since you came back, she has been trying to compete with you in everything and complaining about us for being unfair."

"How could she not know how much we've been through in those years looking for you? She is just an ungrateful bastard who can't bear to see us doing well."

After a few seconds of silence, I clearly felt that my mother's voice had become much lower.

"If we hadn't lost you, we wouldn't have had another child."

"I only realized that she was nothing compared to you when she was born. She's so different from you."

The sound was low, but I still heard it. It hurt so much.

"Mom.

The door isn't soundproof. I can hear it." I thought.

But my feelings didn't matter anymore.

I was a substitute, and my sister came back.

So, I became useless.

In fact, I knew from a young age that I was not the daughter my mother wanted.

When I was little, she always loved to hug me and kiss my cheek.

The look in her eyes was so gentle.

But I always felt that she was looking at another person through me.

She named me Caroline Jackson.

I asked her what my name meant. She took my hand and said it had no meaning.

"No matter where Carol goes in the future, mom will miss you."

I didn't tell her, but my grandmother told me the secret.

I had a missing sister named Carol Jackson.

I was small at that time and thought that as long as I didn’t expose the secret, the Carol my mother missed was me, Caroline.

It would be me.

But when I was ten years old, they found my sister.

Her return broke my dream and forced me to stop lying to myself.

I had to give up my room and move into the garage.

"From now on, you will be called Caroline. Carol is your sister's name."

"Caroline, your sister has suffered a lot in the past. You should be more understanding. Mom will get you another room in the future."

"You can't be so voracious. You've had all kinds of food. Leave the ribs to your sister."

"It's raining heavily. I'll go pick up your sister. You can take a cab and go home yourself."

...

Later, I never moved out of the garage again.

I never had my mother's ribs again.

My mother didn't know that I didn't actually get a cab on that rainy day.

I cried in fright, walking alone in the lightning and thunder, and when I got home, I was soaked.

But my mother only complained about me for bringing the cold air from outside into the house.

"If Carol catches a cold, I'll beat you to death."